Its 18 months now since i lost my husband , some days are better than others ,today is a bad day .
It doesn’t help that my eldest son is depressed as well, hates his job, he is a lovely senstive caring lad who has taken a lot of flak from nasty people in his work ,he has left there now, but he has got loads of mental health issues because of the abuse he took from nasty people, luckily he has a great wife and 2 lovely daughters who.kerp me going.
I am a bit estranged from my youngest as his partner and I do not get together , she has caused more heartache and trouble since she came into his life , but he loves her and will not have anything bad said against her, tho other people see her what she is.
I miss my son , he also is a very caring lad, maybe this is the problem ,? We are all too caring and get hurt too easily . Their Dad was very upbeat and seeen rhe funny side of things , think thats what we are all missing the most, he always seen rhe funny side and didn’t take things too seriously.
I have been refered to the mental health team as I am so depressed with everything, on antidepressants at the moment .
I did have counselling but it did not really help me, though my counsellor was lovely.
Like all of us on here , this life is just awful since we lost our partners ,but I just dont seem to be able to move on at all.
Love to all of you going through this hesrtache and pain 
Sending big hugs 
I am so sorry for your loss and what you’re going through, I think losing your life partner is the hardest thing to deal with. I do hope you find the help you need, just a thought when I was put on antidepressants a few yrs back it took 3 different kinds before I got something that worked. Perhaps you have tried others though.
I lost my husband of 47 yrs 13 mths ago and it is so, so hard but I find the support on here helps a lot knowing you are not alone and others really understand how you feel!
I hope you won’t have too long to wait for the help you need, sending big hugs xxx
I find guilt hard to shift I’ve had it all my life
But today was a better day I kept busy with gardening and sat with my daughter down my friends beach hut in the sunshine although chilly…
hope your okay today x
Thank you 
Thank you, it is a nightmare without your life partner, no one knows how hard it it is until it happens to them , but as you say thank goodness for this site here where we can let off steam and everyone understands .
I do hope the help.i get will help me too.
I was with my husband for 50 yrs ,I met him when I was 17 and he was 20. Sending lots of love to you and everyone on here. Xo
I do hope
It’s so hard and lonely to carry on without the person you have spent most off your life with
The person who cared for you and knew all the little things about you that nobody else does
and you loved them for all there funny ways
and now they are gone
You have to try and go on alone missing them every day x
What a coincidence thats how hold my husband and were when we met 17 & 20 xxx
So very true it is very hard and they listen to your concerns and give good advice, losing that shoulder to lean on and having to deal with it all yourself when like us you have been with them since you were so young and in my case at 67 its so hard not having my rock to lean on, take care xxx
I totally understand it is hard. I keep questioning myself over and over what I could’ve done to save him, why didn’t I google about the symptoms he was having at the time etc. I even say sorry to him whenever I cry myself to sleep that I should have been more attentive to his wellbeing knowing that he was never incline to complain about anything - I should have known better. My counsellor once said to me that she was concerned that I would only harm my own mental wellbeing by blaming my self over what happened. I totally agreed with her and since have been trying to tell myself that - hard it maybe but I keep and will keep trying.
Please be kind to yourself and try not to feel guilty if you can.
I am glad you had a better day today - it was good to have your love ones around and the sunny weather was definitely a blessing to us all 
hope the sun continues to shine!
I had a better day too thank you, went to Ikea getting a few things for the kitchen, just needed a couple of items but ended up spending most of the afternoon looking at everything in the store. Window shopping can be so therapeutic - I walked out of there feeling calm and peaceful, fingers crossed the feeling stays 
Hope your better day extends to the weekend x
Not at all
It’s going to be a very hard and emotional few days. It will be a year tomorrow that my darling husband was taken into hospital on blue lights on the Saturday and he passed away on the Tuesday. I really don’t know how I am going to get through the next few days. I have got through birthdays and even what would have been our 50th wedding anniversary but this seems to be so much worse. I hate this life without him.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending big hugs and love
On my first anniversary of his passing last month, I had to get away from home as I couldn’t bear to be home alone so I went to Paris for one night with a friend - but somehow ended up spending the night crying in the hotel room 
Sadness and heartbreak go with you everywhere! I too hate life without my angel
I hope that your next few days are filled with peace, love and support from your love ones.
Hi Annie Just take the day and emotions as they come it’s a year for me on 8th July and I know I’m going to be an emotional wreck but with family around me as I’ve booked time away…I’m sat crying now I hate these long lonely summer eve…
will be thinking of you tomorrow take good care
You’re welcome & very best wishes x
You know I have the exact same thoughts why didn’t I insist he get his chest checked because he was having pains… I was one of those people who always diagnosed something before the dr and was right most of the time…I know he would hate me feeling guilty though he often told me not to feel guilty on many other occasions…
Your councillors is right though it’s not doing your well being any good…
I was okay today lots of gardening now I’m sat crying upstairs wishing he was here with me instead of yet another lonely eve x
In hindsight…we could have done a lot of things…but we didn’t…
Right now self care is probably the most important thing to focus on I guess.
I am sat upstairs as well - these days I practically live in my bedroom, which is where I feel safest! I am up here at six p.m. sitting on the bed either reading or watching TV on my iPad feeling so lonely and empty every night. I cry less than I used to…maybe I’m getting a little more used to living with grief perhaps? Or maybe the grief will just creep up on me someday without any warnings who knows! Oh well, I will just have to be prepared when it hits me again.
I hate this empty life without my angel
Hope you have a peaceful weekend x
Sending you a very big hug xx