Angel1309, I suppose I could do that. My Dad’s ashes were split in half at Mums request. Half went under their golden wedding rose bush while the other half were dropped from the Lancaster bomber Dad was a rear gunner in during WW2. I will decide by next summer for certain where he will rest. He actually wanted me to take him to the Red Sea and take the family for a holiday! Two things wrong with that; a) There is a warzone there just now and b) Much as I’d want to we don’t have enough money to do that now. So I thought somewhere Devon/Cornwall way where we used to SCUBA dive in our younger days!
@Retired2 Don’t believe he would want you to be in danger going to the war zone! Where you used to SCUBA dive sounds so lovely and nostalgic!
Very best wishes 
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You will do it in your own time dont let anyone rush you its 2 years in November for me still struggling waiting for a greif counselling space , i had my monthly check in phone call today , irts been a bad day for me so the councillor got it all bless id messaged my best fried telling her this i said i bet the poor councillor wish she hadn’t phoned , my fried just replied …i bet she did , wish upset me i needed a hug and reasrance ill be ok !!
My daughter got home tonight from her foreign holiday, so I’m looking forward to a hug tomorrow
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It sure is the new norm, but it’s just awful some days! I had my 6month old grandson for a sleepover last night,( the only grandchild he never met ) there is nothing like grandchildren to take your mind off things though my older grandchildren always talk about him when they visit they will always keep his memory alive that’s for sure xxx
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It is so good to have things to look forward to, enjoy your time with your daughter.The normal mundane days are the hardest when your retired xxx
I still find every day really hard I’ve had my 7 year old grandson most off the holiday and all I can think is how Steve is missing him growing up
I don’t really see any of the other grandkids
I’m very miserable without Steve x
I’ve been trying to get myself motivated and keep thinking of going somewhere just for a few days, but so unsure of how I’ll feel, but until I try it I suppose I will never know. Will be 4 years at Christmas since I lost Val after 50 years together and its left such an enormous hole in my life that can never be filled. I really hope your time away will be enjoyable though we know it just cant be the same without someone we’ve loved and lost. Take care
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Met up with her today and bonus my eldest grandson has come home with me for a sleepover. No more loneliness
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Thats great news, enjoy time with your grandson xxx
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Somedays are awful somedays are okay thankfully! My daughter and her family live out of town about 2 hours away so I don’t get to see them so often but I have learned to embrace solitude and finally feel quite comfortable being alone - with my angel constantly on my mind - most days. So, carry on floating along with life…till the day we meet again xx
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We didn’t just lose our love ones - we lost our whole world without them 
Life can never be the same again - I try to live life with him by my side, although not physically, doing all the things that we used to do together, going places we used to go together and that has helped me to cope so far! I had a good time during my trip thank you, I talked to him while walking the streets of Nice throughout the day and felt as if he was there enjoying the scenery with me so the trip was definitely worth it!
Best wishes.
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I;m sitting here reading your post with tears rolling down my cheeks, I lost the love of my life the day before Christmas 2020 and for me Christmas is nothing to look forward to, it holds too many sad memories. Now I try to block out Christmas and the only card I put up is the same one each year that my darling struggled to write just a couple of days before she passed…it means the world to me . I’m in bits, Take care
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Aww bless you Geoge . I am only 10 weeks in today on this awful horrendous journey. I have never felt a pain so strong. I am so lonely and lost. I send you hugs Jo xxx
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I am so sorry.
Sending a big hug
Rose x
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Gorge73
Iwe all feel your pain gorge its hard but we put a brave face on for our kids and grandkids pretending to be ok , im also dreading Christmas it will be 2 year for me but iknow ill do same as last year brave face pretend im ok for my grandkids ,grandad would not want me to spoil Christmas for them so happy face then i can let the tears flow when im back home , sad but true
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Thanks so much, we all need to support each other, as you say this is a horrendous journey we’re on. . I feel now that our home is nothing more than somewhere to eat and sleep where before it was a place that was buzzing filled with happiness and laughter and always something going on We were always larking about and did absolutely everything together, made decisions together but now I just feel lost and hopeless and seem to have lost all interest in just about everything. I just exist day to day . Thanks for offering a listening ear, hope we can all feel better soon. Take care
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I know that feeling Gra and I did everything together he was retired he was 16 yrs older then me. Our home became a house the day he died also. Its got no happiness in it anymore. Its just a place I stay a lonely empty place.hugs Jo xxx
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Gorge73
I know what you mean its hard nothing in our home has any meaning anymore sometimes i think shall i sell up and move but think it would break my heart id feel like id be leaving him behind with all our lovely memories miss him so much grief is worst pain ever , my cousin lost his wife 12 months ago now got a girlfriend i suppose we all deal with loss in our own way but carnt imagine being with anyone else
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Me too, people say " Oh, in time you’ll probably meet someone else" sorry but someone else isnt the same. I’m not looking for a substitute, I know Val would want me to be happy and I’d like to be happy but I’m so overwhelmed with sadness and flooded with memories…its so hard. Our local crematorium where we had the service now runs a “Bereavement Cafe” once a month, where they offer tea and cakes and have councilors and celebrants to talk to and you’re among others in the same situation and I find this helps a little just knowing others are going thru the same thing and how they’re coping …or not. Take care, keep ya chin up.
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