I understand y u keep their belongings.I can’t help but have a feeling like she’s coming back I have her glasses and watch on the side, and a teapot waiting in the cupboard. Miss her a lot like always.Nights seem the worse it’s like every thought takes over. And the fact shes not her hits me even more.
1 Like
I am the same. I still have everything how Mum left things with her glasses on the side as well. I find it hard when I spend time in Mum’s room as I find cards and photographs (which were important to her) kept safe. It breaks my heart.
1 Like
Is just a arwful thing to see. I’m so traumatised. I feel such empathy for anyone suffering it or their families. My nan went end of life again horrific. Her mini stroke was so unexpected as she was never diagnosed with vascular dementia they said it was alzimers.
Did you mum have vascular dementia? My nan had very high blood pressure which was one the causes of it. It affected her kidneys aswell and had a lot of urine infections.
1 Like
My mom had vascular dementia its the most cruel disease possible she lost all ability to talk to be like a woman, god bless my momma
1 Like
God bless you Mccoy1.
I feel the same too. Like mam is coming back home. I want her home of course but we know that even though it is impossible, it doesn’t stop us dreaming or thinking of it.
I always when I got our dinners and teas kept coming from the kitchen to the living room. Chatting to mam. Telling her what I was up to with the cooking and i did this constantly. Every time I came through the kitchen door into the living room, lovely mam was sat in her chair.
I still do the same now. Dinner and tea. In and out from kitchen to living room and back and back again. Telling mam what I am cooking. This is how it happens. On a few occasions. I have come from the kitchen into the living room and seen mam for a split second sat in her chair as she always was. It might sound incredible, but it has happened on about three occasions
Thank you for your message and I send you all my best wishes. Stephen.
2 Likes
Your Mum is there with you Stephen. I do believe that. I had experiences shortly after Mum died. I hope it brings you comfort. It helped me feel that Mum would always be witg me. Going back and forth reminds me of my Mum and me. I used to bring drinks in and then the food for us and then for our cat! She used to love watching our adopted cat waiting for her food. My Mum used to always put a tea towel on her lap to keep her clothes clean. She used to get it out ready and wait for me to bring the food in. She was always so grateful.
1 Like
Your Nan reminds me of my Mum. My Mum had high blood pressure and it affected her kidneys. I was forever giving her water which did improve her kidneys. She also got multi drug resistent UTIs and at one point had hallucinations. I would insist on culture tests to get the right antibiotics. We did eventually get on top of things but I had to ‘battle.’ Mum and I were a team. She always did what she could to help herself and we worked together to keep her as well as we could.
1 Like
God bless all our mams Sparrow 2.
They both had charming, engaging and wonderful traits that we so loved in them and those, along with all that they ever did for us, makes them so unique and special.
Best wishes. Stephen.
1 Like
Hi Stephen
Keeping your mums clothes can be a real comfort. So even if you keep them for the rest of time your Uncle or anyone else should not say anything. It’s how you want to remember your mum and what coping with loss is like for you. Grief and how we deal with it is not straightforward and takes lots of time to process. I remember one of the Rennie Grove nurses telling me she thought it was was unusual that I was so close to mum. Which I was taken aback. I mean some people I guess don’t have a connection with their mums. But for those of us that did it’s such a a huge loss that never really leaves us. Stay strong. Sending you warmest wishes. W
3 Likes
Hello Wuu.
Lovely to hear from you. What was surprising about my uncle was that he actually thought that i would get rid of mam’s clothes.
What would make him think that i wonder? Together 60 years. He should know me well enough to know i wouldn’t do that. That was a shock really.
Like the nurse who said to you about it being unusual that you and your mum were so close. What a strange statement to make and given her chosen career, you’d think that she would have more tact than that.
Like you allude to. She probably never ever showed her mum, the kind, caring , compassionate love that you showed for your mum and your mum showed for you.
Goodnight Wuu. Hope you are coping as best you can. I send you all my kindest regards and best wishes. Stephen.
1 Like
Good morning @Stephen65
Hope your day goes as well as it can do today. Take care 
1 Like
Good morning Tigerlily2.
Thank you for thinking of me. It is mam’s interment today at 11.30am. In a way I feel better knowing mam’s ashes will be away from the undertakers and interred with dad. After this a new stone is being put in place. We just go away for 10 to 15 minutes. It is a lovely stone. I bought some flowers yesterday to put on afterwards.
However. I just feel so upset and sad. I have cried twice since I got up 30 minutes ago.
Thank you again and I hope your day is as good as it can be too. Best wishes. Stephen.
