Hi i am the same i can not look at my husband photo with out breaking down it’s just so hard maybe in time we will all be able to have our loved ones photo there and cherish them xxx
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I love looking at photos of my husband but cannot watch videos of him yet as hearing his voice would crush me. Hopefully in time I will be able to x
I feel the same, I have Johns photo everywhere and even talk to them too at times. I recently had our wedding video transferred to DVD and hope that one day I’ll be strong enough to watch it and remind myself of a very happy day
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I’ve made an album of all favourite photos of my angel and look at them all the time. Looking at them makes me feel happy as well as sad; happy to see him happy in all photos and sad to think there aren’t going to be any more photos added as he is no more 
I also love looking our holiday photos of us together and again, have mixed feelings: so happy that we both looked so happy together; deeply sad that we are never going to go on holiday together again 
x
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@AnnieG1 i only have one video of my husband. But every time I play it I cry. Just hearing his voice…
I dread the day it “ wears out”.
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@Paddy53 there is a video on my phone of my darling husband talking to our 10 year old twin grandaughters on the day he was taken into hospital and was in resus telling them he would see them the next day. They were very very close. Unfortunately that did not happen as he passed away the next day. I just cannot watch it yet but hopefully I will one day x
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Isn’t it therapeutic gathering his photos together - and even better when all the favourites are in one place X
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Hi! I don’t think you are being selfish at all. You have been through one of the worst things that could happen to a couple, so you deserve a bit of pampering.
I hope you enjoy it and that it helps you. Ann
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@AnnR Thank you. Really hope it helps as I feel as though I am back to square one at the moment. Just cant stop crying. 8 months on and really didnt think it would be this bad but as everyone says until you are in this ‘club’ you dont know how it feels or how you are going to feel. Take care. Ann x
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Hi @ AnnieG1
Yes like yourself 8 months on and i feel im back to square one.
No family close and friends stay 3hrs away so they phone every week.
Was hoping to volunteer to get out more but since i’m not feeling great and going backwards not sure.
Take care hopefully have a good day
Lynne 
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Some of my friends and family gathered around me when my wife died 7 months ago but now they have backed off I hardly hear from them anymore
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People have their own lives to get on with.
I understand that but even a call once in a while helps as nice to chat
Take care
Lynne
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It’s so tough and even after nearly three years I still get very dark days when I feel like it’s day one. This sadness we are feeling will never leave us but we will learn to live alongside it. Married 44 years to a man who gave me security, love and respect - just taken from me literally in a heart beat when he had a cardiac arrest in bed beside me. How I’ve got to three years on I’ll never know but somehow I have and am determined not to let this grief win. I’m battered and bruised but still going hoping I’ve made my darling John proud.
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I can totally identify with what you said; being together 37 years married 35 years to a man who gave me security love and respect - take from me in a heart beat
except that mine had a cardiac arrest while at work . You must be proud of yourself to have such strength to come this far - I am only 9 month in and struggling one step forward two steps back every week and I’m exhausted and stressed - missing him terribly:broken_heart:
Keeping my fingers crossed I can get as far - life is so meaningless without my angel
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Hi
Yes getting through each day is hard.
Im finding the loneliness quiet no one to have conversation cuddles laughs worse than i did 8 months back
Why is it taken me so long to get used to bring on my own.
Like you i miss him after 37 years together. Everything around here holds memories cant move anything even his ashes are in the bedroom he wants them taken to Fiji were he was born i guess when im stronger i will.
You are correct at this time live is meaningless without them but i will stay strong and carry on
Lynne
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Hi Lynne
Yes it is harder than anything I have ever had to get through
Me too, I am finding it a lot harder to cope with this horrible feeling of loneliness these days than earlier on. I was mistaken that it would get better slowly but now realise I am unwittingly taking so many steps backwards these past weeks - don’t really know what’s happening to me.
37 years is a long time to be together and do everything together - losing our beloved is like losing the other half of ourselves
Please take good care & of course, stay strong 
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@Galaxy75 & @Angel1309 we seem to be at the same stage. We were together 50 years. I’m so lost without him. X
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Thanks
Yes it seems to be a stage.
Was doing fine for a while now seem to be going backwards.
I remember reading somewhere it happens a few months into the grief journey so i think thats whats happening and hopefully we can move forwards.
Time will tell
Lynne Xx
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