It was a friday for me … i still got the newspaper from that day ! Honestly i shouldve gone with him ;( my life is over really ;( i feel like im just existing - not living ;( xx
2 Likes
Just been to Nicks grave. It looks terrible 
The rain has made it sink. Ill have to go and get bags of soil and go back. Its a good half an hour/ 45 min drive, but ill have to. Hes buried on top of his mum who passed 20yrs ago.
I feel so sad all the time, cant shake it off xx
3 Likes
I know the feeling … its just all so sad isnt it ? How far are you on this rubbish road though … youre early days arent you ? Xxx
1 Like
Yes, very early days. Nick passed away 20th April.
I looked after him 6th January until he fell and was put into a home 13th march. I went every day and fed him, thats the least i could do. I feel redundant now. Not needed.
My son lives with me and hes struggling with me! He wants me to get on with it!
So, he goes out as much as possible.
My daughter has her own home and i dont see her now, unless i make the effort to go and see her.
Going back to work 3rd june. Will be good for me. The kids will keep me going.
Evenings and weekends will be filled with housework, shopping and looking after Nicks grave.
We used to clean and tidy the grave for his mum… that went to once a month. Then twice a year… but Nick had me and we had a life 
xx
2 Likes
Veey early days - just keep being kind to yourself … self care. Thats what i was told. Its like a snunami coming towards you at beginning. Thsts what i found anyway ! Xx
2 Likes
Saturday and Sunday are the worst we used to go on our canal boat with the dog and stop off for a drink now I’m sitting in my living room crying
4 Likes
I can relate too. I lost my husband nearly 12 months ago now,still feel the same,tears every day,empty and so lonely without him.We had no children,just the two of us and had been together for 37 years.
Sending hugs xx
6 Likes
Today is just getting worse.
Reality is really slapping me in the face today.
I want him back.
I know all of you understand.
I really hope you are having a better day!
Rose x
4 Likes
Some days are a lot worse than others the beginning of the week i was ok ish but since last Thursday i have told everybody not to call or text and have been crying uncontrollably at times weekends are worse my husband died suddenly 18th april he was 63 we had so many plans now nothing
3 Likes
Love and hugs to you . Its a really hard path we are all on one that none of us want to be on .
3 Likes
So very sorry.
Sending hugs x
1 Like
So true!
Sending love and hugs to you x
Debrat
Similar I’m 63 my husband 58 so many plans and all gone. It’s overwhelming isn’t it . Rest up sending you courage.
I feel robbed as well as many other feelings .
4 Likes
I lost my husband suddenly 6 weeks ago, he was 65, I am 56, I am still off work, I miss him so much, he was my 3rd time lucky hubby, so that’s why I know I was lucky after an abusive previous marriage, we were together nearly 24 years but only had 17 months of marriage after we “eloped” to Gretna Green" it was during lock down loving spending 24 hours 7 days a week together that we decided to run a way and get married, we both cried the day we got married, and that certainly didn’t happen before. He was my everything I really don’t like not having him here, it isn’t getting any easier .
3 Likes
My husband was taken suddenly on April 15th, one min we are talking about going to the garden centre then he is having CPR on our living room floor! two days in icu and having to watch his life support being turned off, I feel totally robbed, together 24 years and only had 17 months of marriage, I still relive the moment 6 weeks later!
4 Likes
Had to reply my husband died on the 18th April like you was very sudden he collapsed in bathroom early hours of the 16th taken to icu and then after 3 days he had no brain activity and they turned the machines off on the 18th i know exactly what your going through my life has changed completely we had made such plans i feel part of me has died with him this weekend has been hell just in house on my own my choice but a bad one
4 Likes
Oh im very sorry for you but that is so romantic getting married in Gretna green in lockdown… how lovely and must be a lovely memory for you . You are in really early days and course its very painful for you . We are all grieving on here for our partner. Hope it helps you xxx
3 Likes
Oh you do know what we are both going through it,! I am a massive organiser I even have holidays , and theatre shows booked for 2025! and my husband not being here wasn’t part of my plan! I certainly have not made it easy for myself.
1 Like
Oh my Debrat are you in Liverpool? I am from Liverpool and my family are still there, I came to Devon when I was 18 to be a blue coat at Pontins. I really miss Liverpool and we were only there 3 weeks before my husband died the last photo I have of him is holding a large glass of red, in the vines pub in town x
4 Likes
My husband was Nick , we were together nearly 24 years, and only had 17 months of marriage , I too waited so long to find Mr perfect, two previous naff marriages he gained my trust in men again, and now I am a widow age 56! and I will always be married to Nick, no one else could ever come close x
3 Likes