Hi @Stephen65
I thought you had mentioned in a previous post that today was your mam’s internment. It’s a strange time I imagine with mixed emotions. It’s understandable that you have cried and feel sad. I remember feeling that way too on the day of mum’s internment. Although I know you feel this way other times too. That’s lovely that you have ordered a stone and bought flowers for today, Wishing you all the strength you need and I will be thinking of you at 11.30am. Take care
1 Like
Thank you very much Tigerlily2 for all your kind words and thinking of me today with mam’s interment.
It is mixed feelings. Glad mam and dad are together, but like you said on your mum’s interment, feeling sad and emotional too.
God bless and I send you all my best wishes. Stephen.
1 Like
Hi Stephen
Sending you lots of strength and courage for today as you mentioned it’s your mum’s internment today. It will be very emotional for you and you may find yourself feeling very sad. Always remember you are not alone we are all here with you Stephen, on this platform we do all understand about the loss of our mums. And how special your mum was for you and how your mum thought the world of you. As her son, her confidente, her carer you meant so many things for her. That is why she lived so well because of you. Know that your love for your mum was giving her the energy till the end. You gave her more time and although she was taken away too soon know that through all your love and care for your mum Stephen that time had come when she had to go. Like I never wanted my mum to leave, ever. But like Alzheimer’s, Brain tumours all these terrible diseases which our mums never deserved they fought a hard battle and to see them fade is heartbreaking 
. I know nothing is forever but we want it to be. You’ve been in your mums life for 60 years. That formed a very important bond between you both. Your reason to be and live without your mum will be a tough journey, as I know. I am still on my journey one year on and that doesn’t seem possible-even me writing and reading that back to myself. Stay strong. We are all here for you. Keep posting. Sending you warmest wishes. W
2 Likes
Hello Wuu.
Thank you for such a moving and eloquent message. I do feel very sad , but i know I am most days, but today feels like I did on mam’s funeral seven weeks ago today.
You are so kind and your words about me and mam are beyond measure. Thank you so much for your support and guidance.
It helps so much. God bless and I send you all my best wishes .Stephen 
1 Like
Hello Stephen, I am thinking of you today. We want our Mums to stay with us forever and I know can never imagine anything different. You showed your Mum dedicated love and care. Your Mum lived such a good life because of the care and love that you gave her. Today, will not be easy, but your Mum will always be with you Stephen - remember that. She will be thinking that you did well today. Your Mum and your Dad will be together - both will be proud of you. Take care
1 Like
Good morning hope your well im thinking of all u guys hurting and sending a big virtual hug to everyone cause this pains real , the love we lost , but we never ever forget in our hearts forever , rip mothers and father’s hope u are all having fun up there in paradise 
2 Likes
Hi Sparrow2
It’s very true we want our mums to be around forever which is sadly impossible. It’s now how we deal with the empty void our mums have left us now they have gone. I know my mum was really quite a healthy-go-getting kind of person and would never regard her self as old! She did look young, no white hair even at 78. She’d always wear her lipstick, several lipsticks on the go. One in her hand bag, one in every coat pocket. I’ve kept one as a keep sake. They had to be ‘dusky-rose 01’ number7 from Boots! Same colour and I tell you Boots did discontinue that colour at one point. And that became a major hunt down for an equivalent! Mum liked to wear colour. I guess she was a real 60’s girl. She did take pride in her appearance. I kept her hot air styling brush, comb, and make up mirror too in a little set. It’s so important we can share our ‘mum memories’ so we don’t feel so alone. Keep posting. Sending warmest wishes. W
1 Like
Good afternoon Sparrow 2.
Thank you for all those kinds words about mam and me. We were up at the cemetery at 11.15am. There was me, my brother, two nieces and one of my niece’s husband. The undertaker was there about 11.25am. The representative from the council had already lifted the paving stone and dug a hole for mam’s ashes. The undertaker turned to me and my brother and said who will put the ashes in?I said me. I held them close for a few seconds then got down on the pad they had put there and placed mam’s ashes in. I kissed the top of the urn and said a few words.
The undertaker then read an extract from the bible. After this we all said a prayer.
We had another few minutes where in turn we knelt down and scattered some sand into and on mam’s urn. When I did it, I kissed the urn again. After standing a couple more minutes we went with the undertaker while the hole was filled in. The memorial people put mam and dad’s new stone on. When they had done, we walked back and I put fresh flowers on.
I cried a few times. Katie my niece cried once. It was sad, but I can go up now mam and dad are reunited. The cemetery is only 10 minutes walk from where I live.
We left about 12.15pm. We went to a local place called Marr Lodge for a dinner and a drink in mam’s memory. I have never drank alcohol, it was a Pepsi but the main thing was mam.
I got back home at 2.30pm. Thank you always as usual for your support and kind words.
Best wishes. Stephen.