Cathphil
Its so true what you say im same as you ive still got my mum and dad (mum got dementia) ive lost aunts and uncles but losing my husband really hit me hard 2yrs i still cry just about every day its not getting any easier , it definitely chances us i feel on the outside looking in on family and friends lives they all got their own lives so i paint a brave face on for my kids and grandkids and carry on best i can crying behind closed doors or in bath etc , my frieds not really comfortable with my grief , i messaged one of my friends last night saying my grief counselling told me to reach out and tell my friends how bad im feeling … i got no replay x
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Life can be so cruel my mum suffering dementia shes starting to get angry and stubborn especially with my dad some days he looks so drained he will be 90 this year i go every day to help she has started sleeping more , mum only seems to want me and dad there she complains when my sister goes saying no need for her to come which is hurtful because thats not like my mum , i dont know what this year will bring i do know ive told my kids if i get dementia and get to point i carnt look after myself put me in a home and get on with your lives its a heartbreaking disease
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So sorry xx
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It is a horrible disease many people have had it in my family
Stay strong and look after yourself x
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I’m not sure why but today I feel really fed up and lonely. Why is so much made of a new year?
For some it promises all so much but I just see another year of being on my own without my wife and friend.
I’ve moved from grief to grief and loneliness now . There’s only so much you can do by yourself and I found it a struggle just to see a reason to get out of bed this morning.
Much is made of getting an interesting hobby, go out and meet people, etc. But it’s hard to adapt after 30 years of being together. Or am I just feeling sorry for myself? Or do I allow myself my feelings as natural and go with it.
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Having lost my wife just before Xmas and her birthday I know how you feel mate…
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It’s very hard to go out and meet people and find things to do on your own.When you are used to being with your soulmate and doing things with them
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Maybe you are feeling a little sorry for yourself, there always will be someone in the world worse off then you. Also people facing a precarious situation in 25. But life is a challenge and things happen for a reason, I don’t believe in random. To the person who lost people to cancer yes it’s horrible and it’s the last thing you want. But it’s not going to go away and will claim more lives in the future.
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Yes, we are feeling sorry for ourselves. Yes I am one of those. Yes there are people worse off than us but knowing this doesn’t really help our situation. When I know that I can never sit and chat with my husband again: when I know that I can never enjoy a day out with him again - knowing some are in a worse situation doesn’t really help my situation. I am sorry for everyone on this site. All our situations are different. No one knows exactly how we feel because every situation is different. We all deal with things in a different way, but to say, what sounds like, we shouldn’t feel sorry for ourselves because some people are worse off really doesn’t help.
Yes, I agree, some people are in a worse situation but I have to deal with my situation which is missing my husband so much, more than I can put into words.
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I lost my mum and was diagnosed with Myeloma Cancer in a space of a year. It’s not curable but treatable. I still have to deal with a Stem Cell Transplant in 25, not currently working because of this and I couldn’t talk to mum about it or have a hug. I’ve had to deal with it on my own as well as other stuff. My life will be shortened as my doctor told me, but I would hope to be united with my mum quicker as there can’t be anything worse then this world.
I’m sorry for your situation. It must be very difficult for you.
My husband was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2021 and
I have dealt with that and his death on my own as I don’t have any family.
He isn’t the first to be diagnosed with leukaemia and he won’t be the last but that doesn’t make it any easier, so yes, I do feel sorry for myself even though there are many worse off.
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I’m sure there are thousands who have lost someone they love and are grieving in their own particular way. We are all different and have to bare the grief we have as best we can.
To be honest it doesn’t help at all knowing that out there will be someone who’s personal circumstances maybe worse than mine because grief is grief, heartbreak is common and all I can do is to support those like me in this awful situation.
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Thank you for your reply and kindness
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I have to agree with all you say.
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Very true!!
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I agree with all who have said , it doesnt help at all knowing theres worse off happening to others. I know there is but i feel today very flat and apprehensive and i was before my husbands death very lively and confident because we had each other. Now theres a void and im adrift after over 50 years together. We both felt young and happy still and were looking forward to at least another good decade together. Neither sorry do i swallow all happens for a reason. Weve been good people and my family is wrecked at the moment by my husbands sudden unexpected cardiac arrest death. So after 4 months yes i feel grief anger and loneliness in spite of my loving amazing kids and grandchildren and today in particular.
Heartsand x
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@Hearts and
I agree there is a lot that happens in our lives that is outside of our control, and for no particular reason. I’d call that random.
We all just have to deal with what’s happened regardless of how it came to that point.
I know what you mean Pam - whatever we do there is always something (someone) missing that we used to share life with.
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I could have written this. Sending hugs
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It’s like a big hole in your life
Sending hugs x
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