Hi Mccoy1 .
You are right. Any exchange or doing things with our beloved mums and nan create wonderful memories.
God bless and take care. Stephen.
Good morning Stephen.
I think today you start your volunteering at the museum?
I hope you will find it an interesting and positive experience.
Stay positive, thinking of your lovely mam.
Take care and have a peaceful day.
(Only a few hours there and then your time is yours!- but you’ll probably be meeting with many new people, that the time will fly by.
I think you’ll really enjoy your day). Sending you warmest wishes. Wuu
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Hello Wuu.
It is so kind of you to remember and as you always do, send me a truly lovely message. I was looking forward to volunteering.
However, I have a BMW that me and mam bought between us 2 and a half years ago. Doing the shopping yesterday an error message came on and car went into limp mode. So i rang my garage amd had to take it up there at 8.30am this morning.
That meant that I could not go today. I have to stay with the phone plus the buses here are not negotiable. I emailed Sarah who is in charge at the Museum and Art Gallery. She said it was a shame but took me off the rota for today.
I am hoping the car gets sorted today or tomorrow so that I can go Friday.
I have had a car since I was 17. Me and mam and dad travelled everywhere in them. When dad passed away we still needed one. Local trips, day trips, Scarborough six times a year plus shopping. I feel lost without one
Thank you again Wuu. You’re so kind and thoughtful. How are you feeling today? I hope you are as well as you can be. Sending you all my warmest wishes and blessings. Stephen.
Hello sparrow2.
How are you? Are you progressing with decorating your bedroom?
I should have had my first volunteer session today. However, my car had an issue yesterday, so i booked it in for today which meant I could not attend my volunteering session. I did email the lady and she took me off the rota for today. I was looking forward to it.
However, i have had cars since I was seventeen. Me and mam and dad and after that me and mam, used them all the time. We would have been lost without them. I am now.
I still haven’t got my car back. They have sorted one issue but they need to do a pressure test tomorrow morning to check for leaks that aren’t readily visible.
I am still missing mam very much. The last few days have been quite hard. Today though at dinner and tea, after I have eaten I watched some of the videos of mam. Smiling, talking, waving, saying bye bye and saying I love you after I have said it to mam. They make me cry so much. They are only a year or so old. She looks so well, but she looked well even when she was in hospital. I know deep down she wasn’t well ,but mam always put on a Smiling face and was more concerned about me.
God bless and sending you all my warmest wishes. Stephen.
Hello Stephen, It is a shame that you weren’t able to attend your first volunteering session, but your car has to take priority. Did your Mum always worry if there was a problem with your car? My Mum did. She knew that we depended upon it. She used to always be relieved when it was repaired, as she knew I needed it for work. She used to always say to get my car sorted. I imagine that your Mum was the same. I have also been driving since I was 17. I always say that it is the best skill to have. I can visualise your Mum smiling and happy. My Mum was the same. They were a generation who never complained and they never wanted us to worry. My Mum would not tell me if she was unwell as she did not want to worry me. I am still sorting through things! I am bagging up for charity shop, local charity, friend, rubbish! I have accumulated so much as I was working and caring. My Mum’s best friend died at 3am. She has always lived with her son. His Nan (lived with them), brother and Dad have all died. He cared for his Mum at home with the help of carers. His Mum had a fall and her dementia got worse in hospital. I have offered him any help he needs. I will give it a few days and will then visit him. My Mum and his Mum were such good friends. They used to see each other a few times each week and had such a giggle together. It is very sad. I don’t know if he will have to move out of his home. We are fortunate Stephen that we can stay in the home that we lived in with our Mums. Take care
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Hello McCoy1, I am pleased that you are better today. I am doing okay as I have busy sorting through things and they are not sentimental items. I also went to my uncle’s grave today. It is only me who goes. I always take fresh flowers, dust and check that his lamp is lit. He is not buried in the same cemetery as Mum, but in the peace garden of the church that he went to when he was little with his brothers and sisters. It is not too far. My Mum’s best friend died this morning. The little world as I knew it has changed so much in the past year, as people who we connected with have died. I just try to keep busy. Take care
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Good evening Stephen, sounds like your car issue was really inconvenient, but I’m sure Sarah from the museum understood.
