I hope you can have as good a birthday you can
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Yes we do seem to age don’t we but that’s the trauma of losing them, grief zaps everything out of you, leaving you feeling physically and mentally drained, plus lack of sleep on top of that. I am 63 but feel 93 and my husband was 63 when he passed suddenly of a heart attack. Here one minute, no warnings, no symptoms and gone the next. It’s such a lot to process and the shock affects the body as much as the mind. I was never sick before he passed but since then had viruses, colds, tooth extraction and migraines. Hopefully some warm weather and sun will recharge our batteries
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I am doing the best to stop the pain I have been working mon and tues and then I saw my fav medium wed this Thursday I saw a TikTok curry made so went to the restaurant. Friday I went to a fair at sheffield arena and went for drinks . Sat I am seeing a copy Elvis . Sunday I am playing bingo and Monday at a local farm . Monday is Cassyette at leadmill sheffield. Work Tuesday Wednesday. I will collapse Thursday I expect . All to ease the enormous pain that I feel . As all we feel I here my loves
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Me too, sad isn’t it?
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Hi @LynT
Yes its strange being ill on your own
No one to look after you talk too help you Now its just you trying to do your best.
My husband helped me though my cancer treatment 3 years back now having to go to follow up appointment ever 3 months alone. At least i’m doing OK only 7 more years of monitoring
Life on your own not something you ever planned but at least we had 38 years together.
Take care
Lynne
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I mentioned in an earlier post that I didn’t want life to simply be a series of distractions but in actual fact that is ultimately what can sometimes give us a little respite. I’m 55 this year and I’m thinking with a following wind I’ve got another 20 summers, possibly . Sometimes that releases energy thinking about it and it’s even lifted again when I think every summer passing will bring me closer to being with my wife again. It’s probably fraught with mental risks thinking that way but until something better comes along,…
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@KMCG i am 57 in June and like you I have probably 20 plus years before I see the total love of my life . That horrifies me to be honest . I am not afraid to die now that’s one change in me . Everyone handles it differently . If I sit looking at these walls I would go mad
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Take care everyone. Look after yourself and help others toi.
This journey we all now find ourselves is new and hopefully in time we will learn or discover what life is all about in order to survive what time we have left. 
Lynne
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@Martin2 , hi Martin , just want to wish you a Happy Birthday ,
…try and have as good a day as you can . Sending a birthday hug 
x
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Hi Martin.
Wishing you a Happy Birthday .
Try and have the best day you can and know our love and thoughts are with you
Big hugs x x
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Thankyou xx got to say if this has happened to anyone this morning Tina was next to me cuddling saying it’s your day please don’t be up set I’m here all the time watching you also I’m up here with dad telling me how proud she is of me coping how I’m doing an what I’m doing also said don’t spend so much time watching tv you got things to do will visit a gain soon . Me crying my eyes out saying she got to now x me begging don’t I love this a miss our chats crying as she said good bye .woke up and i have been crying pillow wet through and it felt so real but a dream .going to say lovely dream but had to say goodbye again xx weird xx
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Its so nice that Tina visited you in your dream. I’m just so sorry the reality hit when you woke, but just for a while you had her back. And she’s with you today in your heart and I know she wouldn’t want you to be sad. Please try to have an ok day and remember the good times you had, I’m sure there were many.
Take care xx
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OH MY, Martin, that must of been so lovely for you , a birthday gift from your Tina , maybe it wasn’t a dream but more a visitation. She is with you and watching you all the time , I can understand the tears , but try and take some comfort from it too. x
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@Martin2
Hi Martin I know it’s going to be hard birthdays mean nothing to me now… but I keep smiling for my kids…
My partner used to give me money on my birthday so I gave myself a treat in November when I was 58… I do feel more like 98 at
The moment my legs are aching so bad… I’ve seen the dr twice ( you get paranoid about every ache) just said it’s my age and lack of estrogen but I’ve not had a blood test or scan… I’m usually so fit and healthy…
Anyway thinking of you today
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@Martin2
How lovely visitation dream no doubt I’ve had one although I was upset when I woke I was also comforted by his presence… There must be something else in life surely and hopefully we will meet them again one day
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@LynT
You’ve said exactly how I feel I’m 58 and feel 98! No disrespect to that age but my bones have started aching I’m getting more headaches I guess our bodies take the toll of grief as well as our minds… roll on the warm weather… it’s a shame we all live so far away from each other we could of met up…
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I have a back condition and since losing my husband last May its got worse. Went to see doctor who said anxiety and stress in bereavement can make pain worse. I am now looking into early retirement as i work in office and its not helping.
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I’m 67 and feel like I’m 97 every part off me hurts and I’ve been having headaches
Take care x
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I’m glad it’s not just me. These physical pains are real. Haven’t bothered with the doctor even if I could get an appointment they just say its the grief. They’re probably right so hopefully as we come to terms with it and move forward (somehow) the physical pains will ease too
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