I’ve had a friend to stay for the weekend, very busy as there was a music festival in my town. Lots of socialising and fun. Now what?
I can’t bear being alone, without him.
3 Likes
It’s going to be a very hard day tomorrow we would of been married for 43 years tomorrow
We always did something even if had a hospital appointment because we had so far to go we would stay in a hotel and have a nice meal 
I do hope I don’t spend the day on my own
4 Likes
After being out anywhere its really hard coming home to an empty house, don’t think I will ever get used to that xx
1 Like
Anniversaries are very hard I hope you will find something to distract you sending hugs x
1 Like
I find listening to music very painful, I used to love listening to my music with AirPods in when gardening or out walking but now its too upsetting xx
1 Like
Yes, all the lyrics seem to have taken on a different meaning now. I am still reeling with shock sometimes, it doesn’t seem possible that he isn’t coming back. What is odd is that I do the big, official stuff, like Probate, but a screwdriver left out ready to use, or an SD card ready to put our last holiday photos on the computer just undoes me. Xx
1 Like
Yip some things just hit you like a sledgehammer when you least expect it, sometimes I look at a photo of him and I still can’t believe he wont ever come back, I lost him 15 mths ago and some days it feels just like yesterday and tonight in Aberdeen its already dark at 9pm, those long dark nights are the worst I just dread another winter without without him xxx
6 Likes
13 weeks for me, I try not to think about anything further ahead than tomorrow, that’s about as much as I can handle for now. Xx
3 Likes
It’s never ever going to be the same . No matter what I do it feels so wrong without him by my side . We are all on this road . Bless everyone of you
6 Likes
Gorgi
People keep saying it gets easier ? Ive had my 4 grandkids sleeping over weekend very busy but i love to have them , but today back to silence just me and my 11 yr old dog which i adore, but sometimes i think if it wasnt for my kids and grandkids,dog what would be the point of carrying on this lonely heartbreaking journey! My friend stopped asking me how i am …think she sick of doom and gloom it will be 2 yrs in November for me people think i should be over it , i miss him so much we had been together since ages 17 yr old he was 59 when he unexpectedly away, nice to talk on ere because we all truly understand x
3 Likes
@Tinatina you are so right . People think is all over but how can we get over it when your lose your absolute love at 58 . Very few ask how I am and they are friends . Family don’t . I am very let down
3 Likes
Hi @Tinatina. It’s less than 2 years since you lost your husband and he was young so I’m sure you had lots of plans for what you could do in your older age together.
While you have lost your husband, you have also lost all your future dreams, hopes and stability
I’m only 5 months in and i know for me this will be a long haul to some form of new life and acceptance. I hope I will get to a place where I can start to live again, but at the moment it feels like a very cruel endurance race where you don’t know where the finish line is or where you can have a rest from all the grief.
Others really just have no understanding - I know I didn’t so it isn’t really their fault. It is perhaps just our burden to bear as we continue through life - I’m trying to accept that but it’s so hard on top of all the sadness and grief. Never thought I’d be here at age 52 - hubby 56 when he passed in March.
Sending love and strength to all on here today xxx
5 Likes
Roni52
Its so true what you saying , we dont know how to make a life without them but i do know its a sink or swim time for me but just now im floating along which will have to do for now hopefully one day we all will be able swim again ! , my friends have still got husbands i thought they stop caring but true what you say they dont know the impact until it happened to them , sending hugs to you all x
2 Likes
I find that people who I see occasionally ask how I am with genuine concern.
Closer friends are now expecting me to move on. One asked me why I’d been upset recently, when I didn’t answer she said, “Oh, yeah”.
On a night out at the weekend a couple of friends were making suggestions about men I might be interested in. As if. I can’t imagine what I’d even say if someone asked me out.
5 Likes
Sadly we do all know what its like, I too was with my husband from the age of 17 & him 20, he passed from a short 5 month journey with cancer at the age 68, and I know I will never get over that and I just hate living alone too. He said after the diagnosis “if the chemo helps me to reach my 70th I will be happy.” It’s a cruel illness thats for sure, But the chemo did not work for him and the cancer spread further. I nursed him at home he wanted to die in his own house and thats what he did at 06.13 on 1st May 2023 with me by his side xxx
4 Likes
My partner said he’d be happy with just a few more weeks when he was diagnosed but he only lived seven more weeks and dies last week. I keep reliving how awful it was for him, how he cried at the loss of independence and strength. I remember how difficult everything was for him and all he unpleasant things and I feel traumatised by it all.
2 Likes
That’s it, our world is standing still. Although we still worked we were always together, we planned our working time so that we could be together. Everything I do just doesn’t have any reason anymore.
5 Likes
Floating along at the moment is maybe exactly where you need to be at this time.
My friends also still have husbands although one lost hers suddenly 3 years before mine and although I was around to support her, it was covid and it was difficult to really be there. And I didn’t really understand.
She is good at times but her grief is so different from mine and when I asked her about how she managed to deal with all her kids grief as well as her own she didn’t understand. Her children didn’t share their grief with her like mine do with me.
She also had a very different relationship with her husband so has managed to adapt more easily than I am.
I had been looking for someone who would really understand what I was thinking and feeling until I realised that person was my husband - and he can’t be here for me anymore.
The reality that I won’t have that closeness ever again is mind numbing but has made me realise that I need to find ways to cope with these feelings and thoughts on my own. So it is a work in progress - but at times a very sad and lonely one, even though I am rarely on my own.
Sending strength and love xx
7 Likes
Hi Claire, thats exactly me. Val & myself were so close, we did everything with each other and for each other, but since losing her I tend to just sit around, knowing things need doing and in a way I want to get on with them but like you say I just cant be bothered, cant seem to see any reason for things now.
6 Likes
Exactly my sentiments 
best wishes xx
3 Likes