Maybe its too soon to be making any big decisions. I was never any good at making decisions before, now I’ve got to on my own
Many people have said give it a year.
If I do decide to move it will be in the same village, I have family and friends here and I need them x x
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Just see this. How true x looks like rain down in Portsmouth had plans today. O well they keep for tomorrow .house work instead
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I know people who have moved and they say the emptiness just went with them .x
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Yes I think the emptiness is deep inside.
But do I need to be rattling around in a 3 bedroomed house with a large garden that Im going to have trouble managing?
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I am staying put, there are so many beautiful memories here in our home just can’t bear to think of being anywhere else at the moment maybe in a few years I probably need to downsize. Right now everywhere I turn my angel is there to comfort me and that makes me very safe and happy 
, bless you my love I hope you are at peace wherever you are
Take care everyone x
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I think the emptiness will be there deep inside forever - I am trying very hard to adjust and accept that this is the new normal, hard, painful but can’t be avoided sadly 
Take care x
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I’m looking out the patio doors at the Pear Tree which is in full blossom. We also have an Apple Tree over the other side of the garden, it’s less fruitful but when you do get an apple from it, wow. This will be the first harvest without my wife. She was the instigator and named the trees; Apple - Ernie, Pear - Bert - no I’ve no idea but I think it was characters from Sesame Street? I have no idea how I will react to nature as it unfolds and the trees need harvesting, but, something tells me to plan something celebratory. We’ll see. As others have said I don’t think there will be a day goes by that I don’t grief (crave) the company of my loved one but that’s ok, she was / is worth it. Kevin
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I have a beautiful cherry blossom tree that my husband bought me for my birthday a few years ago and it has just come into bloom. We both loved it so much that it makes me sad that he cant see it now. Just got to get the rest of the garden sorted now.
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Yesterday I made a start on trying to tame the jungle my garden has become these last few months. The weather was lovely. I thought I’d carry on today but today its raining 
. Its a shame because for a while I was doing something we had both enjoyed. Today I’m back to trying to cope
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My husband had bought a beautiful green shed but returned it later as there was a problem finding someone to assemble it just a couple of weeks before he passed away! I reordered a few weeks ago and had it put up and now I think of him whenever I look out into the garden especially when it’s sunny I feel he is by my side admiring it with me I hope he really is 
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Yep I’ll never forget shut my eyes see to live it again and again x weather down here is horrible none stop rain an wind roll on summer
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Hi
My husband planted some dwarf fruit trees just before he passed away.
They are on large planters and have just stsrted to bud. He loved the garden growing veg fruit flowers everything. It was his escape from his work.
So sad he’s not here to see everything in the spring. Dont know much about gardening but learning quickly hopefully it will be my sanctuary escape.
Take care
Lynne
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Gardening was Rogers escape during lockdown, he was shielding so the first one was 4 months. I’ve always loved gardening, but I’m a lot older now and I don’t know how much I’ll be able to do on my own. But I’ll try
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I left our house after my wife died. We both loved the house so much and my wife said she always felt safe there My wife died traumatically in the house. I had to leave it was so hard but my wife was the heart of the house and it wasn’t the same house without her. I now feel guilty and regularly think what my wife would say to me whether she would be annoyed with me or not ill never know it’s horrible
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Thats so sad. That you have to leave your home. Your wife won’t be annoyed with you. She’ll know the turmoil you’re in,
I don’t know how I feel, at first I thought that I’d want to move but people kept saying give it a year. I still don’t know, but its only been 6 1/2 weeks. Its just so lonely without him, I cry most of the time. I miss him so much.
I’ve even been thinking of getting a dog for company, someone to be here when I come home, but thats a reflex reaction and one I need to think of carefully.
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It’s been 9 months for me it still feels so raw
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I know I’m new to this weird club we’re in and I’ve an awful long way to go. But this forum does help, to know so many people are here to help each other through
I cant imagine I’ll ever find a time where I dont feel so bad
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It’s really early days for you lm nearly 6 months in it’s really hard it’s my late husband’s birthday
tomorrow that’s going to be hard for me .im going to get all my first out off the way before I make my mind up about moving we lived in are house for 35 years and have lots of memories here x
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