I was married for almost 50 years too. Nearly made it . The celebrations were planned.
I am so sorry for your loss too
I’m a train away from Leeds, would be a comfort to meet up
When I am out shopping, I can’t help feeling envious of couples together. All different thoughts go through my mind:-
*How much time have they left together!
*Do they ever think of what might be waiting around the corner for them!
- I am envious of them doing things together!
*Pleased to see couples happy and doing things together! - Have one of them got a terminal illness!
My mind seems to go into overdrive.
I live i suffolk other wise I would have been nice to meet uo
I often ask the question why am i still here and i look into a lonely future and wish i wasn’t
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Lets see if we can get any others to join us. I live between leeds and harrogate. Where are you. I can easily get into Leeds or Harrogate (an away comfort day)
When this wretched snow clears it will be a comfort to look forward to without having always to put on this brave face as we know how we feel.
Heartsand xx
I say this to my children and grandchildren who are amazing and they get a bit annoyed with me but its how i feel and im a young just turned 70.I could have 20 years and I am so frightened
Heartsand
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@Heartsand @Pooka1968
I’m a short drive and a train ride away from Leeds or could get to Harrogate on trains too. The main road to Harroagate is closed again after the landslip.
Have a friend visiting from Weds for approx a week but after that I’d be interested too.
I would love to meet up, sadly I am to far away in South wales.x
Yes, I am so frightened of the future, I am 66. I cannot see myself having a happy future or a way of making happiness happen. 4 months today since my husband passed. It is still very raw, and have spent the whole morning in tears.
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Me too even though i know crying changes nothing it won’t bring him back
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Yes that is one of the many things I am struggling with having to acknowledge I cannot bring him back. Death is so definate.
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It’s been 14 months since Bridget died and nearly six years since she didn’t recognise me and went into a home.,
The pain has lessened a lot but I feel this makes me unfaithful. I want the rawness of grief to come back to justify how I loved her. Is this normal?
I was talking to someone this morning and it’s so easy just to talk about me, Bridget, the dying, and I feel I’m becoming a bit boring with it all. But it’s represented a long dramatic time in my life so of course I’m going to be returning back it. But I don’t want it to define me. Such a delicate balance in social skills you need when you’ve been through all this😩
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Hi Peter, I know what you mean when you talk of feeling somehow guilty that the pain of losing your wife seems to be easing slightly. I too have these same feelings. On the one hand I’d like the pain to go away but if it did would that mean that I’m over losing the one person I miss so much. I know I’ll never get over the loss though some days I feel just a little more at ease and accepting about things. Definitely a hard one to reconcile. Take care
Yes, the brave face is physically almost sickening’ I find, but that’s the effects of grief on the whole body I suppose. Yes, come the milder weather, would love to meet up with people that understand better than anyone else
I suppose the body cannot take the extreme stress experienced at the very first moment of loss over a long period. If we did we’d probably go mad.
For the first time yesterday I smiled at a pleasant moment we had back in the earlier days. Just silly word games we played when we went camping. Stuff like, rude words beginning with letters of the alphabet.
Such tiny memories that were shared moments between a loving couple.
Why is the happy life destroyed by evil dementia? To be ignored by a women who loved you for 25 years is heartbreaking
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Group just called Grant Harris & Zoe have you heard of Grant Harris hes amazing he does shows all over country
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So thats 3 of us . Lets let the weather improve a little and go for it . Take care and dont slip anyone xxxx
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I know how you are ,I have totally shut myself off now ,not even read this site for at least two weeks ,feels like years ,.the last two days I have had to sort out and clear my dear wife’s clothes to give them away ,
Last year in the storm our house was flooded out and we have been in a rented place,the builders for the insurers are completely useless ,terrible and nothing but trouble.my dear wife passed away and her funeral was just a few days before Christmas,I lost my last year with her having to battle with that lot ,day after day of trouble with them,I have just been broken by having to sort out her clothes to give away ready to move back into our “ home” which I would love to burn down!
Can life get worse ? It’s hard to believe now. My last wish now in life is that my one is going to be extremely short ,next week I move into a house they haven’t finished yet ,and still have to make my will,then I can decide ,what is the point of everything, get up be lonely ,plenty of people around but not the one I spent 35 of loving and still do although she isn’t here any more,no I am sick and tired of this vile cruel life ,I don’t want it anymore,
People say ,there is lots worse off,be grateful for what you have? What nothing anymore,I don’t ask for anything ,there is nothing I want ,no purpose anymore,no I don’t want to meet someone else ,why would I? In my heart my wife is irreplaceable,.our two dogs are old ,when they go it’s time for me to ,perhaps I will get peace then . Am I alone ? No,I read on the site all the letters same as me but different words maybe ,we get up ,toil through another miserable day trying to find a few minutes of brief joy that is replaced by the same grief again ,
.sometimes I wish I had never met my wife
Then I wouldn’t feel like this ,but then I know I wouldn’t have had 35 years of her love given to me every day ,so what do I do ?
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What you’ve written resonates with me a lot.
Oh how I’ve often thought would it have been better to have hated each other instead of loving and losing? But even grief in hate is complicated I’m told.,
The thing I miss is the structures to the day. It was so simple before. Each had an idea of what to do even if it wasn’t much, just company. I tend to sleep too much. I hope that will change as I don’t want to waste time.
You ask, what will I do? I tend to think that we just adapt very slowly. Doing stuff on my own can be either ok or downright miserable but I need to be kind to myself because there’s not many out there that will do that to me.
Take care
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