So very sorry x
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I have relived the day he died and the following 5 weeks until we held the funeral, so much, now I try hard not to think about that day and those weeks, I get too upset. I was totally floored and heartbroken, his friends and family were in shock, no idea how we all got through it. He was a face in our town, and well liked.
I consciously attempt to think about something else and the happy, funny times we enjoyed together. I will think about it again on the 1st anniversary when I will allow myself to have a meltdown.
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I try to block my mind yo that last week when my husband deteriorated so much hour by hour. The scenes come back to me, but it was a living nightmare. So I try to steer my mind away, blocking the scenes. It’s very hard but that and as the weeks pass I think it works. I can’t always stop it bug but I must try.
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That should say 1/05 / 23 my husband passed xx
I lost my wonderful husband 27 days ago and I’m numb and feel so lost. I miss him so much. My heart is broken beyond repair.
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I hear you and feel your pain. I nursed my beautiful husband for 14 weeks. Thats all we had together once he was diagnosed. It’s just so difficult isn’t it. Finding the strength to get up each morning.
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So sorry for your loss.
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“The worst thing is just knowing that you will never be as happy as you were” is exactly what on my mind everyday ever since my angel passed away over 18 months ago 
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So sorry to hear what you are going through.
Sending hugs 
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Sounds so delicious!
Take care xx
So sorry for your loss.
Take care x
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Thank you xxx
Your right it is best not to dwell on the very end but focus on all the happy times before that and after 46 yrs there were many xxxx
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So sorry for your loss, I hope this forum helps you through this difficult period and you find comfort from those of us going through similar, it does help to talk to each other because we all understand what each other are going through sending hugs xxx
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Thinking of you 
Sending a big hug xx
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So very sorry.
Sending a big hug xx
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Worked from home today! You were not where you used to be, at the desk beside mine - missed you so much my love 
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Worked from home again today…the day was so quiet and empty…missed our chats during coffee breaks…missed having lunch together…missed our laughs now and then through the day we shared. I miss you 24/7 my love…so heartbroken you are not here with me
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A few weeks ago I thought I wouldn’t be able to stay home alone at Xmas like all the anniversaries since you’ve gone…I had to be away, anywhere but home! Last couple of weeks, to my surprise I was content just being at home at weekends…a baby step forward I guess…fingers crossed it won’t change so that I won’t need to get away at Xmas…keeping fingers tightly crossed 
My love, thinking that you are always next to me helps so much with the feeling of loneliness! You are here…I just can’t see you that’s all
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Everything you said really hits a chord with me and I know just how you’re feeling. I too find being home alone can be a very dark place, Sometimes without realising it at the time, I can go a day, sometimes longer without actually talking to anyone…texts and emails arent the same are they. Christmas is a particularly hard time for a lot of us and I just dread it. My dear wife passed just a day before Christmas 2020 after nursing her for about 8 months and now find the whole time really difficult. Being in the house alone can be so daunting, no chats, no joking n larking about like we did . I’d just love to be able to sit and reminisce about the time we met, the life we had , couldn;t wait for our next date. Oh life can be so cruel. Hope you continue to have some "better " days. Take care
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