sorry you feel this way i lost my wife of 35 years on the 9th of may2021 and every day feels like the first day after she passed it’s awfull but when i close my eyes she’s there always her voice her smell her laughter it’s real enjoy these moments they are as near as can be to her
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That’s terrible, what an unkind daughter she sounds, 20 yrs together, doesn’t she realise that is your home, I really feel for you, what will you do?
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I know the feeling after I lost my sister and going to buy Christmas cards for people. I just couldn’t do it the first time either I had to walk out. Then trying to get a card that just said brother in law and not sister and brother in law. Haven’t to ask in shop hoping I wouldn’t cry. It’s hard
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@StarGate thank you for your kindness . It is good to talk to everyone on here they are lovely and very supportive.
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There is lots of support here, it’s been very reassuring reading all the posts, keep reading x
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So awful for you. What a heartless daughter.
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I’m exactly the same, lost love of my life 3 months ago. Still say we! Still ask him questions. What shall we have for dinner. Everyone still asking almost everyday how I’m doing. Can’t answer because I don’t know I just feel I’m lost. It’s not me it’s nit my life anymore how do I change that so soon? I’ve always been ok having time on my own but it’s a whole different story now because he’s never coming back to me. Wish it was an illness and then you can prepare yourself but suicide is a huge pain to live with.
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Hi @Sososad
Sorry to here of your loss.
Any loss is painful 
although suicide must be even more heartbreaking.
Your loss is 3 months so very early on in this life we now have been left to deal with is very raw.
Take an hour or day at at time to help you get through the days weeks months even years.
It has only been 5 months for me in 2 weeks 6 months. Time moves slowly but it also moves fast i cant believe it has been nearly 6 months. He passed away suddenly unexpectedly no warning spoke to him one minute next he went to bathroom to get ready he took massive blood clot which burst and lead to heart attack only aged 63.
I guess i can only say i exist in this world but everyday i still cry life without him is so lonely being on your own will take time but i know he would want me to try to look after myself and what life i have left.
Take care look after yourself and any help offered from friends and families take.
Lynne x
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My husband passed away on 27 December 2022. He was in hospital last Christmas on end of life care, so didn’t see anyone. This is first Christmas totally on my own. We were married for 51 years and together for 55. Our two children don’t want any contact with me so I miss out buying presents for the grandchildren. The evenings are the worst. No one to cuddle up to, watch tv with, play games or just chat. I started going to a morning pub quiz once a week, a seated keep fit class once a week, craft group every Saturday and a couple of monthly groups. The quiz I started going to two after his passing. I knew within myself that if I didn’t make the effort to go out, I never would. It has been hard and it is only in the last couple of months that I have allowed myself to make friends. I meet up with a very nice lady once a week and we go for a cheap lunch. Have also done 3 coach trips, 1 solo and2 in a group. Have two more planned before Christmas. Again 1 solo and 1 with a friend. It has been hard because I could never leave the house unless my husband was with me. I still have days when I can’t set foot outside the front door but thay are getting fewer. I will never get over the loss, but his final words to me were “you need to make a live for yourself”. He wouldn’t have wanted me at home crying all the time, but it not as easy to do when your heart isn’t in it. I can only hope that as time goes by ut becomes more bearable. My thoughts and prayers go out to everyone. It is not a club we joined by choice, but at some point everyone becomes a member. Take care everyone
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Caw1 I think u are fab. Xx wish I had some of your zeal. Xx
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So very sorry for your loss. Losing our beloved is not just losing someone but losing our whole life, our whole being- life will never be the same again .
Say ‘we’ gives us some comfort that he is still here - say ‘I’ gives us this horrible feeling of loneliness!
Talking to him everyday has helped me ease the pain. I tell him that I am now living my life for both of us - I go out for lunch at weekends for both of us - I do all that we used to do together, for both of us. Doing this everyday has helped me!
Please take good care of yourself
Big hugs xx
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So sorry that you had to be a member of the club! I lost my dearest husband of 35 years and the pain has been unbearable, but to have lost your husband of 51 years, I can’t imagine how much harder that must have been for you - I am so sorry for your loss!
However, I salute you the way you have dealt with grief, sadness and loneliness by keeping yourself super busy and have come so far being out and about socialising - so admirable!
Take care xx
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So sad, so lonely, so empty -mornings, afternoons and nights
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@Juliebobs. Thank you. It has not been an easy process for me to go out. My heart just wants to stay home and never go out again but in my head, I can still hear his final words. So I am doing the best I can for the both of us. I still speak to him everyday, let him know what I have been up to. Take care and look after yourself. As someone said to me, love never dies, so why should grief. It will always be with me, but not so intense as when he first passed. I can’t even think where this last year has gone without him
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Working from home yesterday feeling so alone and lonely.
So happy to go to the office today to be around colleagues.
I went to lunch with a couple of my team, and weirdly, I was feeling so lonely while we were chatting away!
You feel lonely when by yourself & you can also feel lonely while not alone - really? I can’t understand it 
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Did you ever call your partner “my other half” because I think I understand that now. Because they are a part of you and your personality, the one you think of when you shop for food etc, “what would he like for supper etc”. I think that’s why we feel so alone, our partners are no longer our other halves, we are just us!!
I miss my other half so much, it’s a bit part of me to fill. I hope this doesn’t sound too daft, I’m just trying to understand what’s going on. Keep strong out there xx
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Oh yes I’ve had that having Sunday lunch with family and it was lovely but inside I felt half of me wasn’t there. I suppose it’s the size of the massive change in our lives, it will take time to alter it. Goodness knows how much time it will take.
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