I totally agree with every word you said 
Take care everyone x
1 Like
Yes I totally get you I’m the same I wish i had more time with my fiancé but he left too soon his diabetes and ulcer took him I tried to help but was too late I feel anger and guilt it’s ripped me apart took me 2 years to except my mum passing and that was 13 years ago don’t think I’m ever going to get I’ve losing my angel 51 is so young
2 Likes
Yes @Pam14 and @Georgi . I had retired at 55 and he didn’t work much so we were so happy that I did only a couple of shifts to keep us going out and being together more . It’s horrific that he went when I was 56
2 Likes
Can’t sleep, all kinds of things running in my mind so overwhelming!
At the beginning of 2023 we thought we had worked so hard all these years and were blissfully happy and now it’s time to work less and play more so started preparing for our plans to semi-retire in 2024. He suddenly passed away in May! My whole world fell apart, I’m now semi-retiring alone and trying to live the life how we used to live for both of us, carrying on doing what we used to do together, alone for both of us. My love, my angel I miss you so much and I hope you are happy and at peace wherever you are - I miss you so much my love 
It’s the first anniversary of his passing on 2 May and I just can’t bear to be alone in the house so going to spend the day in Paris with my girlfriend who kindly offered to accompany me for which I am so grateful.
Take care everyone x
5 Likes
@Angel1309 im so sorry for you it’s the same for me in may 22 . I am at work tonight love . Sorry you can’t sleep . I am on mitazipine it knocks me out for about 10 hours . I was always up now without it . Glad you have someone to support you . I have my son
1 Like
I miss my beautiful wife every moment, gone at 49. I crave her company, her advice, her love. She was always there to help others despite being in pain. She is no longer in pain but no longer here. For her to remain pain free I feel I must accept she can’t be physically here with me - that will be a daily battle - putting her peace before my wants. Im failing at the moment but I’ll try again today. So many lessons are becoming clearer in the home we shared, every single item on the walls, on shelf’s, in drawers and written in notebooks has a memory behind it. She lived those years as best she could and created memories with me that only I know about. Thank you my sweet Nicola for sharing those precious 31yrs with me, I feel blessed but so so sad. You will never be forgotten. Time to sleep now x
3 Likes
When he went, half of me went with him. I now live my life in semi-darkness and cannot see any light. I too, keep trying again each day but nothing can help me. One friend told me that I had been cut very deeply, that summed it up. This wound will not heal.
4 Likes
@Eveybabes I think we all wish we had more time don’t we ? 20 years for me and that’s not enough . My mum died 2 years almost to the day prior to Baz and the double shock is almost too much to bear . Losing my mum took many months of terrible grief and severe anxiety- Baz helped me through this time . Just as I was starting to feel slightly better and begin putting my life back together, Baz died very suddenly. I’m heartbroken by life
3 Likes
Thank you @Jol we all here know too well how hard it is to get through this.
I am so grateful to be able to air & share on this amazing platform we all are going through the same sad journey and supporting one another through it.
I hope you will manage to get to sleep without mitazipine someday soon.
Take care x
3 Likes
Same here, I crave his company, his advice, his so always honest opinion, his witty jokes and most of all his unconditional love 
.
Hope you had good sleep. Take care x
3 Likes
Totally agree - my whole world crumbled the day I lost him. Life will never be the same again without our beloved
3 Likes
God I went to bed early no point staying up x just woke up an reading all the messages I’m hart broken my self x to read what I have above x we all in the same boat so lost I’m going to try an have a postive day going to see if I can pack some of tina clothes in to bags take them to cancer charity shop said I’ll try my gut feeling says Umm or just leave it try every one to have a good day and think of the happy memories you maid take care all x
4 Likes
Hi @ KMCG
Sorry to hear of the loss of your wife.
It is very early days for yourself and so young.
My husband passed last year suddenly at 63 but we had 38 years together so lots of memories.
You can only take one day at a time in this new life we find ourselves living in.
Take time to look after yourself
Lynne
3 Likes
Hi @Martin2
Like you say sometimes you make a plan to do things but on the day you can’t do it.
Yesterday i was feeling down and full of the cold started to go through some items but stopped . The house is full of my husbands things some i have put to charity other things i cant sort yet. Nearly 10 months for me one step forward two steps back.
Today is another day hopefully soon i can try to sort out things at home.
There is no easy time to do anything only when you feel ready to do things.
Take care
Lynne
5 Likes
@Martin2
One day at a time… I packed my Chris clothes in boxed and put them in the loft apart from the ones I made cushion covers from… I’m not quite ready to give them to charity… I have this image of me seeing someone in his top and thinking it’s him… I will probably drop them at a charity shop out of my borough…
I try and start my day on a positive note but heartbreaking reading everyone’s messages this morning
3 Likes
@Galaxy75
Yes agree one step forward two steps back… when the times right… I feel almost guilty packing his clothes as if I’m clearing him away hate it
3 Likes
@KMCG
I’m so sorry for the loss 49 is so young I hope you have family and friends support as well as on here?
I really Miss my Chris we were together 33 years that’s a lot of memories and really hard to come to terms with…
some days I wake up and wish it had been me as this grief is unbearable and other days I’m grateful I’m alive… but I’ve most definitely changed from the person I once was all part of this horrid journey we are all on… The feeling of guilt, anger, numbness ect…sending you peace
4 Likes
I can’t even pack my Steve’s clothes away they are still in the wardrobe.The more time goes on the more I miss him I can’t enjoy anything anymore even when I go out it’s not the same without him I don’t like my new life
I would like to turn back to 6 months ago so I could be with him again .sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep at night and not wake up 
4 Likes
I totally understand its 10 months for me and i still have his clothes in wardrobe. I cannot face it yet. I also used to wish i could turn time back. The pain is still raw
4 Likes
Hi @Hazell @Pam14
Yes 10 months for me too.
I’ve tried to clear some of husbands things but ended up judt leaving on wardrobe and drawers.
I cant do it yet i feel like i wpuld be erasing him all of his possessions memories just not able to at the moment.
This new life we now have is tough and not an easy path.
Lynne x
4 Likes