I remember last October I was going to do some training workshops in Ely (other side of Cambridge).
Absolutely miles away from me. Problem was when my cars’ powered steering failed. 
My car was like driving a tank. So I had to miss a whole days training.
That meant I had only two more days of training when everyone else had three, then had to be ready for the assessment?!. Well, that was impossible, so they postponed it.
But basically I’m still waiting for the training to resume! but to be much nearer than the 130 mile round trip!
I hope you’re not feeling to down as you did mention that the last few days you have and today would’ve given you a bit of a boost with your voluntary work.
So sending you some positive energy and more warmest wishes. Wuu.
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That’s very sad I saw you said she had had a fall and went to hospital how old was she?. May she now rest. My nan was never right after her shoulder break her dementia dipped terrible. I feel sorry for her son. He will be feeling like us lost and helpless and why did it have to happen. Very sad. And for yourself is a lot to see and hear. I hear a lot of it aswell recently.
It’s my Nan’s birthday tomorrow so I’m going the cemetery with some fresh flowers and say some words. I’ve found a song that fits me and her perfectly so will play that.
Thank you for your reply as always.
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Sorry to hear about your mum’s friend Sparrow. It’s so hard feeling like the world and life you had is shrinking. My world feels tiny at the moment and I know I need to widen it but I keep shying away from social things as well.
Anyway, I’ve had a down day today where just a few things have set me off. I went in work this morning as the head had asked to meet me at 9… then he kept me waiting all morning so actually met at 1. Then as soon as I got home I saw a friend on fb celebrating his mums 80th birthday with all the family. My mum didn’t make it to 80 - she missed it by 3 months. We marked it without her but it was incredibly sad. Little things I guess but just feeling low. I did go to the cemetery this afternoon and it was quiet so I had a good chat to my mum and nan. One bonus of being off work I suppose. It’s much busier at the weekend.
Sorry you didn’t make it to the museum volunteering Stephen. But there’s always next week. You definitely need to make sure your car is fixed to keep you getting out and about.
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Hello Sparrow2
Once again our mums are the same. Mam worried so much when we had car problems and when I was having to drive to teach. She too was relieved when it got repaired.
Plus we were both 17 when we learnt to drive and pass our tests. I always wanted to drive and I had my first driving lesson on my 17th birthday in November 1982. Lovely mam and dad paid for them for me God bless them. So generous. My first car was a Morris Marina 1.8 TC.
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your mum’s best friend. Given we are in the same situation, I feel so sad for her son too. It is very good of you to offer to help,but I know that generosity is in your character.
That is what i worried about. Mam’s Alzheimer’s whilst in hospital, but with me being there 13 hours a day she did very well which was a blessing.
You have been extremely busy with your bedroom and sorting things out. It keeps your mind focused as well. Our mums made sure we were okay even keeping any issues they might have had quiet.
I hope i get the car back by Friday if not before.
God bless and sending you all my warmest wishes and kindest regards. Stephen.
Thank you so much Wuu.
I am hopeful for getting the car back in the next couple of days. Cars are a nightmare. I can imagine what it was like without the power steering so tough and just about impossible. What a journey for your training. Ely is lovely ,but nearer home for you this time hopefully.
Thank you again for your support and kindness. All my best wishes Stephen.
Hello Mccoy1.
Beautiful idea to play a song that suits you both. That gives me an idea to do the same on mam’s birthday.
God bless and sending you all my kindest regards and best wishes Stephen.
Hello Sparrow.
I’m sorry to read that you’re mums best friend has passed. It’s so very hard isn’t it?
When the nearest ones who connected with your mum and shared chat have gone too.
It becomes very slowly a smaller world when we lose near and dear ones.
I saw some more sunflowers 
today and I thought of you and how much you say that they brighten up your day.
So here are a few
(not quite as beautiful as the one from your picture).
Sending you my warmest wishes. Wuu
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Hello Bach.
Thank you. It is a priority as you say to get my car sorted so I can get around. As Sparrow2 was saying about mum worrying if our cars weren’t running properly.
