My family think I am doing well. They tell me how much I have improved over the past few months but they don’t realise I’m dying inside. It only takes once or twice to go out and maybe smile whilst having coffee and I’m back living life. They choose to think that because it makes them feel better. I have taken to holding back the tears until I’m on my own. It’s all so sad x
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Nel
I agree. I don’t tell family and friends how I really feel these days. The only people I can tell the truth to are two friends who are widows like me. It’s such a relief to tell the truth as to how I really feel.
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I think it’s good to tell the truth, i cry everywhere it doesn’t matter where i am, whether it’s in the car in the supermarket, going for a walk you need to let it go, people don’t know what your going through. xxx
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I to lost my husband 4 months ago after being married nearly 60 years ( I was 20 and he was 22 ) 19 and 21 when we met we just had each other no friends but family but they are busy or wrapped up in their own lives. I can’t imagine how it would be like when he died I do nothing but cry. I hope to move in a few months maybe make friends but will have my beloved with me and is waiting until I join him
Xx
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Anna80
Good luck with your move. I think you are brave to be moving at this time. Have been widowed 21 months and although everyone thinks I’m coping well but I’m really not. Just put on a good front. Big hugs to all.
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Hi Dave, yes the bank holidays are very tough at least this is the last one for a few months. Do you like walking? I find when I am down I go for a walk and this helps so much, I smile at people and the cloud lifts for a while, nobody can help us Dave but we can try to help ourselves . I feel your pain but please try and focus on something, I joined a bereavement group which helped gosh I seem to be saying help a lot which we need at times. Please take care and smile when remembering the good times x
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I am not coping at all but my beloved did not this place so maybe by moving with him he will like where we are going. He had so many disabilities from an accident in 1984 lost his hearing and balance also had vascular dementia confirmed in 2019 and other problems I was his wife/carer but we had a wonderful life until
Last year when he began to fall hence ending up in hospital many times he always came home except for this last time 4 months ago but I was with him every day for the 12 days and when he breathed his last. Am I coping I cry every time I think of him or look at the many photos I have of him. My life will never be the same.
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Thanks Linda,
I do love walking and I have joined a walking group
and we meet up every Wednesday, I then go for lunch with them afterwards. I do enjoy the company. I also walk along the coastal paths on my own. But once I return home the loneliness hits me again. I talk once a week on the phone with Cruse, it helps a little and I start with a bereavement group next Tuesday. I really find the loneliness hard to deal with.
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Hi
It is so hard dealing with the loneliness. I have recently joined a walking group on a Wednesday morning and we walk for an hour and a half then back to the community centre for a cuppa. Went to a bereavement support group for the first time last Friday. There were only four other people there but they were very welcoming and it was good to talk to people who really understand. Hope your group is helpful to you.
Take care xx
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I have read through these posts and mainly how I feel I lost my husband 8 weeks ago not to cancer but a cruel illness that paralysed him. To watch someone who had a love of books and read a daily newspaper not able to do those things was heart-breaking. Also to know if they had picked it up earlier he might still be here but he`s not and nothing will bring him back. I feel totally overwhelmed by it at times and at others able to cope. The death of the Queen for some reason has brought it all flooding back with a bang. We were together 42 years and married 39 we also worked together all that time so especially hard as spent hardly anytime apart
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It’s a total rollercoaster And we have no control over the triggers, people say be strong etc but they have no idea unless they go through it x
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Heather56
I’m so sorry to hear of the awful time you are having. When I first lost my husband nearly two years ago I can’t remember totally how I felt but I know I was devastated. I still miss and long for him now but the pain is a little easier. I hope you soon find some peace from the awful pain. Big hugs.
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I am grieving not just for my wife but for the death of the old happy me.
Never smile or laugh anymore.
No interest in anything that used to engage me.
Pointless existence.
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Hi , I know exactly what you mean . I was always full of fun . Never felt my age . But now just feel like a miserably old woman . Can’t see it ever getting any better . I did actually like the other me . But this me don’t like one bit . And I know my husband wouldn’t like either . Xtake carex
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Same here. I don’t like myself anymore, I don’t recognize who this person is in my body. My soul went away with my husband and all that’s left is a shell.
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I feel exactly the same. I just want the old me back living with Ian as before. My garden was my pride and joy and yet now, I can’t bear to step into it.
I’ve had a lovely day with a local WAYUP group but all I wanted when I got home was Ian to be there.
It’s been 15 months now and the yearning for life to be as it was is getting more intense, not less.
I can’t bear the thought of more years like this.
Julie x
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I feel exactly the same. I wasn’t an outgoing person before but Rob made up for it. There just doesn’t seem any long in living anymore. Rob was my life and as time goes by the loss is more intense and time is NOT a healer. Spent most of the day crying. Life is nothing now. Thinking of you all
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Same here. I spent most of the day crying. I can’t remember the me before she has been swallowed up in grief. All I want like everyone else is my husband I can’t believe there are so many of us. It was something I never gave a thought to until my H died. I just can’t believe how much pain and misery we all experience every day. I look out of the window and I see people happily walking by gettin on with their lives. The sun is shining and I think how can this be when my world has been blown apart x
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I always think why me . Why my husband . Why my life ruined . All we wanted was to grow old together. Now I sit thinking I wish I was really old . So I would know it wouldn’t be long till I’m with my husband again . I’m not scared of dying . I’m more scared of living a long time without my husband and my happy life xtake carex
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That is what I’m scared of as well……
X Julie
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