Reading all the posts from you wise ladies. I realise I don’t really need to hold onto everything of Malcolm’s . It’s true. it really is upsetting seeing them and I think I’m getting close to doing something , at least with his clothes. The guitars will definitely go to someone who would love them and use them and his cameras too. Mikita girl, I only use his coffee mug now, out of a whole rack of mugs I used to love. It’s the only one I want, the others can all go.I too carry his wallet with his ancient students union card and have his slippers by the fire. A friend made me a beautiful memory box and amongst other sentimental thingx there are many valentines cards in there , from both
of us. When I’m feeling sad I get them all out, sob over them and feel a bit better afterwards. Odd, I know! I also have left his toothbrush in it’s mug and wear his watch too. Funny what things comfort us. But we’re all trying to cope in our own way . Sending love and hope xxx
Dear bjane
My daughter has found someone who makes memory bears from items of clothing. Many parents have them made out of old primary school uniforms when their children move on to secondary school. And now she is going to have a bear made out of Steve’s shirts for my granddaughter…This may be something that you would consider. I don’t think I will have one done for me though. I wear his ring, I have photos round the house, I have his key ring. I gave my children personal things, watches, drills, penknives that do thirty different things! I have cards that we sent to each other and I sleep with a velour Mickey Mouse that he bought at a charity do. And like you , I have lots of really good memories.
Hello Montagu,
Too early to even spell properly! Hello Montague,
! Oh yes , penknives that’s so thirty things, Malcolm had one of those too! Had already bought one each for our sons but will give it to our daughter, I have a smaller one and they are really useful! The bear sounds a lovely idea but I’m still attached to a balled up sweater and shirt I’ve been sleeping with for three months. It’s so nice to cuddle and I keep it topped up with a quick blast of his body spray so it still smells just like Malcolm. He had some lovely shirts and I’m thinking of making them into a patchwork quilt , maybe later in the year whenI’m at a loss for something to do and the evenings are drawing in. Also there are boxes of photos to get into albums , another winter activity I think! There are lots of photos on my phone and Malc’s computer but I do love photos I can hold and look at wherever I am. Hope you have a good day x
I wear my Ron’s wedding ring too and I am thinking of having it connected to mine via a small chain with a heart on although some jewel
Last post cut off. I was trying to say that some jewellers have advised me against getting a chain to join the rings.
Orthodox you can’t do that, it sounds a really nice thing to do. Malc lost his wedding ring in the garden a few years ago.He wasn’t usually very careful with things but was mortified about it. Searched for hours and hours! Will probably turn up in a few hundred years time and amaze everyone! It was engraved inside so a mystery will be solved! From one💔to another💔x
This problem of what to do with a loved ones possessions comes up often. Of course we will all do what is best for us. I disposed to charity shops all my wife’s clothing and worldly goods, but kept all her paintings. She was a watercolour artist. She put so much of herself into her paintings and they are on the walls. They are not material things but reminders of better days.
This is so much a personal subject, and if anything gives us some comfort then why not.
Take care all. John.
Thank you for that John, am just coming round to thinking about sorting out his clothes for charity. More difficult thanks to Covid and don’t want to take them locally. Couldn’t bear to see someone else wearing his clothes.I know that’s selfish and I should just be glad that someone else is enjoying them and I want them to, and to support the charity shop, just couldn’t bear to see it. Take care and thank you for your lovely view on life x
Hi there bjane
As John has said this topic comes up quite often and there seems to be so many views on it.
I forgot to say that like John wife my Brian was also a painter and I have his paintings all over the house. I have a group in the living room and I change the paintings from summer to winter as he also liked his winter scenes. He always signed them in the bottom right hand corner.
I sent most of his clothes to charity but I then did a very stupid thing when I went into the shop a few weeks later and I found his trainers and hugged them. I was in pieces so I think you are very wise not wanting to see his clothes again.
Was it a man thing to have those multitask penknives. I found one in his bedside drawer, it’s still there.
Pat xx
Those pictures sound lovely and a way to be really close to Brian,That’s what I would dread, coming upon some of his things and I can just imagine how you felt, how upsetting. I always used to think donations were relocated but one year before Christmas I had a massive clear out of toys, etc to make room for influx. Walked past our local charity shop with our then 4 yr old daughter and there they all were in the window! After several”I have one of those” comments we did our shopping and she forgot about it but I’m wary!! Will try and get them to another town I think, just to be sure! Yes those Swiss Army knives are def a man thing, Malc’s is in the bedroom. If our daughter doesn’t want it I’ll
hang on to it, who knows when I might need such a multi purpose tool! Especially now we have to do everything ourselves! Keep smiling, sending love xx
HI there
Finding his things was my own stupidity as the shop was in another town. I chose to walk in and look around. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
xx
Thank you xx
One idea you might try with the wedding ring is to wear it under yours. Mine is smaller than John’s so it keeps his firmly in place. I also like to see the two of them entwined together on my wedding finger. I was afraid to use a chain as it can so easily break.
Lovely idea, but haven’t found his yet, since he lost it a while ago. Have a friend who seems to have a direct line to St Anthony so really should ask her to put in a request on my behalf! xx
Hi Les I was married to my husband for 50 years another Looking after him for the last two years of his life he hated it he was such a proud man but I love him so much I would do anything For him I just miss him being around so much nothing to do Now just loneliness
Patricia48
I feel the same way. I was married for 52 wonderful years. I miss him so much . He has been gone for 10 months and I cry everyday. I am very lonely. I have a wonderful son but he can’t replace what I am missing. Your right life is nothing anymore.
Hope the best for you
Pat and Makita girl, I share your pain. 49 years for me, married, 5
52 years together, meant to say! He died 4 months ago and it seems to be getting worse nearly every day., losing that one person who loved you more than anyone ever could.I find I keep crying ,this awful melancholy keeps coming over me no
matter how much I try to keep busy , talk to friends, etc. I just can’t bear the thought that he’s not here and never will be again and I’ll never feel his arms around me ever again. Life does feel so pointless some days and I feel like I have no purpose any more, just me, myself and I. Let’s hope tomorrow Cdawns a bit brighter for all of us, united in our grief xxxx
@bjane I hope so but somehow I don’t think it will get any better for years and years if ever. X