@RoseGarden Thank you.x
Do you know what I would probably be the same upto bed early it’s 10.15 and I’ve only just got my puppy to settle he keeps me busy there are days I wish I didn’t have to deal with him and just concentrate on me…
But others when I’m grateful I have to drag myself out of bed to walk him come rain or shine… I had my first invite out from my Chris best friend and his dad but I made my excuses I just can’t face it…
family over one day this weekend to help me build some flat pack furniture… I hate flat pack… My Chris was amazing at building stuff…
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Dogs are affectionate and amazing we have 3 dogs in our office - all three are adorable!
We do need ‘me time’ occasionally and especially now more than ever - but at least your puppy helps distracting you from loneliness I’m sure.
I know we are helpless without our men - mine used to take care of everything in the house I took it for granted that he would be here forever.
Now I have to learn to take care of everything and it’s so overwhelming!
I must say I feel a little more confident as I have learnt so much in the past 13 months having been thrown in at the deep end! Hopefully one day I won’t feel so overwhelmed.
Take care xx
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@Angel1309
I’m hoping that too… My OH did everything paid the bills, booked and planned our holidays, did all the odd jobs I really did take him for granted also… we are all on borrowed time… just had a phone call from my sister her husdband had a heart attack today… his okay stent fitted and in intensive care and only 57… it really threw me hearing that…
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I am so sorry to hear your news - I hope that your sister’s husband is recovering in good time. Good thing he was discovered soon enough and was saved! Life is just so unpredictable, you never know what’s around the corner, it makes me think I should try to live my life as if it was my last day!
Take care xx
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Thankyou for your well wishes 
I was made quite cross last night as my sister said he has taken know notice of having a heart attack and ordered a KFC whilst in the hospital and kept talking about how he couldn’t wait to get back down the pub! This upset me a lot as we didn’t have the choice for our partners and he has effectively been given a second chance… so I didn’t have a good night I was crying a lot and pretty depressed one step forward and two steps back again 
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You’re very welcome Well, sadly we can only do so much for our partners and they are responsible for their own wellbeing too - more so than we should be! I know from my experience that even small things that don’t usually upset me - can multiply and upset me ten times more! So please take care and don’t let this upset you as right now I am sure you agree that you need to focus on your own grief which is already so heartbreaking 
Take care xx
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Have been doing sort of okay for a little while these days, I even feel a little guilty for not crying as much as before - then bang - everything turned upside down with one stressful week at work! Grief seems to creep up on you when you are stress or at your lowest - now I’ve realised!
So one giant step backward, crying, saying sorry and reminiscing over my angel’s last few days before he passed " What I could/should have done that might have saved his life and why didn’t I do that?" I even cried in the middle of the yoga class this morning and nothing I could do to stop it - fortunately, no one else noticed!
Fingers crossed next week will better as the awful week is now over so hopefully I will be taking a tiny step forward again 
best wishes to everyone 
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Same To you sending hugs x
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Hope you sleep well tonight after the trauma of A&E!
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Ahh I did sleep better thankyou
I watched the Michael Mosley documentary
and made sure I had some probiotics before I went to sleep and for the first time I didn’t wake up at 3am! So sad about what happened to him…
It’s not a very nice morning to wake upto rain here in Dorset.
Hope your okay x
Sorry I wanted to reply fully yesterday I was so tired after my all nighter in A&E I’m sorry you had a horrid day at work anything like this tends to bring up our emotions it’s so difficult not having our angels to support us in times of stress… I really hope you have a better week next week…
I cried at yoga last week… the breathing and relaxing at the end gets me every time I guess we are in such a state of relaxation it becomes easier for our body’s to release stuff…My teacher is so lovely and totally understands when I’m getting a wobble please don’t feel embarrassed I’ve also felt guilty for not crying my councillor said this is a normal part of grieving and that everyone has different stages .sending a hug x
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This grief journey we are all in is one long rollercoaster, up days and down days, up weeks and down weeks but one thing for sure our partners are always on our minds even when we don’t even realise it! We just have to take the ups & downs as they come along and deal with them the best we can, I hope next week is better for you and remember our partners would never begrudge us the good days or good weeks because they know deep down we are always thinking of them in everything we do 
big hugs to you xxx
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Please no need to say sorry at all I hope you have now fully recovered from the all nighter in A&E. Thank you I do hope for a better week from next week …
Ah so you did cry at yoga as well…good to know it’s okay and it happens to us all. I must admit crying has made me feel better afterwards, drained but lighter! His best friend kindly came with me to the cemetery today as the memorial plagues were placed on the anniversary of his passing on 2nd May so we needed to tidy up the ground and decorate the grave. We spent a couple of hours there and it now looks so neat and ready for the roses and lavenders to be planted on top once the ground settles. Feeling so accomplished having done that 
Big hugs to you x
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So true, so comforting thank you. I got up this morning feeling a little better, said good morning to him as usual…talking to him makes me feel he is always around by my side guiding and watching over me just like the way it used to be . The sun was shining and that helped lifted the mood too! I do hope next week will be better fingers crossed .
Big hugs to you too 
xxx
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Yes I too get comfort from talking to him every day and saying good morning and good night, I have done that since day one and think I probably always will.
I’m happy you found comfort in what I said, I say the things on here that I feel and think, I am glad it can help, because I have found comfort from many of those who are on this forum!
Thats all we can do on here to comfort and find comfort from others on this same journey we are all on and I know for a fact it helps me greatly, take care & look after yourself as your partner would have wanted you to xxx
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I can totally resonate with your every word. TBH, I don’t know how I would have coped so far without this amazing forum, so thank you so much everyone for reading, sharing and supporting - I am truly appreciative.
Please take good care everyone
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Yes, we all are going through the same devastatingly sad and lonely journey so we share and support one another throughout this horrible ordeal! Let’s hope that one day it will get better
sending love to everyone
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I talked to my husband to ask why?? Why he left me in this torment ! How can someone say they love you but deceive you and lie for years. Someone you trusted and believed in, lied and cheated. I dont know how im suppose to grief or even how im existing. 
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