It’s coming up to 6months for me and the pain just seems to be getting worse . The lonelyness is so hard it’s relentless I don’t speak to anyone from one day to the next sending you a hug x
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First anniversary for me too on May 1st, I don’t know how I have got through this first year, its gone by in a blur and still feels like just yesterday I lost him.
I guess we will just need to do what we can to get by this next hurdle but geez its so hard xxx
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You can message us on here any time for a chat when your feeling lonely , we are in this together and it does help being on this forum. It has made me feel a bit better even on the worst days xx
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It’s my wife’s funeral tomorrow and I have no idea how it will go. Thankfully it’s short, my wife didn’t want us to go through a traditional funeral as she felt her spirit was already in a different place but in this last few days we spoke and I wanted to have her qualities, her life said out loud. Even with only the very closest of friends attending I still want her passing heard. Goodness I’m struggling to write this never mind what lies ahead tomorrow. It’s the depth of the sadness that is the hardest, well I need to get some colour to wear as she wanted that piece of joy for everyone. If truth be told she wanted people to dress up as superhero’s but changed her mind. It would’ve been original tho not surprising if you knew her.
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@KMCG
I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hope everything goes as you would wish. I’m sure it will. I was dreading Rogers funeral but the day was absolutely perfect, a fitting tribute to him.
Know that there will be many of us thinking of you
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I will be thinking of you tomorrow sending you a hug
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Will be thinking of you tomorrow, we had my wife’s funeral last Friday , was a beautiful humanist service with her favourite music .
She would have loved it .
I am even more devastated now since it’s over and I have to come to terms with the fact that I will never see her again in this lifetime .
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I will be thinking of you tomorrow, I’m sure it will go well for you all.
My husband had input into his funeral with no formal service, not advertised in local paper he didn’t want people he had not seen in years coming. He even chose the the colour of the flowers, I have never been to a funeral like it but it was so special with only 12 close family members there and rather than a funeral tea we went to his hotel of choice for a family meal, he did not know about that it was our choice because we knew he would’ve loved that x
He chose our niece to say a few words at the graveside and our son-in-law to raise a toast at the meal and it had to be a champagne toast.
For a day I was dreading it turned into something very special and I will never forget it xxx
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@KMCG
I personally found the anticipation of the funeral was worse than the actual day of it. It does actually give some closure to know it was the last act of love we could do for them.
We will all be thinking off you. She also has her wish of a superhero, not all wear capes but you are definitely her superhero
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Thank you sending you a hug back 
Working from home yesterday and did not speak a word throughout the day and couldn’t wait to go to the office today to be with colleagues. Loneliness is painful and unbearable 
x
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OMG only one day before, mine is 2nd May!
I feel the same, sometimes feels like it only happened yesterday and another time it feels like I’ve gone through and done so much to survive so far.
Yes, we’ll have to keep going no matter how hard and painful it’ll be.
Sending hugs & strength xxx
Sending big hugs x
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Dearest @KMCG
Thinking of you today.
You will get through. Your wife will be guiding you through the day
Love, hugs and strength
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“She also has her wish of a superhero, not all wear capes but you are definitely her superhero”
That is so beautifully written.
You are so kind in your thoughts.
You are a superhero too
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Well, the funeral is over. Was it difficult, absolutely. It was the first time I’d been in the same room since my wife passed about over 5 weeks ago. However I got time to go in first on my own to just say hello to my loved one, to let her know I was there and that she would be coming home soon. The celebrant did a fantastic job of putting across the qualities my wife had and bringing in the friends with stories involving each of them that I had shared earlier. At the end I was given time on my own for a final 1-2-1. I told her I would see her soon (it was our saying as opposed to the norm ‘goodbye’) and had the space to break down - you know that guttural noise that you just don’t know where it comes from - yep that was me. The friends who attended were incredibly comforting when I came out and felt the service reflected my wife. I then went home and just sat. I’d say I did better than I worried about doing but I could sense how easy it could’ve been to have been unable to leave her and unintentionally cause disruption. Thanks to all for your thoughts, it really did help. Kevin
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Hi Kevin
Im so glad you got through the funeral and managed some alone time with your wife.
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See you soon is what we always said and were my final words to him too. Glad everything went ok and you did her proud. Weirdly and probably selfishly I wanted his funeral with just him and me and noone else. Nobody who attended has even bothered to contact me since so I guess it was effectively about just me and him
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@LynT sorry no ones bothered with you since the funeral. I was so lucky. Our family and friends have been there and are still there for me.
It still doesn’t stop me feeling so lonely though. Even when I’m in company I feel so alone
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@Liro thanks, it doesn’t bother me as I have no interest in people who have no compassion or thoughts for others. I am my best friend, counsellor and support, that’s all I need and my lovely friends. My husband and I were well aware of what people can be like so just knowing him for 50 plus yrs was a blessing and happy with that
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