Thank you again for your kind words. Everything you write is so lovely. We were up at the cemetery at 11.15am. The undertaker arrived at 11.25am. The representative from the council was already there and had taken the paving slab off and dug a holes for mam’s ashes. The undertaker gave me mam’s ashes. I held them close a few seconds. I then kissed the top of the urn and placed it in the hole. I said a few words.
The undertaker read an extract from the Bible and then we all said a prayer. We then took it in turn to scatter sand into the hole and on mam’s urn. We knelt individually to do it. I spoke a few words. God bless mam. Love you forever. Good night god bless.
We then had a short walk around while the stonemason fitted mam and dad’s new stone. We then went back and I put fresh flowers on their grave. We then had another few minutes and left about 12.15pm.
We then went for meal in mam’s memory at a lodge in a local village.
I can now go and see mam.and dad reunited. The cemetery is only 10 minutes away. I was very sad and cried a few times.
Thanks you once more for your kind words and support Wuu.
Just to say that mam has been interred. We were up at the cemetery at 11.15am and left there about 12.15pm. The interment was sad and I cried a few times. I put mam’s ashes into their resting place. I kissed the urn and spoke a few words. The undertaker read an extract from the Bible and we said a prayer. Individually we knelt and put sand into the hole or onto mam’s urn. As you do at a burial.
We went for a few minutes away from the grave while the stonemasons put mam and dad’s new stone in place. We went back and I put fresh flowers on.
When we left we went to a lodge in a local village for a meal mam’s memory.
I am pleased mam and dad are reunited. There is room on the stone for my name. The cemetery is only 10 minutes away, so I can go anytime I want.
Thank you as always for your kindness and support. I appreciate it.
Hi Stephen
Your day must have been very emotional for you. And it all sounded very dignified and peaceful but very sad as you scattered the sand over your mums urn. You will have moments I am sure where you will revisit this day again in your mind and more tears but it’s a process that our minds can deal with grief and loss. It’s going to be hard initially and with time you will learn a bit each day how to deal with the sadness. Always remember we are all here for each other, on this journey too. And we understand how hard this is for you. You are never alone on this platform Stay strong and do keep posting. Sending you positive energy. Warmest wishes. W
Thanl you. You are so kind, eloquent and gracious. It is something that will play out in my memory. I have cried a couple of times since I got back in.
Hi @Stephen65
Thank you for letting me know how your day went. It sounds like you put a lot of thought and care into you mam’s interment, as you did with everything you did for her. I’m sure it was an emotional day for you. I’m glad it’s not too far away so you can go if you want to and put some flowers there. It may not be the same for you but I find peace when I go to the cemetery. When I feel sad or upset I tell myself mum is always with me and loves me. That seems to bring me comfort. I hope the same for you. Take care
Yes I look at her old stuff she kept and I can never get over how organised same was.I read her old notes sometimes and it brings comfort. As some of her belongings feel like they’re waiting for her return so is my heart and soul and always will b.
Yes I can imagine. I would love an experience where I see my nan again for even a split second. I do talk to her though a lot specially when I’m trying to make her laugh like I used to. I’m sure she was watching over u 2day as proud as ever.
Take care Stephen today will play on your mind but try to rest and think inside what would you mum say.
Thank you. I agree with you. I do find comfort in going to the cemetery. I like to talk to mam and dad and then I visit my grandparents and great grandparents. I do stand and cry though, particularly at mam and dad’s grave.
What annoys me sometimes is if a few people are in my vicinity whilst at their grave, I cannot speak how I normally would.
With my nan it was all her walking. Oh she suffered with that disease. When I look back it makes me so upset at the time I just hoped she’d get better or was an off day.
Thank you ever so much Mccoy1.
You are very kind and thoughtful and I really appreciate the way you support me about mam with your messages.
You do right to talk to your nan. Also to make her laugh like you used to do. There is a lot of comfort in it. I speak to mam all the time. Your nan i am certain can hear you. I believe mam can too. I ask her things.
Those split seconds where I am certain mam was in her chair were really quick, but she was definitely there. I think your nan is there too in every thing you do and everything you did for her. You are a wonderful grandson to her and she was obviously very proud of you.
God bless and I send you all my best wishes Stephen.
It’s very sad. My nan used to go terrible with UTIs It is a very terrible battle exhausting. I’m noticing that a lot had similar experiences such a shame.
Hi @Stephen65
Im glad it brings you comfort to go there. I go to see my grandparents, brother and mum. Hopefully you can have quiet times too when nobody else is there and you can say the things you want to
I am pleased that if went well and was a very dignified and loving moment Stephen. You mentioned Katie before as someone who has understanding. It is good thar you had a meal afterwards to honour your beloved Mum.
Hello Wuu, Your Mum took care of her appearance. My Mum was similar as she would put some blusher on and liked her hair to be nice. I can imagine you trying to track down your Mum’ alternative lipstick and it being quite a search! It is lovely to hear about your Mum - good to share and keep tye connection with our Mums.
Going to Mum’s grave is a huge comfort to me too. It sets me up for the week. My Dad is buried with my Mum and my Grandfather (who died before I was born). I put bulbs and plants in, water the plants, put fresh flowers in, light candles and clean everything. I always end by telling my Mum that I love her, miss her and I say God Bless. Strangely, I avoided the cemetery when my Dad died as I did not like to think of him there, although I was young when he died. It is the opposite now for Mum as I feel like I am close to her by being there. I have to arrange for the headstone to be cleaned etc over the summer, as it has to be a period of time before I can do it.
I was up at 4.30 today as I did a drive to my sisters. The funeral is in a couple of weeks. It is a very long drive. I haven’t been home long. Driving back, it felt like a dream. Mum would always be with me in the car. When I arrived home, reality hit and I had a cry.
It is good that your parents and grandad are together. It is so comforting to be there where they are laid to rest.
It sounds like you do a wonderful job with all the flowers and the planting. It will look lovely.
It also means you can chat to them. Before mam’s Alzheimer’s stopped her going to the cemetery. visiting made her upset, she always said to my dad and then when we were at mam’s parents grave: goodnight god bless. Mam said to me I know it’s not night time Stephen, but you know i always say it and I said you do right mam.
It is so awful to be in the car travelling on your own, especially going a long way, when you were used to your mum being in with you. I feel the same in the car now.
What with the passing away of your brother in law, travelling on your own and getting home, you must have bottled your emotions up and when you got home you released them. I do that too.
