@JerryH I held Tony’s hand and told him I loved him until he took his last breath. He was in hospital and the nurses were very kind and compassionate. I will always remember this… Love to all. xx
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That’s lovely, I also had opportunity to say goodbye and I love you, so glad i was there, but the memory is so hard and sad and unbearable, love to all xxx
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My husband collapsed and died instantly. I was in Benidorm. I deeply regret not being with him but I don’t think he would have wanted me to see him . I love him so . I feel empty without him
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Jol, how sad and shocking, we just never know how the end will come, sending lots of love, be kind to yourself xx
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How very true we do not know whats ahead.
We celebrated last christmas in Australia and this year i will be on my own.
My husband took early retirement in Feb so we could spend more time together thrn in June it was all over he collapsed and died.
Life is so tough without 
him.
I miss him every day but i know i somehow have to survive exist but without him is very hard.
Take care
Lynne x
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Hi Lyn, there is no way of knowing what’s ahead is there, we moved to the coast for our retirement, he loved our house and location, me too, but that dream has ended. Just so glad we made the most of the time we had, but we had so much more to do. Keep strong, lots of love x
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We bought our house in Northumberland 5 years ago and after lockdown and living there, we decided to sell our house in Sheffield to move to Northumberland full time.
However, shortly before completion, Jaq was diagnosed with Lymphoma ( Dec 20), she still wanted to sell the house but have treatment in Sheffield, so we moved to a rented property with the aim to move when her treatment was successful.
Unfortunately that never happened but she told our children that she insisted on selling the house or I would never move, which is probably true…
I feel much calmer up in Northumberland, which was our happy place and will move here permanently come the New Year but I am mainly here now
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Lovely Northumberland I hope you get settled soon, what a lot to deal with, all the best x
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We were supposed to semi-retire in Jan-24 to spend more quality time together doing whatever we wanted to do.
We even started to put our plans in motion - then our whole world crumbled- he passed away so unexpectedly in early May! Poor darling never had a chance to enjoy the fruit of his labour - it is so cruel and so unfair!
I miss him so much and every day without him is so lonely and a massive struggle. I can’t bear to think about spending Xmas alone - can’t bear to think about January 2024!
Big hugs and be strong everyone X
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Hi @Angel1309
Sending hugs to you
Me too 35 years married 36 in Aug 23.
We too retired early in Feb 23 little did we know in Jun 23 he would not be here to put our plans to do so. Retirement on my own no fun wanted to do things together.
Not looking forward to 1st Christmas without him or a New Year without him around but guess its something i will be doing.
Wishing everyone who is going through there 1st Christmas 
or 2nd 3rd etc i think every Christmas will be hard to get through no matter how many pass.
Take care x
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We were the same, he was a builder and was going to do less and less and slowly retire. I was doing the same but now I can’t stop work at all, government are crap over his state pension apparently I don’t get it until I’m a pensioner. And they changed all those dates so I’m having to wait more years. Do blooming stressful adding all this to everything else. It’s so so hard.
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Same as you have to wait 3 years till he would then have reached stare pension age. Guess have to learn to live off my own pension till then. Why is nothing ever straight forward
Feel like selling up and using money to go round the world.
Lynne x
Lynne
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Hi @Galaxy75
Thank you, hugs received
Spending Xmas and New Year alone is a nightmare that’s about to become harsh and cruel reality and nothing we can do about it sadly. Take care and be strong please everyone!
Retiring alone is so frightening for me so I may carry on working in January but maybe reducing to 2 or 3 days/week until I feel stronger and able to face more free days not having anything to do, alone! It will probably be a long while though.
Sitting here looking outside it’s so sunny and beautiful - missing him so terribly .
Take care and keep well X
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Sorry to hear you have to keep working when you don’t really want to - that’s stressful on top of everything else that you are going through during these difficult times. I am probably going to carry on working as well part-time though- don’t think I can cope retiring alone, not until I am strong and ready.
Let’s hope the Government won’t increase state pension age any further 
it’s so ridiculous having to keep extending our working life when we’ve already paid so much tax.
Take care X
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hope they wont change it again, i would have been a pensioner 3 yrs ago already. just keep going day by day thats all we can do
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Hi @ sososad
I hope no more changes regrarding retirement.
But its not good being retired and on your own we both worked do hard and he didnt even get a retirement.
I will try to do more things in my life now but on my own not much fun.
Lynne x
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Go round the world oh yes that would be an amazing plan. And an amazing life. If I did that I would take some of his ashes with me and sprinkle them around the world
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Day by day that’s all we can do - totally agree!
Went to work today - so busy but found it hard to focus kept thinking about him and missing him so badly morning afternoon and evening!
So lonely
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Working from home today. Feeling so sad and lonely being in the house without him. We used to work from home together and he would be sitting on my right and now every time I look to the right there is only empty chair and desk - I miss him so much - he was my angel that what I used to call him.
My angel isn’t here anymore and I am so lonely and miserable beyond words.
Love you my angel 
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That is so sad. I really feel for you. X
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