Typical of HT to keep you. I always believe in punctuality,plus it wasted your morning.
I found Bach that when I was young I was very shy. I would blush at nearly everything. After and during 30 years of teaching I became so confident. Meeting people, meetings, teaching and assemblies.
When I finished and mum was with me all the time when we went out everywhere we went i took the lead. Confident.
I find now that although I am still confident, I have lost some confidence since mam passed away.
Good to hear you were up at the cemetery today and it was quiet. That is what i like too so like you, i can chat to mam and dad and my grandparents as you did with your nan and mum today.
I have been feeling down too. When talking to my brother yesterday I only had to say mam and my voice broke up. I was saying earlier I have been watching video clips of mam. Smiling, waving, chatting and saying I love you Stephen. It is lovely to hear and watch ,but every time I watch them I cry and cry.
I think it was very touching and moving celebrating your mum’s 80th birthday 3 months after her passing. God bless your mum and you Bach. Lovely to hear from you.
God bless and sending you all my warmest wishes Stephen.
Hello McCoy1, I too am wishing you Nan a happy birthday. She will be pleased that you have taken her flowers and that you are ‘holding her in mind and heart’ today. Birthdays can be a tough occasion. I hope that it has gone as well as it can for you. I am not sure of my Mum’s friends age, but somewhere in her mid 80s. Falls are so dangerous for the elderly, as they often do not have a good outcome. Take care
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Thank you Wuu for the sunflowers.
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Hello Bach, Your HT does not seem to be very understanding. You have lost your Mum and are meant to be on summer break. Are you part of an academy? I know that we cannot be directed to go in during the holidays. People choose to go in to set-up classrooms and plan, but that is different. Your HT should really be ensuring that you get a break. It sounds like he might need reminding of his duty of care and staff well-being. I understand how the birthday of your friend’s Mum hit you. I felt similar when someone we knew went into hospital and recovered and Mum never came home. I hope that today has been a better day for you.
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Hello Stephen, How has your day been? I hope that the garage has started work on your car, as sometimes they take them in and don’t start straightaway. It is difficult without a car. My Mum’s friend’s son is doing very well. He has friends helping him and is getting things organised. He sounds very calm. I was a wreck. I had my partner helping me as I just could not focus. He is quite okay with moving out from the home he has lived in. I would find that really hard. My Mum and Dad also paid for my lessons. We were both had kind and caring parents. The lessons were about 10.00 hour then. I got them cheaper as I was a student. I am still sorting through my room and moving furniture today. I don’t like the place like this, all out of order. I will be pleased when everything is back in order. A photo of Mum with her friends (that I took) fell out from a book. I cried. Little unexpected things like that make me feel the loss of Mum and our happy times. I hope that your day has gone as well as it can. Take care
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Hi Sparrow. To be fair he’s been ok. He’s just not very organised. We had my appraisal before we broke up and didn’t finish it so he asked if I’d come in to talk about targets for next year. He marked me green for everything despite me not delivering on most of the strategic stuff I’d been supposed to do. He lost his brother about 6 weeks ago and has dealt with things very differently- coming back to work straight away etc. so he’s understanding in many ways but very different in others. The good thing is he’s not giving me a hard time when I’ve been in tears or unable to manage things.
Yeah I get that feeling when people come out of hospital too. My mum was on the stroke ward for 5 weeks but had only had minor strokes so was much less ill than most on there. She was expected to go home quite quickly…. But got more and more confused as time went on. They did another scan and found out she had cancer in her brain as well. It was very aggressive and with the strokes which kept on happening… She died about 5 days later. It just wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to come home like other people do.
Anyway thank you for caring. Hope you’re doing ok?
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Thank you.
How are you today?.
I know she would appreciate anything I would do. Shes probably saying hold it together or what a state you have got in it will be ok.
I saw one of the carers today and we were talking it made me very sad to think of the dementia side. But I think she sent her so someone could chat to me as I was talking over a hour.
But It’s a been a horrific day really. I started to watch videos which I’ve not done since she passed and it has made me very sad. She had such a lovely voice soft and welsh. I will love my beautiful nan forever.
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