Such early days since July ! We were lucky as I was 70 when I lost my hubby to cancer and we had 10 years of retirement albeit interrupted by illness . There is NO good time however and 3 years on Miss him every day ! Can’t say you will get over it - we never do but you will eventually accept she is gone and the sadness will soften and you will have some good days . However at present take an hour at a time and reach out to friends when you need to talk and family . Don’t be afraid to go out alone if just for a walk as fresh air is soo enriching . Sending caring and understanding thoughts on your journey 
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You are not selfish, like me your future has been taken from you. My husband died 8 months before his retirement and I feel just like you. All my friends are retiring and going out yo fulfil their dreams. This hurts so badly. I feel as if I’m in the centre of the world and live is going on around me and I’m no longer included.
Have you contacted Cruse support for counselling? This is also a good web site.
Thinking of you xx
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Hi Carol9
Strangely enough Christmas thoughts popped into my head yesterday.
My husband died on December 21st last year, and last Christmas was awful.
We loved Christmas, waking up on Christmas Day together, and the excitement of last minute present wrapping on Christmas Eve etc.
Now I feel I can never enjoy it again.
I’ve started having panic attacks too, and losing confidence just recently.
I feel that the support from friends and family has greatly reduced.
The loneliness really is hard to cope with, even if busy in the day, it’s the early mornings and long evenings that are worse.
Try to put on a brave face, as no one really understands and don’t want to be miserable among people.
Thank you everyone for reading this and my thoughts are with you all.
X
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Hi Anne
Like you I used to love Christmas but no more. Ian passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in June 2021 and he always put up the tree and decorations and so last year we had none.
It’s been 14 months now and support and understanding from friends and family has definitely diminished! It’s as if I’ve had a year, enough is enough and so get on with it. The trouble is Ian was my life and so what am I meant to get on with!!!
You’re so right when you say the loneliness is the worse; an empty and silent house is all that awaits at the beginning and end of each day.
I try and smile but it’s only on the surface and my daughter told me a few weeks ago that I wasn’t fooling anyone.
Sorry I’m not more positive but after 14 months I still can’t see a way out of this lonely life. Hopefully you can,
X Julie
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My husband died1st December 2020 so this will be my third Christmas alone and I find myself dreading it just as much as the first time, I just see it as a time I have to get through and January will soon be here. I am luckier that many people as I have four children and 11 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren children and I see them all over the Christmas period but still I’m alone. I think I am full of self pity and I must buck myself up. It’s a work I progress. Love and hugs to all.
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Hi Dave
I’m pleased you are off on holiday with your daughter and family even though it won’t be the same without Sue. My son and daughter in law live in Spain along with my four year old granddaughter and in fact I’m flying out there on Sunday for two weeks to look after her.
It is something for you to look forward to and it will be lovely spending more time with your new grandson.
Take care as it is still such early days for you so don’t expect too much of yourself,
X Julie
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Misprint,
18 months on I feel exactly like you. I lost my wife of 43 years when she did not wake up one morning. No goodbyes, no illness either. Just did not wake up. You are describing my feelings exactly, and you are certainly not alone min this.
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Hi just been out with daughter and grandkids for a few hours . I seen a lot of " old" couples walking hand in hand . I didn’t feel jealous or envious . I felt sad . And was thinking to myself . One of you’s will one day be without your partner and how sad and how will you cope . What is wrong with me . Why am I thinking like this . Have I totaly lost the plot . I should of just enjoyed the time with family . I know my life will never be the same . The happy life I had gone . I miss and love my hubby more and more each day . And I feel so sad that other people are without there true love . And also that other people will eventually be left without there true love . Thinking of you all . Xtake carex
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Thank you for your kind wordsAt the moment I just can’t make my mind regards fostering a dog so afraid it may be a mistake, having always had pedigree puppies in the past.
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Broken2222
I don’t think anything is the matter with you. I think we can all relate to how you feel. Like you I feel I love and miss my husband more with every passing day and I trust my husband knew his much I adored him. Best wishes to you.
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I cannot add anything else to what you have all written other than I feel exactly the same. Sendings hugs xx
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Hi AnneC I am also having panic attacks, and find it hard to walk round to the bus stop, once I’m on bus and out I am okay, but I walk with a stick and I feel very vulnerable, it’s so quiet round there, but near woods, i have found the panic attacks start if there are too many people, I feel overwhelmed, sending you a hug, thought it was just me
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Like all of you on here have said, I miss my life with Ian and the future we should have had together more and more.
I’ve tried to explain this to friends and family but it falls on deaf ears and I’m told to move and/or get professional counselling. Why? I know what is the cause of my tears, loneliness and heartbreak and that nothing I do can ever bring him and our life together back.
I’m sat in one of our favourite places writing this and oh how I just wish he was with me……
Take care,
X Julie
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Hi Trixie, unless someone is going through this pain, they cannot understand, and we cannot just move on! We miss our old life, our soulmate, and even ourselves, I long to hear myself laughing again, I long to wake up and feel Joy, hope sitting there brings you some comfort, sending a hug x
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Thank you Caz. It does bring me a lot of comfort sitting here but close family just want me to stop and sit at home on my own. Why?
Returning your hug, x Julie
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Because Julie they just don’t get it, it was my Birthday Sunday, and on the Saturday, I went to a place we’re I have scattered some of Richards ashes, I sat on the bench near the water, and spoke to him, and I could feel him near, it was a real comfort, but if you tell others they look at you like you have lost the plot! Some seem to think it’s morbid, or your not moving on! I lost my youngest son 18 years ago, and so many people knew how I should cope, move on, get over it! I could have screamed, we cannot tell others, it is our feelings, emotions, love, pain, heartache, sorrow, I learnt then, to do it my way, at my own speed, in my own time, just follow your own path, he was your Special person, do whatever is right for you, take care x
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No u r not alone, I call u a living hell. X
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Meant a living hell.
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Totally understandable feeling like that And it’s a fact we’re all going up there one day,I also take comfort now knowing my partner Joanne wasn’t in any great pain towards the end And there is nobody to blame which must be horrendous for some people because you’d be more bitter and angry for the rest of your life,I can think about it a bit more practically now but it takes a long time x
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Caz6
I so agree with you that we must do everything our way. No one can tell us how we were supposed to feel.
No one can really know how we feel and we are all doing our best and we know our lives will never be the same whatever anyone says.
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