Afternoon , been making myself busy all day , but that aching feeling never goes and I just had call regarding my father ,saying his health is deteriorating , so looks like im losing him too , now once again im a broken woman first mom now dad lord give me strength 
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Hello Lisa.
I am like you in that i like to keep busy doing jobs around the house. I only nipped out for a physio assessment this morning.
Sorry to hear about your dad’s deteriorating health. It is so sad and heartbreaking. I have cried that many times today that I have lost count.
I know it’s impossible, but I wish mam was here. She would know exactly what to do and say. I bet your mum would too.
Take care. Lovely to hear from you. I will keep in touch. Sending you all my kindest regards and best wishes Stephen
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My mother had dementia for 5 years she was none verbal towards the end she was not herself, then the stroke happened she never opened her eyes ever again she was dying for 3 days holding her hand and she passed , losing a parent is so painful x
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Aww im so sorry me 2 been crying on and off, but we have to continue someway , and your right our mother’s would know exactly what to say infact I was thinking about my mom and I prayed and said send me a sign u are ok and I went to shop and this car was parked infront look at the registration
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Hi Sparrow2
The sunflower popup card sounds lovely and with a lovely sentiment too. The emptiness of not having mum around is something that is never going away. And very hard to process how mum showed no signs of having any sort of symptoms to a dramatic demise in ten days to being then in a wheelchair then sleeping for hours. Then 5 months of being confined to only bed to eventually no liquids of any kind and that was when I knew no way she could carry on. Mum had a glioblastoma brain tumour. She also had kidney cancer none of which showed any signs or symptoms. And she never complained of being in any pain. So when one day she got very wobbly and sick the GP was initially slow to diagnose anything other than bladder infection. So mum was given antibiotics which obviously didn’t work or help mum in first ten days of hospital admission was diagnosed with this stage 4 brain tumour which was devastating. I just remember being told by doctor after mums mri and ct scan. It’s so dreadful thinking back then. Mum just became so frail. So many Rennie Grove nurses and district nurses by the end there were up to 70 people a week. Coming in doing washes and changes of meds along side me doing feeding and her tablets and washing. It was so intense. I was not going to let her go into a hospice home. They would of given her none of care she got staying in her own home. I know from hindsight I could not ever make her better but at the time I was just thinking for each day a little longer for mum to stay. Whilst her special profile bed was set up in living room I just between my caring for her would always be by her side chatting. She always had very good hearing and I didn’t want her to stress so I would chat about all things positive. I imagine as with your mum the shock of loss and her just not around anymore is still hard to process. Sending you warmest wishes. W
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Hi Lisa.
That is a definite sign. I always ask mam for these too and it is so comforting when it happens. Thank you for the picture too.
I had a similar experience yesterday. I will tell you in another message if that is okay.
All my best wishes.Stephen.
Hi Lisa
I found reading your posts very helpful and poignant. It is very sad when we lose someone so special and meaningful in our lives. My mum was my world I know that she was so much more than I could ever be and now she is no longer here I find myself getting slower just because I have no one I can ask advice on. Mum always said things that were much more important to me because she knew how I coped with things. She just made everything less stressed. She was very wise like that. I hope you find us all on this platform can help you through your loss and to keep in touch. We are all in such similar boats. Sending you warmest of wishes Lisa. W
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Yes please do xx
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Thank you and im enjoying talking to other people the pain is real and we all are suffering so much , nice to share memories and talk about our losses thank you xx
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That definitely is a sign because the chances of that happening randomnly are so slim. I also keep busy. I rarely stop and sit down. I find it helps me not to think. I live in a numb and surreal world but when I go into Mum’s room the tears come. I have everything left as it was before Mum went into hospital. I find it hard to think about Mum as I think and feel. I find it hard to look at my Mum’s personals as it starts me crying. Just wondering if you have moved anything or kept it the same? I still have Mum’s 4 walking sticks under the sofa! She kept them there to use but didn’t use them.
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I meant to say Mum’s possessions
Hello Wuu, You are absolutely right. Our Mums understood us, made us feel braver. Mum was so practical and made every right.
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My mother’s clothes are still here, nothing has changed I can not let go of my mother, she was my life , losing her has been one of the most devastating things in my life watching my mom struggle to breathe and not being able to do nothing has messed up my head, miss mom too much
It helps me to know that it isn’t just me. I am no good at decluttering at the best of times. By keeping the room exactly the same helps me feel that Mum is still with me. It all feels the same, as though Mum is here.
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Hello McCoy1, My uncle had vascular dementia and then an awful stroke. I was managing his care as Mum was his last remaining sibling. I felt that my Mum had undiagnosed dementia as she changed alot in the past year. I understand what you mean - I felt that I lost her twice. Mum was scared of getting dementia as her best friend had it. So I made the decision to let her live a happy life with no assessments. In the end, Mum had a cardiac arrest. This was unexpected as she was still very independent.
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I think dementia brings strokes and heart attacks as brain is dying whatever logic this is , I do not know but ,I hear many people with dementia die if strokes or heart attack ,in a way im blessed mom still knew me too the end but my dad is end of dementia he doesn’t know anything going on he is in a bubble alone and lost xx
Yes the consultant told me that my uncle would probably get taken by a heart attack. A stroke took him. Your Dad will feel your love and that will bring him comfort. It is so hard on you.
Its so hard bless him but in the end he with my mom and thats a real blessing been together since age 16 she died age 75 dads 79 ,may they meet again soon , when she died he cried once then he forgot , if he knew she going im doubtful I would still have him mom was his right arm until dementia hit them both xx
Good morning Sparrow 2.
My lovely dad passed away 9 years ago snd his clothes and are still in his wardrobe in mam and dad’s bedroom. Me and mam could never get rid of them.
My uncle, mam’s brother, who should know me after 60 years, but obviously doesn’t, said to me a few days after mam had passed away: don’t rush to throw your mam’s clothes out.
I was shocked. I told him I would never do such a thing. I told him about dad’s clothes. He has no empathy or understanding. It just shows he knows nothing about me.
God bless and sending you all my best wishes. Stephen.
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That shows very nice kindness to your mum and your uncle. It’s a horrible disease even I can’t understand the cruelty.My nan was scared but and hide her diagnosed at first but I know that was her way of trying to protect me. But It was heavy on her mind and she did tell me after but I never knew what it was as I was so young. I never knew how it could progress. I thought it was sweet old lady’s that forgot the odd thing.
I so miss my nan before the disease. Infact I just miss her with or without. she is such a beautiful person and kind she would help anyone don’t get y she had to go that way.