I think we all need a push into doing things , no zest for life everythingis effort. Xxx
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Hi Jo.
I agree you have to make an effort to keep things going,
I do get a little fed up of people saying “you have to get out of your comfort zone”
Quite frankly I don’t want to,we have enough on fighting battles we never wanted without going out searching for more.
I hope you’re feeling better.
Love Ron x.
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Hiya Ron yep I get the same things said to me. What do they want us to do? I try every day , but they dont understand how hard it is. Hugs Jo xxx
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George73 it’s a nightmare and i really feel your pain 
and it’s horrible what we are going through and i was with my husband 16 years and married nearly 5 and the pain and i have no confidence anyway and my husband and bestie made me feel better about myself and losing so many people is hard. You were married alone time and it must be hard for you and it’s hard to move forward and to try and do anything. Hope your having a better day. Take care 
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What a beautiful thing to do xx
I find lighting the candles helps me.
I hope it brings some comfort xx
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I keep promising myself I won’t post any more because I know I’ve repeated myself so many times.
Then - why do the tears flow every morning?
Why does everything seem so pointless?
Now this is going to sound really stupid - Bill loved Jammy Dodger biscuits and I find I can’t open a new packet because he’s not here to have them with his coffee.
Earlier in the year we bought some solar powered figures to go in the garden. Because the weather wasn’t good they were ready to go out but didn’t actually get put out. I have now put them back in their boxes to go into the loft. More tears because he’ll never see them. Is it just me.
It’s because I loved him so much and wanted to share everything with him and now I can’t - it’s heartbreaking
Sorry, I’m repeating myself again. Just ignore me and I’ll try and pull myself together.
It’s 11 weeks this week since the love of my life passed away and I miss him more and more every day. 
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Harriet everything seems so hard I know , it was 13 weeks yesterday since i lost Gra, everyday I struggle with even the simplist of things.
I want to show him how well his rose bushes floweed how many plums we got on his tree, he was the gardner not me.
I think all we are going through is normal.only others who are walking this path truly understand.
Hugs Jo xxx
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Dear Harriet,
It may not seem like it but it is early days for us.
It is not stupid with the Jammy Dodgers, by the way my husband loved them as well.
I went out in the garden and there were some apples ready to be picked.
If my husband were still here, he would have made a crumble with them.
However, I couldn’t bring myself to make one, too emotional.
So I gave the apples to a friend, who was pleased with them and said
she would use them ……… in a crumble.
We understand.
Take care,
Rose xx
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Nothing is too silly or stupid to say. If something hurts you, the chances are that the same thing hurts somebody else here.
My husband died in May, we had just fed the roses, 150 of them. We had bought a wisteria and a magnolia tree but not planted them. Now I look out of the window and the summer has gone, the roses are starting to go to sleep. And he missed them, a whole season has passed. To other people I am stating the bleeding obvious. But it is more meaningful than that for me.
He was in the middle of several diy jobs and his tools are where he left them. I have disposed of certain items that even some people here have commented on, but I cannot move his tools. We all walk our own path, avoid what hurts, take comfort where we can.
So, please don’t think you are being stupid, please don’t apologise or feel you post too often. We are here to listen and send support. We know what you are going through, because we are going through it with you. Xx
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Thank to everyone. Sending my love and hugs to you all 
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Harriet please don’t feel bad for posting on here.
This is the place where you can let it all out. Especially when it’s an awful day/ week/ hour - all the time really.
We all do understand - we have been there - are there - living the same nightmare.
Let us support you - as you support others. It helps us all to be honest and open here - a win win situation. And we could all do with some of them at the moment.
We are all stuck in our own Groundhog Days at the moment. Just keep going. We will get there in time. Xx
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Hi, I can totally relate to your comment regarding your husbands tools, some things have a much stronger impact than others regardless of how others may view them. I lost my wonderful wife almost 4 years ago now and everyday still hurts. Val was an avid dress maker etc and she spent hours in her sewing room, she loved it, always coming up with a new creation. It was whilst she was ill and hopefully on the road to recovery that we bought a new sewing machine, one that did embroidery too, and she had it all set up along with all her cottons and threads etc ready for the day she felt up to it, but sadly that day never came and she passed away, the day before Christmas 2020 without ever doing a single stitch. Everything is still just how she left it and I can hardly bare to go in that room, such sad memories. I go to pieces most days just like most of us I imagine, They say things happen for a reason but life is so cruel. Take care
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Life is very cruel. me and my husband did everything together. Evertwhere I go I look for him, but he’s not there anymore only in my memories. when I look at the back window, I look for him sitting up the garden, when the Sun is shining, but it’s not there anymore only I’m my memories It’s a good thing people can’t take your memories away from you so we have something to cherish x
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It sure is Pam but those memories can also cause so much pain. I know its only early days for me, but I still find myself looking for Gra, reaching out to hold his hand. Still wanting to ask him so many things. It hurts so much when I think I am never going to hear his voice feel his touch. Life is so very cruel. Xxx
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It’s been eleven months months for me and it don’t really get any easier I still keep looking for him .i send him messages in hope he will answer it’s silly really because I know he can’t x
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Its only 13 weeks for me, but I dont think its silly at all. Its trying to hold on too them. Hugs Jo xxx
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It is the only place that I can really talk about how I feel …. Internally broken and lost . Thank you to all who help on here
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I think we are all just fumbling through each day. I know I am. Likewise this is the only place I feel I can be honest and say what I am really feeling. Hugs Jo xxx
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Just had to collect a prescription from the pharmacy. Decided to go to Boots which is on our local retail park. As I had to wait for it I had a wander round Matalan and The Works.
I had been on my own for over 20 years before I married and it was lovely to be able to go out with my husband - either shopping or garden centre or just mooching. Now I’m back to being out on my own and I hate it. I’m just not ready to be back as a single person. I must have looked a bit zombified. I just wandered, not really seeing anything, just wishing that my Bill could be with me, nipping along on his mobility scooter. I really don’t want to be on my own again. I’ve been there, got the tee shirt, don’t want to do it again.
BUT THERE IS NO CHOICE IS THERE.
Tears when I got home. Missing him so so much.
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