I go to the cemetery every weekend and yesterday I went as usual. Making sure everything was in order, I filled up the petrol, air on all four tires got some flowers, Tulips this week and off I went. Then, suddenly just less than 10 minutes before I reached the cemetery there were some loud noises coming from the back of the car, I was worried but kept going thinking it was something rattling in the boot or something lose underneath. When I got there OMG I had a flat tire!
How could that be - I only filled the tires just before setting off 20 minutes ago.
There I was in the middle of this enormous park lawn cemetery hardly anyone there - what to do how would the AA know exactly where I was?
Then a kind gentleman who was visiting the grave nearby came to the rescue and put the spare tire on for me - I was ever so grateful to happen to be around such kind human being - and couldn’t thank him enough 
.
As soon as I reached my angel’s grave I bursted into tears, uncontrollably - telling my angel I was so lost and helpless without him around, telling him this was my life, now and forever sad, alone, empty and so scary without him.
Thinking back I was fortunate that he was around yesterday because I went a little later than usual - I used to go earlier and there was no one else there but me alone and I used to get anxious and a little scared of being alone there.
I am going to get a best box of biscuits and keep it in the car and if I ever see that gentleman in the cemetery again it’ll be for him to thank him for his kindness.
I am so grateful to be surrounded by supportive family, friends, colleagues and even a random stranger - thank you so much to everyone
Best wishes to everyone x
Yes, music is certainly good for the soul!
So soothing x
Bless ya heart 
I use to play a mandolin at school and my fella was starting to teach me how to DJ but I’m not patient enough bless my angels heart
Hi i lost my husband 14 months ago and I am still
trying to get my life back on track but still struggling i just miss him so much lost my friends when david got poorly just feeling alone don’t go out just stay in i just wish to meet people who would like to get together and meet up and make new friends and try to help each other in our grief lots of love xxx
Hi @Wendyx
Like yourself i am finding it difficult to make new friends. My husband and i did everything together now 8 months on i feel on my own. No family close by and a couple of friends who dont stay close so only speak on the phone but they are a couple and i find now dont here from them do much. I understand they have there own lives to get on with just as i have now.
But its lonely and if i dont go out or speak to people i would see no one.
I have tried joined book club exercise class and now planning on volunteering.
But like you saw you feel so alone.
I have also joined the Jolly Dollies group dont know if you have one locally you can join to meet others like yourself who have lost their husband.
Helping each other by talking here too.
Take care
Lynne
I know the feeling, 9 months in I am still going back and forth one day okay two days wobbly 
. This lonely life is so hard to bear, isn’t it? Here is the place we can post to share our pains and support one another- and of course to meet people and make new friends would be such great comfort.
Take good care xx
I know the feeling ladies nearly 7 months in and I had the biggest meltdown this morning not wanting to be here anymore and wanting to be with my angel but I’m being selfish as my 2 grown kids don’t need this so I’m calling my gp for help tomorrow medication isn’t the answer but I feel I can’t cope I’m always strong for others but who is actually their for me ?? It’s a Lonely world on my own but I’m meeting a few Friday afternoon we have a Facebook group me for people in Plymouth southwest were me meet for coffee food and nights out if needed my angel loved his music 
and wouldn’t want me to stay in hope this group helps to stay connected
Sending hugs & strength 
That is so true, I lost my husband 9 months ago, but sometimes it feels like yesterday, Just feel so lost and I still expect him to come back - how daft is that
I had a good marriage and a fantastic wife but I wish I could go back an delete any arguments or fallouts we had I regret them so much now that she’s gone and I can never say sorry
Hi @ Bailey2
Dont think like that we all have disagreement with people and family in our lifetimes. Remember the good memories of your marriage and delete any bad ones you think you may have had.
Life is too short move forward and appreciate the good times you shared.
Lynne
Thank you I will try and do that I think my wife would want me to
Hi @ Bailey2
I’m sure your right your wife would want you to remember good times and the love you had for each other 
Take care look after yourself
So sorry for your loss. Not daft at all I can totally resonate with you and I am sure we all can too!
Please take good care of yourself.
Sending hugs and strength xx
Yes we will all get through this together.
Thank you for your support
Big hugs xx
Hi Bailey2, I lost my husband 9 months ago and have been tormenting myself with any arguments we had, like you wishing i could change them, but reading the lovely and supportive messages from everyone, I am going to try and forget the disagreements, as people have said, we can get through this - take care
Does anyone think that looking at photos of your deseased husband or wife makes you feel worse or do you think it helps. Every time I see a photo or a video of my wife I break down but when I don’t look I feel guilty and feel like I should be
Thank you I’m getting a call back from my doctor today and hopefully get the help I need and going out tomorrow to socialise I get where your coming from And I appreciate Any information
Working from home today - feeling so sad, so empty and so lonely 
one of those days
The house is so quiet - life without my angel is so horrible
Hi Bailey2. Yes I constantly look at photos of my husband who I lost almost 5 months ago now. I’m lucky that I remember the good times from each photo and it’s a comfort. I do still get angry with him for leaving me alone to deal with everything but of course he didn’t leave by choice. I went to my GP this morning and we have agreed to halve my dose of antidepressants now, as I feel I’m able to cope better. I’ve just completely redecorated the bedroom to try and remove the bad memories of his illness where I cared for him over the 10 months from diagnosis. It has helped me. I also went out today for quality time with my daughter, something we rarely get to do due to her job as a police detective sergeant, and that too really boosted my mood. I am so lucky to have family and friends nearby who have been so supportive since Philip died in September last year.
Photos of him are a big comfort to me.