Hi @ Pakapa
Hope the weathet holds out this weekend.
Too much rain in Edinburgh thonking of visiting garden centre at easter just to watch the world go by maybe but a plant have a coffee.
Will be strange without them
Take care
Lynne Xx
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@Martin2
Not really I’m sat in the garden balling my eyes out really feeling it today… it’s the first time I’ve sat in our favourite space listening to the birds and how everything else carries on around you… but no one can hear you screaming inside… I used to love my garden but it just seems a huge empty space…
I have my partners old friend arriving for the weekend and I really could do with out it…
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@Pam14
To be honest I think even with friends family ect you still feel very much alone…
I’ve got my partners old friend staying this weekend he can be hard work and drinks a lot… I’m just sat in the garden balling my eyes out it was our very special sanctuary we would sit out there a lot have breakfast lunch and bbqs outside now it’s an empty space with no love and laughter… what are we to do:disappointed_relieved:
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I no just mopping about just watching film Indian bike salt planes Breaking speed limits watched few years back with tina I’m saying the same things then as I am saying now but with no reply crying not going to lie to you I don’t like it being around no one this long weekend don’t help we was a way birthday next week on me own for the first time going to say I hate it thinking what’s the future holds because right now I can’t see one 63 almost our life was going to be growing old together I was robbed as weal are on here
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@Martin2
I feel the same robbed of our lives together…
I’ve come in from the garden it’s too cold now just watching the sunshine through the window and feeling angry that all my old neighbours of 80 years plus are out there laughing and chatting life just isn’t fair
Especially as one of them is a bitter old man who never has a good word to say about anyone just moans all the time… how is that fair and our loved ones aren’t here when they were the most kindest loving people .
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Even in a crowded room you still look for them and they are not there. nobody else in the family understands how you feel because they still have there family around them and I feel just left sitting here with just my thoughts
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@Pam14
You certainly do totally agree… there’s nothing else like the loss of your partner… I thought losing my mum and dad was tough…sending you a virtual hug x
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Last night just before I fell asleep I was talking to my angel saying I wished I could see him again in my dream. I couldn’t believe he was there in my dream staying completely still next to me, so I said ‘do you know how long since I last kissed you?’ He stayed still and said nothing I started kissing him non-stop and this morning I woke up feeling so loved and comforted. Is this the power of the subconscious mind because I was so desperate to see him so much…or is he really around and watching over me?…I wonder! I guess we’ll never know! Whatever it is I am just so grateful for his presence, I miss you so much my angel 
.
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No sleep at all weekends not bad face book two years back opened up my tina driving our new coach to yard I was filming God I’m a mess now xx
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In garden relaxing sun out postive right now see if it lasts hope your all trying to be busy
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Same here, reading in the sunshine now. I decided to strip wallpaper this morning, then my dog nagged me to take her out, thank God for her. Ended up at a local arboretum then I went in the pub and sat outside with a drink. Until a big party sat next to me and started asking if they could take the chairs from around my table, thanks for that.
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Bless you least you got out me still in garden thinking shall I get John smith out umm tempting
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Sending big hugs & strength
Please take good care xx
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Such a beautiful and sunny day so did some gardening planting some roses, peony and other perenial on my flower bed and time just flew by. Good weather does make a difference to how we feel!
Let’s hope we see more of sunny days… 
best wishes to everyone x
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Today was a better day I’ve had my ex brother in law staying we had breakfast out, walked my doggie went to the spa then I cooked a roast… it was so nice to be able to cook for someone else and have them appreciate it…
my Chris was so complementary of my cooking I miss that…
Hope everyone was okay today… this is the first Easter without Chris and I’m blessed my ex brother in law came to stay to keep
Me company
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Sat on my own crying my eyes out asking him why did he leave me on my own
I miss him so much I tired going for a walk but nothing is making me feel better today
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I’m the same today. I went out in my car intending to go for a proper walk, but ended up driving miles in the countryside and just walking and crying for half an hour. Home again now and back to crying on the sofa. The only ones who get all this are you all, on this site.
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Nothing is going to make me feel better today either.I didn’t think Easter would bother me we never did much but we were together.People telling me to have a nice Easter have made it worse and a relative brought me a beautiful basket of flowers for Easter and when I look at them it just upsets me.
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Today is my first Easter without my husband and also my adult daughters first birthday without her dad. Two upset people today. Its 10 months since he died but it doesnt seem to be getting easier.
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