I am having counselling over the phone Ive had 5 sessions I have found it helpful to talk
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I think talking does help x
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Hi there I’ve got friends parents that have dementia so awful for you to witness and horrible for your mum…
I’m not really sure what’s happening with me if I’ve accepted my Chris passing as I’m not crying lots anymore which in turn makes me feel really guilty…I’m just getting on on a daily basis. I still chat with him as I’m wondering around the house… but I’m not lighting candles sobbing over the dinner table like I was it’s a year next month… is this normal behaviour I wonder…
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I’ve read an article which saying as time passes you may one day be able to learn to live with grief, meaning you will be able to get on with your daily life while simultaneously still grieving on the inside - so perhaps, that’s what’s happening to you? So I assume it’s normal!
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Thank-you that makes sense and I’m so glad you had a better afternoon…
when I think back to a year ago I still can’t get my head around how everything seemed normal then to wake up the next day expecting to wave my partner off to his mums for the week to never seeing him ever again… I just have this awful feeling that it’s all going to come crashing down and the grief will return with a vengeance…
Look after yourself 
Glad it’s helping Pam I had my first last week and just spoke the whole hour I was like an overboiled kettle… I had the choice to do a zoom or face to face… I preferred the face to face session.
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Hope you get your counselling soon mine took 7 months they did apologise
Thankyou. I hope so too.
I hope it helps you
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Hope your counselling comes soon
I get days were I think what’s the point and have no motivation then I have small
Spurts of right I’m going to do an hours gardening window cleaning some baking ect… i get a real
Sense of achievement then the next day I think what was the point it’s just me here looking at it…
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I waited 6 months they are so busy and I would off waited longer for face to face but I think it do help x
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I had my 3rd telephone counselling session today. What my counsellor says makes a lot of sense. I really try to take it all on board but since Sunday I having lots of tears and those feelings of that immense loss of yr partner is consuming me much of the time. The agony of the loss of a partner is exhausting too.
Thinking of all others on this special forum who are feeling the heartache.
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Not good.
This is the time when he would he would tell me it would be ok.
Really lost, anxious.
Feel so aline and separated from him at the moment.
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Dear @Ilovehorses
I so resonate with what you wrote.
I too have little motivation to do things in house and garden.
I work full time so Mon - Fri filled with work…
About now in the week I think right at the weekend ’ I WILL SORT THIS OR THAT, TIDY THE GARDEN ETC’
then the weekend comes and all that goes out the window. The weekend comes and all the issues with dealing with weekends alone, Sunday evening comes, and I think to myself , ‘oh I didn’t do anything again’’
Occasionally I do do something , but like you it’s not usually more than about an hour ( can’t cope with more than that). Pleased with myself briefly… And then exactly as you say the feeling WHAT’S THE POINT ?
Life alone is so rubbish isn’t it.
Work makes me tired and weary but my grief just totally exhausts me all the time.
Few people can understand the difference between these two feelings.
Take care my darling
I often read your posts and I can see you try really hard to be positive about how we deal with these bloody awful cards we’ve been dealt.
Time for me to paint that smile on my face, go to work and have to lie when I’m asked 'how are you? ’
Love strength and hugs to you
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Dear @Cathphil
Thankyou so much for your reply what a kind and thoughtful person you are…
I apologise I lose track of posts on here only because I dip in and out leaving comments every now and again… I can see a few people have built up a repor…
your right I am trying to be positive but every now and again I slip back… it’s coming upto a year on 8 th July and I’m going away to do some fun activities with the family… without any expectations…
Please tell me about you and your journey your welcome to PM me…I noticed your in Southampton I’m about 50 min away if you ever wanted to meet up half way say in lyndhurst for example…
Take good care x
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I’m so sorry I hope your both getting support from your GP what an awful position and strain to be under sending virtual hugs x
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Thank you everyone.
Like many people on here, I needed to tell people how I felt. It is a real ease.
So far, today is better. I really hope it continues.
It is so difficult when we are in the depths of one of the dips on the rollercoaster.
The dips are truly horrendous.
Also, we can never be certain when they will end.
I hope I can look back on this post if/when I’m in a dip in the future and that it reminds me the dip will end 
Thank you again, love and hugs,
Rose xx
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Thinking of you Rose.
I think I am getting over my current little dip but still have the tight, knotted stomach. It will pass but oh how horrible it is .
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Thank you @Elite ,
I think (hope) it is passing.
So glad your dip seems to be passing.
The dips are indeed horrible.
Fingers crossed for both of us.
Much love,
Rose xx
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Yes 
Rose.
Wishing you and all our other friends on here a good evening. Xx
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Not at all, I am glad it makes sense to you and hope you are no longer feeling guilty. Me too, I still find it hard to believe that my angel was going to work and never came home and my whole world crumbled that day - it still hurts so much every time I think about it 
I guess we’ll never know when grief is going to hit us so we’ll just have to go with the flow and deal with it if/when it does.
Big hugs x
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