I was 59 when i lost my husband of 40 years. For my 60th i did nothing. A couple of friends came by but i just treated it as another day. 2 days after my 60th it would have been our wedding anniversary. Had a quite day for that too.
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I was 70 between his death and funeral last year,I didn’t do anything just hid away and the people that recognised it said I can’t wish you a happy birthday it was so hard I don’t remember much about it and don’t want to celebrate my birthday this year either.
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Hi @Ilovehorses
I dreaded Saturday, Sunday and Monday but tried to stay in - unsuccessfully of course, so ended up roaming the streets of London all three afternoons window shopping for hours.
I’ve made our garden his memorial garden (per my online counsellor’s suggestion) writing his name and love messages around the flower bed walls so that I can sit out there with him by my side. This weekend the weather was beautiful but I couldn’t bear to sit out there as planned, too painful to be alone, so went out instead and feeling a lit better afterwards.
It’s so hard to do all the things that we used to do together - alone, so heartbreaking 
take care x
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It’s such a lovely idea isn’t it to have a memorial garden - it’s a special place to be relaxing and reminiscing about our precious time together.
I hope you had a good first counselling session today - I had my sessions early on and found them to be of enormous help.
best wishes x
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Hi @Ilovehorses
You must be so relieved now that you finally got it off your chest having bottled it all up for so long. I am sorry you have gone through many losses in such a short space of time I can’t imagine how painful that must have been for you - losing one is hard enough to bear!
I hope the second season will be even better 
I have no plans for the weekend either, so another sad & lonely weekend, apart from going to the cemetery on Saturday morning for a chat with my angel 
.
Take care xx
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We all are going through the same sad and lonely journey - I hate this lonely life without him - everyday is a struggle 
I think as the first counselling session was so good it overrun then, the second one will probably help you even further 
Apparently Saturday is going to be bright and sunny according to the BBC weather report so I am hoping to be sat in the garden as well.
best wishes xx
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Having such a bad day today feel so emotional and lonely some days i just think whats the point ! Then i look at my adult kids / Grandkids and think ive got to carry on taking one day at a time in hope
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We just have to try to carry on for are family and hope things get better for us .It is hard and very emotional most days I go off for a cry and I’m always talking to my steve and that do help me r I write it down as a message
Sending you a hug x
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Yes we have to carry on for our loved ones still here. Its not easy and sometimes I don’t tell them how bad I feel because they dont understand how hard it is for me. Well I think they do but they don’t know what to say
I’m always talking to Roger and sometimes I even tell him off for leaving me. He’s on my mind constantly. I write to him every day and I know my life is never going to be the same, but I will carry on somehow for them, and for him because I told him I would
Love and hugs
Liz x
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Sadly, it was cold and wet through out the day today - I even had my heating on and stayed in all afternoon!
So true, I often think and even say to his and my best friends that I may have lost him but he lost his own life that’s so much bigger than my loss and I feel so sorry that I couldn’t do anything to save him.
I would do anything to have my Sean back in a heartbeat too, I say good morning and good night to him everyday and tell him I miss him and wish he would be here by my side - I find it comforting to talk to him as if he was still around.
Exactly my sentiments - so grateful that I’m still here 
Take care x
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Sending big hugs x
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Angel. 1309.
I totally get that and tell my darling the same sort of thing every day and night 
. Xxxxxx
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@Elite
so glad it works for you in the same way…to feel his presence makes me feel loved again…it gives me the reason to carry on, not living but just existing…xxx 
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Bless ya im still lucky to have my mum and dad mum got dementia dad got copd and other health problems , i career for them both dementia is awful i feel im losing my mum bit by bit sometimes she says hurtful things but i just smile and carry on , wish my Chris was ere to give me a big hug and tell me everything going to be ok ! I miss him so much unless someone has lost a partner they haven’t got a clue what impact it has on us , its hard looking after mum and dad but so grateful ive still got them at 85 and 89 x
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I lost my husband just over a year ago. Our alcholic adult son lives with us. Now its just me looking after him. Its really hard not having the support i had from him. I feel so down about it. I miss my husband so much. My son drinks more now his dad has gone.
I’m so sorry for the circumstances you are in right now, it must be so difficult dealing with your son on top of grieving for your husband. I don’t know what kind of help you would need with that but GP could point you in the right direction, you don’t need to cope on your own.
Big hugs xxx
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Thank you I had a peaceful day today - good weather good mood, did some weeding in the garden first thing in the morning - stopped short of mowing the lawn as I didn’t want to wake the neighbours before 9 a.m.
Spent some quality time at the cemetery afterwards, then came home and read the newspaper in the garden - one of the best afternoons in a long while
x
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Sending love, hugs and strength x
My older son has paranoid schizophrenia so I really feel for you trying to cope with an adult son with problems without your main support there any more. Neil was so good at sharing the burden, defusing the stressed phone calls by talking to him about rugby matches! It’s so lonely having to deal with it on your own.
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There really isnt much help out their with grief, other than these type of forums and you have to wait a long time for councilling unless you can pay privately. The GP’s dont seem to care, only offer breathing exercises and anti- depressants. I have complicated grief and no support from anyone in the health profession , other than you need to get support from youre family. What if you dont have family or you dont have a supportive one ! Basically no help then ! Life is so very cruel.
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