Pam14. I sympathise with you. I can’t get over the fact that my husband isn’t here anymore. I know he’s gone but I miss him so much. Floods of tears every morning 
It’s soul destroying.
Love and hugs to you 
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Don’t worry, I’m still in bed wondering what’s the point. I know I need to get up but there’s no shape to the day that gives it purpose.
No one to say” what’d you fancy doing today” and then off we’d go for a drive or walk or shop or nothing much.
Dementia. Bridget started to disappear years ago. It started with a hard punch on my arm because the shed was untidy. So out of character. I told her “ never hit me again “. Then little things. Over time she forgot things and then forgot me.
I glad she’s free of double incontinence, anxiety, sat in a chair all day. I just wanted to care for her and love her even though she didn’t love me.
Peter
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Hi
Dementia is such a terrible thing I’m sure she did love you
It is awful trying to fill your day I just sit with the tv or the radio on
My husband Was told he had cancer in 2020 and passed away in 2023 after going through all the different treatments and I miss him terribly
Sue
Of course its not weird we all feel the same, thats what I love most about this forum you learn that all the feelings you have in all the different stages of grief is perfectly normal and you are not the only one feeling those things, I am 17mths into this journey and though I may not be on here as much as was at the beginning it still feels better when I do and after all its kind of only fair that we still come on to help & encourage others who may be at the start of the journey. I know for me as long as I have all my faculties I will always use this forum xxx
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Hello @Pam14 . Thank you for the reply. I have to believe there was something left in her that had affection for me. At least we had a reasonable relationship in the care home.
I’m so very sorry that your dear husband suffered for long 3 years. It all leaves such a hole in our lives. Obviously Bridget wasn’t expected to live very long after the diagnosis in
2017 ( average 5 years apparently) but she lasted till 2023, and during the Covid years. She was loved in the care home and loved by me.
I don’t miss the random bizarre behaviour of dementia, I miss my articulate, funny, capable and caring Bridget.
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Losing your parents within two years and then your life partner - I am so sorry for your losses.
I agree, you can never get over it! The best I can do is try to take one day at a time and hope to balance the beautiful memories and the pain in the long run so that life will be more bearable. My angel passed away just a day after yours, 2nd May 2023 he went to work and had a heart attack and never came home. What happened on that day keeps playing on my mind over and over again it’s so painful to think that he was all alone suffering in his last moments without me there by his side. I talk to him every morning, afternoon and night feeling he is beside me 24/7 and the thought helps me to get through each day.
I will carry on working as long as I am able to…I am just sorry that my angel’s life was cut short before he had a chance to put his feet up after years and years of hard work.
Please take care xx 
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I am sorry to say that it’s been rumoured that the pensionable age may increase from 66. However, unconfirmed so finger-crossed it’s just a horrible rumour!
Missing him seems to be the first thing that hits me every morning around 5-6 a.m.
big hugs
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I’m not getting mine till I’m 67 which is bad enough .
Nearly 10 years away
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My husband died may 2023. He was 67 and went to work one day and had a massive heart attack and died instantly. A nurse tried to resuscitate him but he was gone. We were married 40 years. I remember the police coming round to tell me every single day. I lost my soul mate, my best friend.
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So sorry for your loss x
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That must have been so hard out of the blue like that, I can’t imagine being told that news, what a shock it must have been ! We were prepared for it, wouldn’t say it was easier but at least my husband could plan what he wanted for his funeral and who was getting what of his rings etc, divided amongst the grandchildren, which he gave them while he was still able, later he was bedridden !
It was such a short time from diagnosis to him passing, 5 months xx
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My partner died 13 weeks ago. He went to our holiday home for a little break. I tried to phone him and had no reply. My son went there and found him, he had already gone. He was 61!! This sad emptiness is beyond anything I thought possible.
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Hi everyone.
It’s 8am and I’m sat here in floods of tears - again. Why does this happen every morning. I love and miss my Bill so much I just feeI I can’t go on like this.
I don’t want a “new life”. I want my old life back and I know I can’t have it 
I know we’re all in the same boat and I hate going on about how I feel. I just don’t know what to do any more.
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@Harriet4Bill just do one thing at a time.
Don’t think about this afternoon or tomorrow or next week.
Just focus on doing what needs done, eating and getting moving a bit, and then trying to focus on doing something positive for even 5 minutes.
Let the tears come and then let them pass.
It will get easier and you will start to accept and adapt to this new life that none of us want. Just trying to accept that times are tough at the moment and this is how things are might help ease the pressure you are putting on yourself. Be kind and look after yourself xx
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That is good advice. After all we here are going through stuff that others can only imagine. We need to do anything that keeps us going, makes us feel we can get to this afternoon, the next morning.
If you feel like doing ( or not doing stuff) who cares! It’s your journey not theirs.
It does get easier or maybe less hard. But only over minute bits of time.
Peter
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So sorry for your loss that must have been a shock for your son to find him, and very hard for you.I hope you find comfort on this forum, I know I did, it helped me a great deal and still does.
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I feel exactly the same.
My darling husband died 7 weeks ago after 49 years of marriage.
I found him collapsed no warning , no preexisting heart condition.
No chance to say goodbye nothing
I have amazing children and grandchildren. We are all griefstricken. The children have gone back to work.
I want them to be happy again. Im trying so hard but am so lonely in spite of people being around . I hate this new life . I feel adrift and the tears are getting worse.
I dont want tablets , Im just so so sad . My heart goes out to all the people on th8s thread. I wish you well
Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated. Heartsand
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I’m sorry for your loss
All you can do is take each day as it comes
I’m nearly at my first year without my husband and I miss him terribly and I’m very lonely
But I do have moments where I can laugh now
It’s good that you have a good family
Take care x
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I’m
So sorry for your loss I lost my beloved last year he was only 51 the grief was so raw and some days still is but doctor gave me tablets to calm me down I was angry that he was taken so soon leaving us all behind but I have memories his music as he was a DJ and a tattoo in his memory my friend also made a ring with a piece of his hair in which I wear all the time they say grief is love with no place to go so you bring it along with you all the time just take each day slowly cry as much as the tears flow etc but reason I have tablets os to calm me down my heart was hurting and my head as constantly crying which can’t be helped this group is amazing everyone looking out for each other and no judgement take care of yourself x
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