I to can relate to this. I’m dreading Christmas and New Year. To be honest, i dread every morning, when i wake up to another day without my wonderful husband. He will be gone exactly 2 months on Christmas day. I understand the loneliness of not speaking to someone all day and as you say,texting or emailing are not the same. I miss tge laughing and conversations we would have. He was my best friend.
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I feel the same it will be my second Christmas and I feel worse this year than I did last year my family never ask how I am they just think that I’m over it but don’t bother to ask
I to hate the loneliness the evenings are so long
Take care everyone x
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Pam im so sorry. I can understand how you feel. It doesn’t matter who is around you or not. It’s just not who you want it to be. That one precious person you can’t have back. Look after yourself. 
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I can so relate to the comments here. I am now106 days into my new lonely life. I have amazing children and grandchildren and some good friends and i try and do things everyday but there is a such a void such an empty feeling that it physically hurts me .
I lost my husband very suddenly he was here one moment and a cardiac arrest took him away the next. No chance to say goodbye after 49 years.
I can nearly hold it together when im out but today i broke down in m and s seeing all the festive things I usually buy.
Its a tough season to be sad . Wishing everyone to be as brave as you can. I know our husbands, wives and partners would only want us to be happy. Heartsand x
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Sorry your having a difficult time. Life is so different and hard. Take care xx
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Heartstand
2 yrs ive started greif counselling after waiting 9 month on waiting list , he said ive got complicated grief , i go to london Saturday till sunday friend talked me into going but wish i wasnt going because they all got husband’s and will be talking about xmas plans etc , im lucky to have my kids and 4 grandkids but as you all know we got a massive part of us no longer ere but we put a false face on that we ok its exhausting
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My heart goes out to you and everybody who ,at this time of year especially are missing their partners. This is my first time. I lost my best friend my husband on 21st Oct. I’m still raw and feel hollow. There are no decorations or tree. I cant. I only manage to get out of bed,each morning and thats to look after our two furbabies, our 2 cats. We have no children. I say have, had…i cant quite believe he’s gone. Does anyone else sometimes feel its a dream, surreal. I think that I’ll wake up and ive been dreaming and Martin’s still here. People around are lovely, but they’re not my Martin. 
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I understand as ive felt similar in many ways. That absolute disbelief that they’re gone. How can this be? Surely it can’t be true.
The dreams that I have often show my wife there as normal only to wake up heartbroken that she’s not around making a noise in the house.
It’s matter I find of just plodding along day by day and being kind to yourself absolutely. We are going through a bereavement, and if it was a major illness or bad accident ( which I liken it to) then we’d need urgent care and support. It’s that bad I think.
Give yourself kindness
Peter
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Thank you Peter. There are no words are there. I hope you too are kind to yourself and this festive period passes as easily and as kindly as it possibly can for us all.
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It’s so difficult to live without them . I had a fantastic man . I feel for everyone at this time of year
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I can only say yes, a brave face and good luck. Tey and enjoy. Im going to go down to London next week to stay with my daughter and her family for a few days for my non birthday. Ive told my wonderful family here up North I just cant be here. I dont want cards etc this year and I hope they all understand. Im going to try and restart my life more in 2025. Its what my husband would want hed be devestated to see me like this but I cant help it
Heartsand
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I have found getting away to be so helpful much more than I expected. I too intend to start a new life in 2025, I am getting on my self, nearly 66 and I’ve previously wasted so many years I can’t lose more who knows what’s around the corner for any of us. X
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Indeed,
I absolutely agree. I know my lovely Martin would be telling me to live my life,but i can’t, because he was my life. My life is on hold and will be for a very long time. 
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Mine was a Martin too. A good name x Heartsand
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Aww bless…please look after yourself. Sending you 
. X
I get the same feelings that its all a bad dream There;s been occasions when I’ve been out to the shops or somewhere and met someone I’ve not seen for a while and think to myself “Oh, must tell Val who I’ve seen today” and then it hits like a ton of bricks…she’s gone
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I’ve just turned 66 but still feel like a spring chicken so I’m determined to hit 2025 with all the resilience I’ve got. It will only be 6 months since I lost my everything by then but I want to feel some of the weight lift, hold his hand and step into our new future as a team. As someone who’s been widowed twice I know I can’t change what’s happened, only how I deal with it! Xx
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Just come back from Morrisons and as I walked round the corner to our house I had the strongest impression that Bridget was walking towards me. My throat went tight and I had to stop. Her walk, her coat, her smile as she sees me. All an illusion.
These things are bound to happen I’m told. How can it be otherwise after 30 years? Just goes to show how alone you can feel and how much you need them back
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Im going to try my best to try make somekind of life but its so hard i really dont know how to we been together since 17 yr old my husband died at 59 yr old i found him dead at side of our bed , 2yrs later i still see the image every time i walk into our bedroom over and over again this group is nice because someone always liserning and truely know how deverstating it is x
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