Yes Carol 9 music and songs are another long term heartbreaker, I do like hearing our old songs and the memories they bring but I still do end up in tears
It’s a comfort to hear that you and others feel sad seeing couples hand in hand as I thought that was just me being bitter
Hugs xx
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@Angiejo2 your words express exactly how I feel. I’m doing my best to plod on but I too am just existing and find no joy in anything and have no fear of death, even thought death was my biggest fear when my husband was alive which, as a cancer survivor feels an awful thing to say but he was the reason I fought it with every fibre of my being. How cruel that after all that and him being my rock throughout he should be suddenly and unexpectedly taken from me. I used to love waking up in the morning with a whole day of possibilities stretching ahead of us, now I dread facing another day without my best friend in life. All these sunny days bring no joy to me either and I can’t even think of the future. It’s just too painful. Sending peace and kind thoughts to all in this unwanted new reality x
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This site definitely helps because we are all going through the same thing and nobody can really understand unless they’ve been through it, it really helps knowing your not alone and others are going through the same rollercoaster of emotions x
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That’s right Tony it does help to know that it’s not only me that has these thoughts and feelings
I don’t have any friends or family that have been through losing a partner so suddenly or too early in life (52) so D much as they care they don’t really get the loneliness and also the bitterness it’s can create
Hugs x
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I would walk down the street with my husband and as I held his hand he would always pretend to limp and be silly. It always made me laugh. I don’t think he liked showing affection out doors. I will love him forever x
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Yes love for our loved ones doesn’t die with them but we are left adoring their memories. It is so hard. Hugs to you.
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I think about my memories and I get this sudden surge of fear and anxiety because he isn’t here. Does anyone else feel like this x
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Hi Nel, yes all the time, hugs x
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Hi Nel
I agree with you.
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Hi Nel,
Even after three and a half years I just suddenly realise I won’t be seeing my husband ever again and panic sets in, I have to breathe deeply and try and distract myself 
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Hi, not selfish at all, it’s our reality. All our hopes and dreams have been taken from us but that doesn’t stop us wishing our partners were still with us to live those dreams. Nor should it stop us from, eventually, building our own dreams, new dreams for our new life. It takes time to build a new life, even accepting that we must as it feels like letting go. It isn’t, we move forward holding on to the memory of our loved one. I was in the Lake District last week with a group of widows/ers from Embark2, some like me, berieved for some time, other berieved less than 12 months. The support and friendship offered by the group as a whole throughout the week gave us all confidence that we can face a future of holidays without the guilt, enjoy them, even look forward to them and allowed ourselves to laugh with gusto.
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Me too. It seems like a normal thing to do. I feel like I’m also grieving for the life we’ve lost, the life he should have had and everything he’s missed out on and our shattered dreams. It is the little things. Catching up and just chatting at the end of the day, holding hands, looking at the stars and moon. Standing in the garden at this time of year bat spotting… It’s the small things that are the most precious and I feel like we grieve for our special moments together along with our loved one.
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Yes definitely feel the anxiety building when I start thinking of all the good times we had and knowing there won’t be anymore xx
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I was married to my wonderful husband for 59 years but lost him 8 weeks ago,my life has changed from then forever
He was my best friend my soulmate Although I have a very caring and supportive family no one can give me what I long for my husband back with me.
I know deep down I have got to get up and carry on without him I a truly struggling it’s what he would had wanted me to do. We lost our beloved dog a few months ago which was for both of us a great loss but losing my husband is just unbearable.
Should I think of maybe getting a rescue dog just don’t know!!!
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It’s such early days for you and something we never got used to (not for me anyway) I have two little dogs who are 4 now and I love them to bits they make me smile everyday but I know one day they to will leave me and I’ll be heartbroken all over again and for that reason I wouldn’t get any more I can’t put myself through anymore heartache I’m lost so much already. But you do what’s right for you if getting a dog helps you then do it .
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I am seriously considering getting a small dog but I can’t make up my mind. Christmas has started to loom for me. My husband of 54 years died in December 2020 and I know I will never enjoy Christmas again. The first Christmas was hell and last year not much better. Waking up alone on Christmas Day just doesn’t seem right. Good wishes to all.
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Do it Carol. Smudge is the best thing I have done since my husband died. He is funny cute silly gets me out of the house kisses up my tears and makes me smile. He is a warm hug in a sea of despair. He cuddles up at night and is an utter delight. He is the new man in my life. He is a little yorkie and I wouldn’t be without him. I only have odd socks in the house but such a small price to pay. ADO IT xxxx
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Nel, thank you. You certainly make me feel as though I must do it. I discussed it with my son tonight and he feels just like you. He has a labradoodle which I adore but I would have to get a much smaller dog as I couldn’t walk a bigger one. Thank you, you certainly encouraged me. I am dreading the next few months with our 56th wedding anniversary and Christmas looming. Big hugs to you and everyone.
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I was married to my wife Sue for 37 wonderful years, she died in July this year after a valiant and brave battle with ovarian cancer, she was just 61 and I’m 62. I feel like my life has ended, we had made lots of travel plans for this year, but none materialised due to hospital time. I still go out and try to keep going, I put on a brave face but my heart hurts all the time when I see other couples holding hands as we used to walking along the beach in Bude. My daughter and son in law and new grandson have stayed with me for a while to help, and that’s been great, but now they’ve returned home the loneliness is suffocating. I’ve made plans to go on holiday with them next month abroad, as nice as that is it won’t be the same without Sue at my side.
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I also feel like this since my husband passed feels like I could of wrote this it’s exactly what I’m feeling missing everything that we had planned now our kids are adults such a waste life is so cruel 
I
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