Thank you @JerryH Yes, it’s exhausting to entertain 5 more people when you are trying to grieve in peace but I am grateful for their pleasant company. The pain and sadness I feel inside will forever exist and it certainly helps to know I am not alone - thank you.
All best for New Year’s Eve X
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Said goodbye to 2023 last night with deepest sadness now beginning 2024 with hopes and positivity- living a new norm getting through each day doing the normal things while grieving on the inside. (My love, you will always be in my heart, mind and soul I love you and miss you so much 
my beautiful angel forever )
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Hi @Angel1309
Wishing you good health for 2024.
I sat up watched the fireworks saw in 2024.
Really had a strange dream in which my husband was in for a second this morning i thought he was still here. Never had a dream with him in it before. Not sure what that means but taking it as a sign from him he is still around.
My 1st New Year without
Take care Lynne 
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Hi @Galaxy75 How lovely that your husband appeared in your dream on such a special night. He must surely still be around and wanting to comfort you which is truly beautiful - I am really happy for you to have such comforting start of the 2024 
Sending best wishes & love X
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@Galaxy75 How god was that your husband appearing in your dream. I have had quite a few over the past year. I always wake up in a more positive frame of mind because I know he is still watching over me. Christmas was strange on my own. Didn’t really mind too much as it was always just the two of us for Christmas. Only downside, I haven’t been out of the house for 10 days and I can feel the agoraphobia returning. I am determined to get out today, even if it is only for 10 minutes. Sending best wishes for 2024, and just remember, even though we may move forward a step at a time, our partners will always be in our hearts and minds…xxx
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Had family over for a few days and spent New Year’s Eve together. Having been totally alone for almost 8 months so to have people around was quite comforting although the feeling of sadness and loneliness still crept up now and then but all in all it was nice to not be alone for a while.
They left this afternoon and the house fell completely silent- I couldn’t bear to stay in so had to make a dash to the gym in the hope of being around people for a bit. Sadly as I was entering the gym I was told it was about to close for the day! Back to square one 
. Hope tomorrow will be a better day!
Hope everyone have had a peaceful day - take care X
Hi @Angel1309
Yes i know same for me over 7 months basically on my own apart for a short stay with a friend for 3 days at the beginning when he first passed away.
Try to keep busy going out during the day so i dont have so much time on my own at home. But going back to a house were no one at home is horrible so quiet lonely it id heartbreaking 
Trying to live this new normal is not easy i too hope for a better tomorrow.
Please take care
Lynne Xx
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Hi Lynne
I think having people around can somehow weaken me when they’ve gone so perhaps I should try being on my own a lot more to keep being strong.
Keeping busy does help distracting from the feeling of sadness and pain for a short while but then to go home to an empty house… it is horrible and heartbreaking indeed!
Hope we can get used to the new normal someday soon!
You too, please take good care X
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Have started living the new normal life since 1 Jan, going about doing the usual things daily while feeling deeply sad inside it’s been sort of okay, bearable. This morning stayed in and felt calm and positive, did some clearing out and tidying up and went grocery shopping - then it started to hit me as we used to go grocery shopping together every week! Came home and everything went downhill from there- started to feel hopeless again and kept asking myself what’s the point of this.
This is so hard but I am hoping and praying for a better day tomorrow….and another day….for the next …xx years till my time comes.
Hope everyone has had peaceful 2024 days so far X
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Hi @ Angel1309
I know exactly what you are going through.
Managed Christmas and New Year Days on my own it wasn’t easy but got through it.
Trying my best to act normal and get through the last few days. Trying to keep busy and i have managed this but last year was hard the week before Christmas my mum had bad fall and in hospital. She has dementia and now time to look at long term Care.
So mum now in care home and i am now kept extra busy as have finances and clearing of her house to sort out. But i am still grieving loss if my husband 7 months ago so my anxiety and feelings are all over the place.
I hope and pray 
it gets better my year last year and this year 2024 has not been a good start.
Wishing you all the best and good health for this new year ahead
Take care
Lynne Xx
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The grief just creeps up on you doesn’t it? You can be doing normal things and feel like you are coping, then bang something happens and it’s back and the tears come, I’m thinking this is my new normal. Keep strong, sending love x
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Hi Lynne
I am so sorry for what happened to your mum. It’s the last thing you need on top of your grief for your beloved husband. I’m glad you managed to get through Christmas and NY okay. 2023 was horrendous for us all and although the start of 204 hasn’t been good but I hope it will gradually get better.
You must be proud of yourself to have done so much in such a short period of time sorting out your mum’s situation while still grieving.
Please take good care of yourself.
All best for 2024 X
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Yes, grief creeps up on you without any warning - so cruel - we have to be on guard 24/7.
Sending love & strength to everyone X
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Hi @Angel1309
Thanks for your support and kind words.
I think at the moment on auto pilot having to deal with everything and im sure once it is over it will be overwhelming and hit me.
Not great at the moment but maybe once everything sorted i can take a break away for a few days to recharge.
Lynne Xx
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Hi Lynne
Not at all we are all here to listen and support each other.
I can totally understand, that usually happens!
Please keep strong & positive X
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5th day of living the new normal life, went to the gym this morning then did a bit of shopping, had lunch - not feeling too bad seeing people around but once got home started feeling lonely again , horrible . This sadness is always there deep inside, it’s constant and only surfaces when the feeling of emptiness and loneliness sets in then it becomes unbearable .
The pattern of the new normal seems to be mornings full of hope and afternoons filled with sorrow - this is so hard to get through each day not knowing how long it’s going to last my guess is probably for the rest of my life.
(My angel, I love and miss you so much everyday more than I can say - I hope you are happy and free from any pain and suffering wherever you are. Love you always ).
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Hi @Angel1309
Yes i know what you mean.
I dont like staying at home during the day i just dont want to anymore. I go out everday get bus anywhere shops library garden centre just to be around people.
But when i get back home it hits me so quiet lonely hate bring in house on my own. It has been 7 months still no easier the thought of another 20 years of this life is so sad.
My husband died suddenly unexpectedly no prior illness at 63 at home.
I have joined some new groups to meet people as my husband and i did everything together so need for friends.
I have a couple but they live some way away from me do only speak on phone
I hope wherever they are that they are being looked after loved and happy i would hate to think they are sad and upset like we now find ourselves
Take care
Lynne Xx
Hi Lynne
We went through quite similar situation my angel passed suddenly as well no prior illness- he had a heart attack while at work at 61. We too did everything together and hardly ever went out with friends. I have a very good friend who has been there me for the past 8 months which I am forever grateful to her. We’ve known each other since we were students and she knew my husband well so I can talk to her regularly about him which helps enormously.
I might try to get on a bus and go places, a sightseeing bus just to stay out longer and won’t come back home too early so to avoid that horrible feeling of emptiness and loneliness.
Sending love and strength X
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Hi @ Angel1309
It is good if you have a friend to talk to.
My friend phones me twice a week as she lives in another town about 2hrs by train.
She has a husband but i visited and stayed for a few days in August and i saw her just before Christmas for an overnight stay.
I have just joined the Jolly Dollies group and i have a meeting next week for lunch.
Hope to get back to volunteering soon which will get me out of the house too.
Lynne Xx
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I was the exact same,I’ve walked out twice where I couldnt bare listening to it. I hope you find strength for tomorrow. Sharon.
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