Broken2222
I totally see where you are coming from. On my 75th birthday last year I can’t imagine anything more awful than a birthday party whether it was with my large family or not. I can’t recall what i did but I couldn’t celebrate my first birthday without my darling Paul. I doubt whether I will ever celebrate my birthday again however long I live. Big hugs to youx
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Hi , thank you it does help . I have got to thinking now it was all my fault . I should of been more grateful . But helps to know I am not the only one who feels like this . I just needed to be able to cope with it on my own. In my own way . To me there was and will never be anything to celebrate again without hubby next to me . Just another day closer to being with him . Back in his loving arms where I belong . Xtake carex
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@Broken2222, you were neither of those negative adjectives you used, you were absolutely right to feelthe way you did… I can understand your family but I understand YOU even more. I also went through both our birthdays and wedding anniversary this month, did nothing at all, just ordinary days, for me the saddest days now, when they used to be the happiest.
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@Broken2222 I cannot imagine how hard that was for you. I really don’t understand how people can be so insensitive especially with what you are going through. I’m so sorry and I’m sending you a hug. xx
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Hi , I have never been a party person . So why they thought I would like or enjoy it now . I don’t know . I know it was kind and thoughtful of them . When hubby was here our special days . We’re spent at the beach eating fish and chips . I know doesn’t sound much . But it was our thing and romantic and beautiful to us . Thank you . It helps me to know I am not alone in how I feel . Xtake carex
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Hi . Yes it was awfull . And now suffering more than before . I know in there own way they were trying to be kind . But definetly not the right thing for me . And I think they should of realised as they have known me all my life . It’s only people who have lost there one true love that understands . Thank you . Hug back xtake carex
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Sending my love to you all. I am struggling and crying every day, i know it’s early days but it’s not getting any easier. I just go through the motions each day. I went out on Friday night for a meal to celebrate my great niece’s exam results, it was a good night but not the same without Sheila. I miss Sheila so much and i just can’t cope. I will love Sheila forever and i can’t wait to be reunited with her. xxx
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Hi . It’s almost a year since my whole world fell apart . And my heart shattered . It doesn’t get any easier . Well for me it hasn’t . And I just get through each day waiting for my last day , so I can be back with hubby . Thinking of you xtake carex
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Hi Dave 2, so sorry for your loss the pain and loneliness is unbearable at times but keep going especially for your new grandson. He will give you so much pleasure and are you able to go and see him often, watch him grow and make memories which you can tell Sue about when you sit quietly. I go and talk to my husband at the cemetery, I find it helps. Life is hard without our other half but we have to endure the blessings we have. Please take care and I promise you it does become more bearable as time goes by x
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Hi @Broken2222,
that must have been difficult for you, especially as you had said don’t make a fuss.
Made me think to a conversation I had with my daughter last week. She came with me to a breavement support group, this point was raised by one of the other people there.
On the way home my daughter said to me mum, when I ask you to go on outings or come to join in family events, do you feel like that. I assured I didn’t and if I didn’t want to do something I would tell and I know she would respect my reasons why.
On the other side of the coin, I asked her, do you feel obliged to ask me round or go out with you because I’m on my own, I don’t want to be seen as dependant on you. She assured me they want me to be with them.
It was a good honest conversation, and as much as losing Doug has been horrendous we both said it has pulled out family closer together, especially between her and her brother. X
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Hi thank you for your reply . My daughter keeps asking me if I want to go out with her and grandsons . When I say no she accepts it . I really think my sisters should of thought better , it was our brothers funeral two days before . And I was very upset at that . Same place hubby was creamated . And couldn’t believe . Same song as hubby’s as coffin was carried in . Just a coincidence because my brother or his family hadn’t came to hubby’s funeral . So a hard or should I say harder week for me . And then turning up with that crap ( sorry ) . I can’t understand I know they were trying to be kind . BUT. I think people should listen to what we say and not think they know better . This is now our nonlife and we kind of know what helps us and what makes us sadder. … it helps to know people on this site understand . Xtake carex
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I feel this sometimes I et asked out because I’m on my own I also say if I don’t want to go as there’s times I just want to be alone… my husbands passing has also bought our immediate family closer … now some of the inlaws that’s another story 
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Six years for me.I was watching a YouTube about what he calls grief attacks. That’s exactly what it feels like an attack on your mind and body. You are not alone.Sometimes I look at people and wonder why we all try to pretend we are doing ok.
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Yes I have the same with my in-laws
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That’s a very good description of what it’s like for me too
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I wish I could say it gets better but 11 years on and I still feel like you describe xx
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Hi Linda,
Thank you for your kind words. I’m having a tough time over this bank holiday period. I can’t stop thinking about Sue and what she went through, and I keep breaking down, she was only just 61 but looked so much younger and was so full of life. It breaks my heart now knowing that my new grandson will never really know her. The loneliness I feel now is suffocating, and I’m struggling to find a purpose in life. I know through chats on this forum that many if not all have the same experiences, it’s just so hard to keep moving forward. Dave
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@Dave2 I’m thinking of you. I can relate to your pain of Sue not being here to meet your grandson. Due to living overseas and covid restrictions, my husband never got to meet our only grandchild, who is now 2 1/2. It totally breaks my heart that the only interaction he had was via Skype. After my husband passed my grandson continually asked “where’s granddad?” We have told him granddad has gone on holiday as he is far to young to understand. I am presently in UK and watching my grandson breaks my heart knowing that my husband never got to have the cuddle he was so looking forward to. It really is so hard and I feel your pain. Please look after yourself and I hope you know that we are here for you. x
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Your words are so true, people don’t understand if they have not been through what u r going through. & i Iike what u said it will happen 2 them.
People use 2 ask me if I was lonely, I said no, then I realised I was very lonely not for people, but for my lovely husband. & I’m Laughing on the out side, but crying on in the inside. & it’s been 5 years now, since I live my mate, my husband.
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Thanks for all your kind words and support.Bank holidays are tough.You feel as though you are the only person not enjoying it. Good to know I am not alone feeling like this 
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