If he could answer he would probably say he never wanted to leave you and nothing he could do to prevent it from happening!
I’d like to think that our beloved would have loved to be by our sides forever, but sadly what happened it’s completely out of our control 
so I guess we just have to try and take one day at a time to survive even though life is now so meaningless!
Take care 
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I’m always asking my husband that but I’m sure he didn’t want to leave me
Thinking off you and everybody who has lost a loved one x
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The week before last I was so overwhelmed by stress at work so this week managed to approach the work more calmly and tried hard not to multitask - that worked wonderfully 
So glad I got through the week free from stress
Then weekend approached, before I started to panic, I wrote out my to do list and started hitting one by one throughout Friday and by the end of Saturday I managed to cross out everything on the list - feeling so satisfied 
I am now telling myself this is what I should be practicing everyday to help me cope in the long run - keeping busy is the key 
We all know it helps to keep ourselves busy to take our minds off the grief but the problem is to get up and go isn’t easy so I am hoping and praying that I can do it everyday and especially weekend 
Sorry for blabbering on a bit - just got up very early (5 am now) and the thoughts rushed in to my head 
so had to let it all out!
Best wishes to everyone x
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I feel your pain,it’s 8 weeks to the day since I lost my beautiful wife,I nursed her through 3 years of pain,weekly trips to give blood and chemo praying her picc line would hold out as her veins were shrinking rapidly,she went from a vibrant,self confident woman to a shell,although her mind stayed sharp,we would sit and try to beat each other watching tv quizzes,then the 28th april descended and she was gone,like everyone else I took the news hard,and then the bureaucracy started,all the ininsincere platitudes,sorry for your loss but endless requests for wills,birth marriage death certificates,endless form filling in,many trips to the post office for special delivery,and then probate stepped in,it’s too much sorry for the rant today is not a good day.
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Ron just rant here as much as you want - it’s good to get it all out.
It does feel endless all the sadmin and then as you say the many “ we are here for you “ when actually they aren’t.
Or the “ we will be here for you when you’re ready”. Ready for what I wonder ? Perhaps I should know what that is ???
I got angry at that to begin with - but now I just try accept that people don’t really understand at all unless you have been through it.
I find being in here helps with that - we all really understand and are going through a similar process.
Sending some strength to you and to all struggling today
The suns just come out here so am going to try and see if it lifts my spirit a bit
Xxxx
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That ‘WE’RE HERE FOR YOU’ and also with the addition of ‘WHEN YOU’RE READY’ in my opinion is meant by few!
It is said by others because it is what they think they should say or what makes them feel better.
Actions are the proof.
Gosh, that has got me going but I absolutely believe it.
Rant over!
Positive version, I am so grateful for my GENUINE friends. Few but greatly prized!
Love Rose 
xx
Oh Rose you have put into words what I couldn’t,outside of my daughter and sister(who has here own medical problems) the rest have been worse than useless,not heard anything from her side of the family since the funeral,so called friends on both sides have done a disappearing act bar one,I am a cynical,suspicious person by nature,but seeing the love and compassion on this site has restored a semblance of hope,my very best wishes Ron.
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Hello Ron,
it is very sad to realise that your impressions of people were so wide of the mark.
Some, well a few, of his family have kept in contact.
The others have disappointed me beyond belief. I still can’t believe they could be so selfish and callous, even though I know it has happened.
However, the positive part is this site.
There are so many kind and caring people. Plus they are people who understand!
Take care, continue to share.
Big virtual hug,
Rose
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Absolutely - actions are all that count really.
I have had lots of people messaging that we’ll meet up and then when you say yes you dont hear from them again.
Or they tell you all the wonderful things that they are doing and that’s why they haven’t been in touch and Can we meet up next month when they have some time.
I just now don’t reply.
But I have 3 friends who are consistent and keeping with me even in my bad days and my best friend has messaged me every single day since my husband died. And is always there for me. She doesn’t understand really but she is there. And that means the world.
And my kids are always here too. But they need me so that’s slightly different.
Sun is shining here so I’m gonna go and walk the dog and see if I can hold onto some positivity.
Love to all us strugglers. Xxx
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My husbands sisters are just beyond words words! They have done nothing to help and they have basically kept contacting me over the will and wanting things. As my husband made them the executors. When bad things happen, you really find out who really cares!
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Yes once the will comes out the vultures descend, be careful though as I found to my cost if your husbands estate had any real value,nothing should be distributed until probate is granted if needed, please take care feel the support on here kind regards Ron.
I try to keep busy much as i can its hard to get motervated but we got to push ourselves its when we stop it all comes flooding back i lost my Husband also my lifelong friend within 16 months my friend truly understood grief she had lost so many family members i really miss them both ive got other friends but they dont understand how i feel
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So true N865 its awful how heartless some family members can be , dont let them wind you up , its shocking how some people react he was your husband do things at your own pace sending hugs
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@RoseGarden “We’re here for you, when you’re ready.”
Probably means - when we’ve pulled ourselves together, and there’s no danger of us causing them discomfort by us crying or losing control. They want us to be back to normal asap, it’ll make them feel better.
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I think you’ve hit the nail firmly on the head
Sending hugs x
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I am sorry and I feel your pain 
It’s still so raw at 8 weeks I can remember at 8 weeks I was still numb and unable to accept that I lost my angel and soulmate
Sending so much love and big hugs xx
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It is so hard to get motivated but I guess we’ll have to keep trying hard and harder until it becomes our routine - in the end it is totally worth it to not let grief consume us
I am so sorry for your losses within such short period of time so heartbreaking for you
Please take care - big hugs
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Some people can be so heartless! The last thing you need right now is unnecessary nuisance you should be allow to grieve peacefully!
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Thank you,I really struggle when talking to people to go from we to I,and my phone has gone remarkably quiet,calls,txts,e mails seems to have dried up,even the blumming scammers seem to have given me a wide berth,big virtual hugs back.
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