I fully understand about the funeral. I too was dreading it but it turned out to be the most perfect day. The next day was harder.
I’m 10 1/2 weeks in now, and still think he’ll come through the door, that someone has made a huge mistake.
But I also feel that maybe I am starting to accept it. The heartbreak and pain are still there but I’m not crying so much today. Then again tomorrow could be so different.
I hope you have support to help you out of the pit you find yourself in. You will find support on this forum, we all understand, we’re going through it too.
I’m nearly 7 months in I’m still finding it very hard getting up in the morning without him and going to bed at night
Spending so many hours on my own and I to still sometimes thinks he will come back but I know he can’t .
I break my heart most days still but I think at least he’s not in pain now I miss him so very much
Sending hugs to all x
Hi @Pam14 I’m like you with bed. When my husband first died (it’s now two years) I used to stay up watching rubbish television till three or four in the morning. I couldn’t go to bed sometimes and would more or often sleep on the sofa. I now try to get to bed a bit earlier but still find it hard. Getting up is a different matter. I have to drag myself out of bed. Can’t see the point getting up as no one to share the day with. I also spend a lot of time on my own and trying to find new things to do is a nightmare. Sorry not been much help.x
I find myself go to bed and putting the tv on to go to sleep to .i find it very hard to motivate myself most days it’s in the week that’s worse I do see family on Saturday or Sunday But in the week the days are so long and I haven’t got a very good attention span at the moment I start something and can’t finish it
This new life without them is very hard even if you try and take one day at a time x
The build up to the funeral can be the hardest time, I was lucky my husband had the time to make his wishes known for his funeral which included no service, no announcement in the local paper amongst other things, we went one step further and only 12 of us who were there were with him throughout his 5 month journey with cancer & instead of a funeral tea we went for a family meal to a hotel he had chosen, I’m sure he would’ve approved! It was amazing and I have to say it made such a difference on the day for me and my family it was just so special xxx
Last wk on the 1st anniversary after visiting my husband’s grave we went to the same hotel for a meal, again it felt special tho I had 2 sleepless nights prior to the day and lots of tears but I was calm on the day xxx
I hope you will find some comfort next week with support from your friends & family xxx
I thank you all for kind words and thoughts. My heart goes out to all to know you are suffering or suffered the pain i am initially going through now. It’s good to know were all in the same club of grief ! Not one we want to be but all the same are. Big hugs to you all xx
So sorry for your loss we feel your pain ,Its hard luv people say it gets easier but i dont think it dose , think we start to learn to live along side of grief so they keep telling me , after funeral its like everyone returns back to their same life but we left so numb and lonely , talking on here help a little because everyonne is grieving our own loss , ive got friends but they all got husband’s so i find it hard if we go out for coffee they constantly moaning about their husband’s and where they going holidays etc it makes me emotional to think not only have i lost my Husband ive lost my life, xx
I feel exactly the same way it’s hard to think that you are on your own now and how do you carry on Even other family members have there partners and they tell you what they are doing and it’s all really upsetting isn’t it
I know its so hard to see everyone getting on with their life, but ours has stopped. You can’t imagine a lofe without the person you fell in love with and made a life with. The nights are so lonely, and you just sit there watching the tv, but you’re not paying any attention to it. It’s just too drown out of the silence
Too true been nearly 1 year for me.
Tv is on for background noise cant remember when i watched a full tv programme
Love DR WHO and even haven’t watched the Christmas episode yet and due to start new episode next week
Take care
Lynne
Yes, it’s like your concentration has gone. Nothing seems to interest you anymore. It’s like a big, dark cloud hanging over you. Nothing makes sense! Big hugs to everyone on here xx
We all are going through the same sad, painful and terribly lonely journey Will it ever get better - who knows? The only thing we can do is try to get used to this new normal I suppose
Take care & big hugs to everyone
xx
life is never the same again without our soulmate 
Will it ever get better - who knows? The only thing we can do is try to get used to this new normal I suppose