Mbg, I am so sorry to hear this. I am finding similar to those family I thought close’ . I really think those supposedly nearest and dearest’ don’t know how to respond, what to say. I haven’t children but their felt indifference to you must be so painful on top of your grief.
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Do we expect too much from people? I don’t know, just saying. Given the horrendous circumstances of bereavement it’s not on anyone’s radar except the bereaved person and we’re not taught to cope with it.
Today’s life is all about living, having a good time, think of yourself, getting stuff to prove your worth it, putting to one side anything that is negative.
Perhaps parents need to get children ready from an early age with the idea of death and how to address the problems when we lose someone we love. Death is all over the media but it’s removed from reality, somewhere else, other.
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I do agree with you, but the death of a spouse/life partner is like no other/ no comparison.
And how can our parents prepare us for that? (Both mine still alive…me, their daughter the one dealing with widowhood!) it’s actually upset me so much some people saying … "I know how you feel…my mum died, my grandmother died, my mate died… "
Sorry - losing your husband/wife/life partner is a loss on a different level .
Love hugs and strength to you all
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I agree with you 100% about differing feelings after losing someone. Through life we seem to accept and expect to lose aunts,uncles grandparents etc and when we do its a big shock and a big loss, but losing your husband/wife is on a whole different level. Nothing compares to the absolute feeling of sadness, grief, hopelessness and the rest of it.
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I couldn’t agree more. 
Life after losing our loved one is so devastating, sad, empty and so lonely
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I am so very sorry xx
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My partner was 58 too, and I am younger. Never imagined that I may have so much of my life ahead on my own. And it breaks my heart all the things he’s missing with his children (and mine) and his grandchildren x
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So very sorry xx
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Morning everyone. May I wish you all a happy New Year as it’s possible to have.
It’s been six months since my beloved Bill passed away. My first Christmas on my own. I think I’ve shed more tears over the past two or three months than I have in my whole life.
I look at the garden and think he’s never going to sit in the summerhouse again 
or sit chatting with me over coffee in a morning . I’m not sure how to get through the next couple days never mind the months. I’ve no family of my own to share feelings with. Sorry, guess I’m feeling sorry for myself, when I know we’re all going through this.
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You are allowed to feel sorry for yourself
I feel the same as you and I have family But even family can be very uncaring
I am 14 months in, and I still feel sorry for myself and look for my husband everywhere
They say try and take each day as it comes
Take care:mending_heart:
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You’ve every right to feel sorry for yourself. The little everyday things we all used to do with our partners are gone…seemingly so insignificant at the time but absolutely priceless now. I’d give the world to sit and chat over a cuppa with Val like we used to, but sadly that pleasure has gone. Lets all hope for brighter,happier days in the New Year. Take care
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I’m concerned now about what to do with the rest of my life. Not something you think about when you have each other. You think life will just go on much the same as usual. Just get older together.
I didn’t lose Bridget suddenly as she deteriorated over years with vascular dementia and the died last year. Still, there’s a space where she should be, keeping me company, being my best friend.
It’s not fair is it. An alone life is lonely after 30 years, growing from a couple who enjoyed all sorts, filling our lives with joy
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So sorry for your loss, its very hard to lose your soulmate, thinking of you at this time, hope you can gain as much comfort from the people on this forum as I have since losing my husband in May 2023, they have kept me sane throughout that time, sending a huge hug and sorry that you have had to join this site xxx
It is so hard and some days it just drags and all you really want is for things to be the way they used to be before, in my case, the cancer that took my husband and in yours the dementia that claimed your wife! Its just so hard and only those who have experienced it know exactly how it feels others are just guessing, sending hugs your way xx
Don’t forget parents too it’s the same, you lose a pearent a part of you dies with the person and let’s be honest the world doesn’t care. If there’s a afterlife it’s going to be better then here.
I do understand that, I lost both my parents within 2 yrs of each other and watched both of them die, it’s an image you never forget. And I ended up being prescribed antidepressants for a number of years. But in my last message I was speaking to Peter about his wife and my husband so had no need to mention parents.
I also watched my husband take his last breath and it was awful. So I hope you can see I do understand what it is like to lose a parent and you always, no matter who you have lost, wish you could turn back time to when they were still here, if only xxx
Thank you for your good wishes and wishing the same back to you.
Please don’t say sorry for feeling sorry for yourself - this is the place where you can pour your heart out and yes, you are right we are all going through the same sad, empty and lonely journey so we do understand exactly what you are feeling.
Sending hugs
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So sorry! I ask myself frequently - Is this what I am going to be doing everyday for the rest of my life and for how many more years?
Life isn’t fair is it!
sending hugs
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Me too. Life in future cant be just an existence
Heartsand x
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I don’t think I can just exist. I just wish the days away x
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