It was a privilege to be able to do them. If we had been married, I would have had him at home til the funeral. I know his brother has his ashes now, no idea whether I will be asked to go with the family to scatter them, or whatever they plan, but I have to be satisfied that I got my own way over most of the funeral arrangements.
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Oh well I got though Steve’s birthday with the help of the family . It was a shame it was a really wet day I wanted to walk along Weymouth sea front like me and Steve had done so many time
He loved coming to Weymouth for family holidays 
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@Pam14 Glad you got through the day and marked Steves birthday. Sorry the weather couldnt have been kinder. I’m sure Steve was walking with you.
I have my first “first” tomorrow, our wedding anniversary, exactly a week after Rogers funeral, thats going to be tough
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All the firsts are really hard they say but I bet it will always be hard every day is very hard . I don’t like my new life without him it’s very lonely isn’t it and I’m not looking forward to going back home and being on my own again x
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You’re so right. I’m going to my sisters for a couple of weeks. Maybe I’ll be able to push my grief to the back of my mind (I won’t)
But I’ve stiĺl got to come back to this empty house. I dont think I’ll ever get used to that.
The heartbreak is still there, the missing is still there. I don’t know how we get past that
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Well its here, our Anniversary, I’ve struggled a bit this morning. I’m going out with my Grandaughter to buy the locket he wanted to get me at Christmas.
There was a robin in my garden this morning so I’m hoping Roger had come to wish me Happy Anniversary
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So sorry for your loss, the smallest things can set your emotions off, just let the tears flow xx
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We can all wish you Happy Anniversary on here x
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Wishing you a happy anniversary, going out with your granddaughter is a good distraction.
I had a robin come after my husband passed last May and it visited every day for months and would follow me round the garden as I weeded, it brought me comfort xx
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My wife’s son still has her ashes I’ve tried but he won’t part with them I don’t think ill ever get them back 
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Hope you can have a good day thinking off you x
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Thankyou all for your kind thoughts. I’ve had a good day with my Grandaughter. I got the locket, then we went for lunch and ended up in our local. It was nice, I’ve laughed and cried and hugged and been hugged.
Now I’m back home alone, thats the hardest thing, coming home and Rogers not here. I miss him so much
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It will be tough for him too…
I was very upset when my step
Dad wouldn’t let me have any of my mums ashes…He was adamant they were to be all buried in a local crematorium which is about 2 hours away from me… he has passed away now and I only manage to get there twice a year…
But I have the memories I’m hoping if there is such a thing as a better place she is there with my partner and dad altogether.
Yes thats the part I find the hardest coming home to an empty house, think its something I will never get used too xx
That must be so hard I can’t imagine how I would deal with that xx You never think of these things, I always assumed the surviving spouse would get the ashes not a son xxx
Exactly my sentiments x
The first anniversary of his passing is approaching fast - in a couple of weeks- the pain is still so deep and no sign of it getting any better 
. How are we going to get used to this painful and lonely life without our beloved? 
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It’s coming up to 6months for me and the pain just seems to be getting worse . The lonelyness is so hard it’s relentless I don’t speak to anyone from one day to the next sending you a hug x
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First anniversary for me too on May 1st, I don’t know how I have got through this first year, its gone by in a blur and still feels like just yesterday I lost him.
I guess we will just need to do what we can to get by this next hurdle but geez its so hard xxx
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You can message us on here any time for a chat when your feeling lonely , we are in this together and it does help being on this forum. It has made me feel a bit better even on the worst days xx
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