@Jol same here, 8+ months in and still very painful and ever so lonely - horrendous 
I hope Friday will go smoothly and not too painful for you, very best wishes x
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Just read your post and wanted to say please push on to volunteer. My husband died coming up to three years now and after the first six months when I knew I just had to do something to take up my time and I volunteer at a local community hub/food bank and not to be over dramatic I think it saved me. No one knew my circumstances and in some ways it was a great leveller. Gradually
my story came out and being support workers they all understood, we talked
and then had to deal with people who had all sorts of people needing help. So for two days a week I work alongside a great bunch of people who all look out for one another.
So please if you’re thinking of volunteering in whatever field give it a go,
Best wishes
Georgina
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@Ilovehorses
I too have my husbands ashes at home and have no idea what and when I can bare to scatter them. It feels like the very last part of him.
I can sympathise with your dilemma it’s so hard isnt it, sending love x
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I haven’t even collected them yet. And it’s almost 3 months since his funeral.
I know where they should be scattered and I’d like some jewellery too.
But I just can’t bring myself to get them…
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Thank you so much Georgina for your encouraging message. So comforting to know that volunteering helped you the way it did. I will certainly push on with finding some where to volunteer soon.
All best X
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I had a pendant made for myself and Johns sister made the same way. It was nice to wear it for our son’s wedding just 3 months after we lost him. It was like he was beside me all that day. I’ve worn it ever since so part of him goes with me everywhere. It truly does make a difference 
Georgina
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I wasn’t allowed my fiancé ashes his daughter kept them and her and her mum his ex wife didn’t allow me to say goodbye shouldn’t really say this but hate them all to be honest all jealous and tainted family I miss him loads he came to visit me through my daughter last Saturday night so I’m going to see a medium a s need answers so sorry for all your losses xx
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@Angel1309 thank you my love . I am working two days before to keep me occupied. These firsts are going to be difficult for us all .
I’m Plymouth uk hun we have several here x and yes so sad he was only 51 I miss him every single day
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I am Portsmouth was thinking the same
Thankyou x yes I hope there is I’m hoping when my time is here tina there with open arms to grasp me then we can start our new journey again god it’s painful xx hope your little better today
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Friday is a usual day-off and every week since my angel passed away 8+ months ago it’s been too lonely and depressing to stay in so I have been pounding the streets every Friday. Today, to my surprise I didn’t feel the need get out of the house so sat and relaxed in the garden for a long while - one positive step forward thanks to the beautiful sunny weather 
. Although I started to feel empty and lonely again later on but at least it was much later in the evening rather than early afternoon as before. Praying for 
for the bright and sunny weather to stay so that I can stay in more. It’s so tiring to have to go out just for the sake of not having to be in. I will be so grateful for another day like this - another step forward every week, fingers crossed 
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Well done mine been a roller costa day ok this morning then something triggered me sent me back to being sad an lonely x
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Hi @ Angel1309
Im like yourself have found i didnt like being in the house and just had to go out anywhere just to avoid home over the last 8 months i can just about cope with evenings at home but days are different.
I guess trying to like my own company is taking some doing hopefully it will get better soon.
Tomorrow i am planning on staying at home enjoy the garden tidy the garage anything to help me find the courage to keep going.
Take care
Lynne x
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That is exactly how I feel, I lost my husband of 47 years on May 1st 2023, he was 68yrs old,still a lot of life to live if not for the cancer, he had 5mths from diagnosis, chemotherapy did not work for him.
I feel at times so angry at that horrible disease for depriving us of our retirement together, I officially retired as of 22/04/23, my husband got 2 years of his retirement, life can be so cruel!!!
Coming into this new year without him has been even harder than the first 7 mths without him in 2023.
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I no how you feel my wife Tina was in hospital 12 months leukaemia told there was no more they can do sent us home in 8.12.23 Tina made it until 15.12.23 just turned 60 11.11.63 miss tina so so much. To day I feel so down want to join Tina so so lonely no one to talk to no one to hold hands no more cuddle no more kissing so so lost there was so much we had to do an now robbed x
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Hi @Georgi
So sorry to here of your loss.
My husband was 63 and passed away suddenly unexpectedly 8 months ago. He had justvtaken early retirement in Aug 22 so he had 10months of his retirement and i just retired same time.
We were meant to spend our retirement together travel do things we planned bit it was not to be.
I have managed to get through these last 8 months but really dont know how after 37 years more than half my life together now finding life on my own so strange.
This year has been trying thought was doing so well but the wave of grief hits when you least expect but you just need to keep going.
Life is precious we dont know how long each of us has but i know i have to make the most of my time left helping others so i will go back to my volunteering with MacMillian next month.
Please take care look after yourself 
be strong
Lynne x
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It’s horrid sat her looking at Tina photo talking I hope tia listens it’s horrid cooking well I’m not easy meals did go to hospice this week one to one surpose to go to day did not sat here bowling me eyes out ask me self why tina is no more pain. X but
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