I’m glad it’s not just me. These physical pains are real. Haven’t bothered with the doctor even if I could get an appointment they just say its the grief. They’re probably right so hopefully as we come to terms with it and move forward (somehow) the physical pains will ease too
Half way through the day no one visits sat watch tv same as any other day you would my children live miles away
They don’t must be the norm WhatsApp text happy birthday have a lovely day umm think I’ll have a shower an go out look at some caravan. Think then can take the dogs out. With me weeks or weekend away from house Got to be more to life then this .have I become that strange to my kids a grand kids. Maybe better off keeping my self to my self x
Nearly six months since my husband passed, everyone’s life carries on, my loss is ‘old ‘ news in people’s eyes. You’re strong, you’ll cope, he’s not struggling now, they haven’t got a clue what’s it’s like walking in an empty house, waking every morning for it to hit you again.
Sunshine, longer days, he should be here to enjoy them.
It’s hard, I will manage and carry on and grieve behind closed doors.
It’s nearly 6 months for me and sometimes I think I should be over it .But when you’ve been with someone for over 41 years it’s hard you just keep looking out for them x
Hi @Pam14 @ Sue155
Yes, 10 months on still feel the same.
I survive get by but like you say, when you’re been with someone for over 38 years more or less. The silence coming home to no one being alone is heartbreaking
Every day goes by and my pain is still there i miss him everyday but i still exist in this new world without him and it is very hard.
I dont have any family around and friends dont live close by trying to get out and make new friends hard when you’re older but i still try.
Hopefully in time it is easier to deal with but early days i guess.
Take care
Lynne x
I don’t remember having so many aches and pains as I do now or is it just because I’m getting older. I was always quite a confident person when my hubby was alive but now I’m not very confident at all and am always second guessing nearly every thing. Anyone else feel the same as me xx
Glad days done no visitors how popular I am. Of to bed tv night all
Hi @AnnieG1
I agree with what you say.
I had ovarian cancer treatment 3 years back and my husband was always with me in the follow ups now the last two 3 monthly checks i did alone and that was hard. Fingers crossed so far results tests have been good. This weekni have had a cold virus unable to shift had antibiotics and now paracetamol to try shift but 5 days on feel terrible i misd him looking after me on my own not quite the same.
Take care
Lynne x
Hi @ Martin2
I know how you feel no one been i touch lasr week spoke to a neighbour 2 days ago.
Lonely and not feeling great.
I just want to wish you happy birthday and you are not alone we are all here to speak listen to you.
Life is so different trying to live without them but there has to be a reason why we are left behind.
I will try my best to help others who are grieving and upset.
Take care
Lynne
So sorry you had such a bad day Martin.
I’ve had an up and down day. Started off in bits, now the funeral is over its so final. Spent the day with friends but now I’m back home alone. I’m crying again so I might as well go to bed and watch tv, maybe I’ll even get some sleep
Hello lynn. Sorry that you are not feeling too great neither am I as I had my second shingles jab yesterday and now very sore and tired. Like you I have not seen many people this last week and have only been out to walk my dog. Another long lonely Saturday night. For some reason this always seems the worst of the week although the rest are all spent on my own too. Making new friends is very hard to do. As is finding places to go out to on your own. Hope your weather improves and you are feeling better soon. Sun is shining in Fife just now but very windy still. Take care xxx
Hi @Pakapa
Yes sun shining here too in Edinburgh
Just resting as have tgus lousy cold i just cant shift been a week
I had my 1st shingles vaccine 6 weeks back and like you suffered sore arm for a few days. Not had my 2nd one yet.
Hope you get through the weekends like me they are harder to deal with.
Take care
Lynne
The hardest reality is feeling invisible and not being important enough to others. It’s a feeling of being unloved, nobody puts you first anymore. When you feel unwell who can you call in the middle of the night? Nobody to make you a cup of tea or cook you a meal and getting older is a worry as who is going to look after us? I never thought I would be in this position, was I naive? Life can be so cruel and there are so many lonely people out there, it’s just so sad. I had found the one who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, how do we spend the next 20 plus years? Saturday nights are soul destroying, yet it was always my favourite night of the week, even if we did nothing we had each other and I was content and happy with that.
@Martin2 so sorry your birthday has not been a happy occasion but you are not alone as we are all in the same boat but we are all thinking of you
Hi @LynT
Too true who do you call when you have no family around. Basically you are on your own and loke you say we are not the only ones in this situation.
Life now so different from being a couple and looking after each other.
Maybe have to set up network group to set up uk wide to help others like us.
Life is tough
Take care
Lynne
We didn’t have children and both my parents have gone, no siblings so I literally have no family left except my 93 yr old aunt and uncle. I am fortunate I have 3 or 4 really good friends who are now my family. I don’t even have a next of kin, it’s very sad and I often wonder why I’m still here and what my purpose is given the fact I am alone. Thankfully I work full time which occupies the days, I work from home though so don’t see anyone and same most weekends. I know at some point I need to meet new people and get out more but it’s such an effort especially as you get older and I don’t trust many people in this day and age so even harder still. I have accepted the loss but I don’t know who I am anymore, my history went with my loved one’s.
At the moment I am going through a phase of changing everything in the home, decorating every room, new bed, bedding and I think it’s to try and find my identity now as everything was too sad as it was like the day he died everything just stood still. There was an air of deep sadness and depression in the home so I am stamping it out. I try to focus on his life and happy memories but the “end” seems to dominate everything. Changing stuff has helped me create a foundation for just me and it also keeps me busy
@Martin2 so sorry your birthday has been so awful but happy birthday anyway. People and families seem to be so occupied with their own lives nowadays. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. Take care. Ann
Good good morning to all up early sun out . Let’s get out and do something Hope you all have sort of nice day x glad yesterday gone take care all
I feel your pain hun they say it gets easier it doesn’t we just have to learn to deal with it day by day grief is love with no place to go I lost my angel 8 months ago feels like yesterday he passed suddenly aged 51 I listen to his music often as he was a DJ and done a few radio shows I had a massive panic attack last night but as soon as I watched his videos and put on his engagement ring I began to feel calmer it was stoke he was with me when I drifted off to sleep people shouldn’t tell you to move on etc you do things your way everyone grieves differently all the best xx
Hi Martin still in bed chilling not been well had a massive anxiety attack last night felt I couldn’t breath then decided to watch a video with my beloved and me in when he was DJying at a local pub made me smile and cry all at once as soon as
I put on his engagement ring with mine I felt a bit better and drifted off to sleep nice tina came to visit you in your dreams my angel hasn’t yet but he’s visited me at home xx