Good on you 
How are you feeling today?
I had the funeral recorded on a disc and watched it a few days after… I really don’t
Know why I thought that was a good idea 
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Dear @KMCG
She is so proud you got through.
I’m still thinking of you…now is the hardest part of the day, and tomorrow when you wake up… Your wife is still with you, guiding you, she always will be.
Just know that there lots of us here who understand. Read on here when you want, post when you feel able.
Take your own time. Be kind to yourself.
And avoid anyone who will drain you emotionally. ( That was advice from our wonderful GP)
Love, hugs and strength to you
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Hi @LynT
Just him and me at his funeral, that’s exactly how I felt. I even wished it was COVID with all those restrictions.
I kept it small though, and only had people who had been properly bothered with us in the recent months of his illnesses
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Odd, there wasn’t any feeling of closure that I think those who have not experienced it believe will happen. I think it did provide a point of closure for those who attended (with the exception of my son who is similar to me). I still woke up with the awful realisation she is not going to be part of my physical world, yes I can take an element of strength believing her to be spiritually nearby but I still have an ache for her to be near me physically.
Thanks to all for your support, it really did make a difference knowing there was a community who understood. Kevin
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@KMCG
Yes we do all understsnd and thats good to know.
I didnt feel closure either, like you I think its people who havent been through it that say it. The day after the funeral I felt back to square 1. The grief was, and stll is, as bad as ever. I think the funeral gave me someone to focus on. Now I’m trying to adjust to my new life, not vey well at the moment, but I’ll keep trying
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So sorry to hear that no-one has contacted since the funeral, people are strange creatures for sure xxx
I totally get that the no closure feeling…
I really wish non of us had to deal with this numbness, loss of our identities.
ect…it hurts to know I will never feel that intense love, trust and loyalty ever again… the days seem
So long and I crave the nights for just a small glimps of him in my dreams…
It’s been 8 months the only thing that keeps
Me going is living through him if you know what I mean… doing the things we used to do together that way I feel he is still near
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@Ilovehorses
I totally know what you mean. Trying to live through him and craving to dream of him. Thats exactly how I feel. I’m desperate to dream of him just to be with him again, even though I know when I wake it will hurt so much, but its not happening.
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Ditto…exactly my sentiments
Take care everyone x
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I dreamt about him throughout the past months but in the last 3 weeks no more 
not sure why he’s no longer here besides me, now longing to dream about him again 
(I miss you so much my angel wherever you are I hope you are at peace free of all the suffering my love 
)
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The only thing that helped me see him was looking through the photo album but it wasn’t a dream a nightmare of him dying all over again and I awoke crying so much…my mum and dad who passed over 15 and 25 years ago were also in the nightmare…
my brain is struggling to process all this loss 
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So sorry for everyones loss. Its so hard isnt it. I lost my darling husband just over 10 months ago. We planted a lovely rose bush on top of his ashes in the memorial garden at the church. I go up there every week to sit and it is so peaceful until this week that is. I went up there and to my dismay the councul grass cutting team had mowed straight over his rose bush. cut it to pieces. I am devastated. I thought I was coping quite well but now feel as though I am back to square one. Just cant stop crying again.
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At last, Roger came to me in my dream last night. It was only brief and although it was vivid at the time its fading now. And although I cried after it was worth it just to see him again
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Oh that is terrible and so upsetting for you, I do think some of council staff who work in cemeteries have very little respect for the job they are doing xx
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That’s terrible they have no respect sending you a hug x
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Dear @AnnieG1
Oh I’m so sorry.
That must feel absolutely terrible for you to deal with.
No words can put that right.
So here’s a big hug
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sending love and hugs x
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How heartless and inconsiderate of them. awful!
Sending hugs x
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Thank-you The same back to you…
The days seem to be dragging now it’s lighter for longer… we would have been having lovely eve walks with the dog or
Stopping for a drink at the pub…
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