I waited 6 months they are so busy and I would off waited longer for face to face but I think it do help x
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I had my 3rd telephone counselling session today. What my counsellor says makes a lot of sense. I really try to take it all on board but since Sunday I having lots of tears and those feelings of that immense loss of yr partner is consuming me much of the time. The agony of the loss of a partner is exhausting too.
Thinking of all others on this special forum who are feeling the heartache.
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Not good.
This is the time when he would he would tell me it would be ok.
Really lost, anxious.
Feel so aline and separated from him at the moment.
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Dear @Ilovehorses
I so resonate with what you wrote.
I too have little motivation to do things in house and garden.
I work full time so Mon - Fri filled with work…
About now in the week I think right at the weekend ’ I WILL SORT THIS OR THAT, TIDY THE GARDEN ETC’
then the weekend comes and all that goes out the window. The weekend comes and all the issues with dealing with weekends alone, Sunday evening comes, and I think to myself , ‘oh I didn’t do anything again’’
Occasionally I do do something , but like you it’s not usually more than about an hour ( can’t cope with more than that). Pleased with myself briefly… And then exactly as you say the feeling WHAT’S THE POINT ?
Life alone is so rubbish isn’t it.
Work makes me tired and weary but my grief just totally exhausts me all the time.
Few people can understand the difference between these two feelings.
Take care my darling
I often read your posts and I can see you try really hard to be positive about how we deal with these bloody awful cards we’ve been dealt.
Time for me to paint that smile on my face, go to work and have to lie when I’m asked 'how are you? ’
Love strength and hugs to you
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Thank you everyone.
Like many people on here, I needed to tell people how I felt. It is a real ease.
So far, today is better. I really hope it continues.
It is so difficult when we are in the depths of one of the dips on the rollercoaster.
The dips are truly horrendous.
Also, we can never be certain when they will end.
I hope I can look back on this post if/when I’m in a dip in the future and that it reminds me the dip will end 
Thank you again, love and hugs,
Rose xx
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Thinking of you Rose.
I think I am getting over my current little dip but still have the tight, knotted stomach. It will pass but oh how horrible it is .
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Thank you @Elite ,
I think (hope) it is passing.
So glad your dip seems to be passing.
The dips are indeed horrible.
Fingers crossed for both of us.
Much love,
Rose xx
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Yes 
Rose.
Wishing you and all our other friends on here a good evening. Xx
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Not at all, I am glad it makes sense to you and hope you are no longer feeling guilty. Me too, I still find it hard to believe that my angel was going to work and never came home and my whole world crumbled that day - it still hurts so much every time I think about it 
I guess we’ll never know when grief is going to hit us so we’ll just have to go with the flow and deal with it if/when it does.
Big hugs x
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Its 18 months now since i lost my husband , some days are better than others ,today is a bad day .
It doesn’t help that my eldest son is depressed as well, hates his job, he is a lovely senstive caring lad who has taken a lot of flak from nasty people in his work ,he has left there now, but he has got loads of mental health issues because of the abuse he took from nasty people, luckily he has a great wife and 2 lovely daughters who.kerp me going.
I am a bit estranged from my youngest as his partner and I do not get together , she has caused more heartache and trouble since she came into his life , but he loves her and will not have anything bad said against her, tho other people see her what she is.
I miss my son , he also is a very caring lad, maybe this is the problem ,? We are all too caring and get hurt too easily . Their Dad was very upbeat and seeen rhe funny side of things , think thats what we are all missing the most, he always seen rhe funny side and didn’t take things too seriously.
I have been refered to the mental health team as I am so depressed with everything, on antidepressants at the moment .
I did have counselling but it did not really help me, though my counsellor was lovely.
Like all of us on here , this life is just awful since we lost our partners ,but I just dont seem to be able to move on at all.
Love to all of you going through this hesrtache and pain 
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Sending big hugs
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I am so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through, I think losing your life partner is the hardest thing to deal with. I do hope you find the help you need, just a thought when I was put on antidepressants a few yrs back it took 3 different kinds before I got something that worked. Perhaps you have tried others though.
I lost my husband of 47 yrs 13 mths ago and it is so, so hard but I find the support on here helps a lot knowing you are not alone and others really understand how you feel!
I hope you won’t have too long to wait for the help you need, sending big hugs xxx
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Thank you 
Thank you, it is a nightmare without your life partner, no one knows how hard it it is until it happens to them , but as you say thank goodness for this site here where we can let off steam and everyone understands .
I do hope the help.i get will help me too.
I was with my husband for 50 yrs ,I met him when I was 17 and he was 20. Sending lots of love to you and everyone on here. Xo
I do hope
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It’s so hard and lonely to carry on without the person you have spent most off your life with
The person who cared for you and knew all the little things about you that nobody else does
and you loved them for all there funny ways
and now they are gone
You have to try and go on alone missing them every day x
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What a coincidence thats how hold my husband and were when we met 17 & 20 xxx
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So very true it is very hard and they listen to your concerns and give good advice, losing that shoulder to lean on and having to deal with it all yourself when like us you have been with them since you were so young and in my case at 67 its so hard not having my rock to lean on, take care xxx
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I totally understand it is hard. I keep questioning myself over and over what I could’ve done to save him, why didn’t I google about the symptoms he was having at the time etc. I even say sorry to him whenever I cry myself to sleep that I should have been more attentive to his wellbeing knowing that he was never incline to complain about anything - I should have known better. My counsellor once said to me that she was concerned that I would only harm my own mental wellbeing by blaming my self over what happened. I totally agreed with her and since have been trying to tell myself that - hard it maybe but I keep and will keep trying.
Please be kind to yourself and try not to feel guilty if you can.
I am glad you had a better day today - it was good to have your love ones around and the sunny weather was definitely a blessing to us all hope the sun continues to shine!
I had a better day too thank you, went to Ikea getting a few things for the kitchen, just needed a couple of items but ended up spending most of the afternoon looking at everything in the store. Window shopping can be so therapeutic - I walked out of there feeling calm and peaceful, fingers crossed the feeling stays
Hope your better day extends to the weekend x
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Not at all
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It’s going to be a very hard and emotional few days. It will be a year tomorrow that my darling husband was taken into hospital on blue lights on the Saturday and he passed away on the Tuesday. I really don’t know how I am going to get through the next few days. I have got through birthdays and even what would have been our 50th wedding anniversary but this seems to be so much worse. I hate this life without him.
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