Barbara61
Hello. Im pleased if I gave you some hope. I do have a couple of anniversaries coming up which I am not looking forward to. Our 56th wedding anniversary is next month, the second since his death and Christmas will be the 3rd without him as he died December 2020. I will try to remember all the happy anniversaries but I’m not sure I will succeed, I guess anniversaries will always be difficult. I hope the anniversary of your husband’s death is not too difficult. I spent last year with my youngest son having lunch and I did survive it. Christmas will always be the worst and I have heard others say that. Best wishes and hugs to you.
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I found Christmas difficult last year just went through the motions and did as little as possible with cards presents etc. Thought this one might be different but I think it’ll just be the same to be honest. Just can’t be bothered with it all and the Christmas stuff is in the shops already !!!
Hope you get through your upcoming anniversaries as well as you can.
Sending a hug to you xx
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I’m dreading Christmas this year
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Tony 7
I’m sorry to hear that, I don’t think most people who are grieving are looking forward to Christmas. I think the worse thing is that it lasts so long these days and all we are thinking about is how much we miss our loved ones. It is a very sad time. Hugs to you.
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Spot on. I lost my wife three months ago and feel exactly as you do. The ‘me’ I was has gone too. I need to find the new me, my new life - but I don’t want to. I only want my old ‘me’ but I know that’s not possible. I feel trapped. My wife made me promise I would never do anything stupid and would live my life to the full. She knew I would never break a promise to her so in effect I have been sentenced to life. It’s so hard
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Hi Carol, thank you for your kind words. Xx
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You are very welcomex
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Hi i feel exactly the same i lost my wife Sheila in February and i miss her so much. Like yourself we used to do everything together, days out, holidays and walking hand in hand. I am absolutely heartbroken and just existing not living it’s so difficult at the moment, i am just taking one day at a time.
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Exactly how I feel
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My husband died December 2020, aged 54 too.
It was so quick from the beginning of his illness, then going into hospital.
Although I try to enjoy life, we have a 15 year old son,
I feel so sad.
We go on holiday, days out. It is the times I am alone that are hard.
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Ste1
I found myself feeling just like you. Now 21 months later I am feeling marginally better but life is still tough. I am hoping things will slowly improve but I know I will never be really happy without my darling husband, big hugs.
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Hi Carol thanks for your reply, i know it’s going to take time but i just feel lost at the moment. Sheila was my life and still is. xxx
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Hi , I was at my brothers funeral yesterday . My hubby should of been here to help me . Everything in my life is wrong now . The pain I feel him not being here with me is horrendous . I can’t see it ever getting any easier or me managing to live a life without him . I am just exsisting each day and waiting for the day I can be reunited with him . I put an act on with family and at work . Only on this site I can put my true feelings . I think only people who have lost there partner . There world . There life . Can understand . ALL xtake carex
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@Broken2222 I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you and I so wish there were words to comfort you during this awful journey of utter grief. Thinking of you and sending you a big hug. xx
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Hi , thank you . Just knowing other people understand does help . I tried to talk to my sisters , but thankfully they don’t get it . They went home with there partners . I went to the house and sat alone . I know I have my adult children . But it is so hard for them as well . And the last thing they need is my grief as well as there own . Sending you a hug . Xtake carex
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Hi solost . Thank you and a hug back . It’s the kindness on this site that helps me to keep going . X take care x
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Hi . So it was my 60 birthday on Monday . I told everyone I didn’t want or need a fuss . Just another day to get through . Thursday my brothers funeral . Very hard day . Yesterday my sisters and there partners turned up at my house with banners with my pictures on balloons . Party food and birthday cake . As a surprise . I really didnt want it . I tried so hard . But had to keep going out the back to stop the tears . I couldn’t eat anything . Couldn’t enjoy anything . Why did they not listen to me .one of them seen me crying . I told them I have built a wall in front of me . Only way I can cope . But the wall has come crashing down . My hubby should of been there with me .when they went . I was in floods of tears . My son ended up crying as well . I have cried all night .and still crying now . Was I being ungrateful , horrible, selfish. Now I have guilt as well as every other emotion . If they had only listened to me . Nothing is good or nice or happy without my hubby . I felt like I had coped since hubby died and was managing . Now I really don’t want to go on . Xtake carex
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Totally understandable we all put on a painted smile,it doesn’t matter where you go or what you do when you come home to an empty house it hits, it feels like life has gone from colour to black and white x
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Hi . Yes I manage to let people think I’m doing ok . But really I struggle all the time . This isn’t a life anymore. Never will be. My life was my hubby. Now nothing . I’m nothing . Thank you for your reply . It does help . Xtake carex
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