I just want to scream I just miss everything about my life and my family are only interested in what they can get out of me
I’m feeling very sad and don’t know what to do
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You told your story that was not going on. You and your wife went through a traumatic time it must have been so hard for you both we can only imagine, made worse by covid rules, that alone would have been horrendous ! Thank you for sharing your story with us sending a virtual hug xxx
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Pam none of us like our new lives im sure.
Be strong.
Im not trying to defend your family I dont know them but i just know im really sad and superagitated at the moment.
Maybe they dont realise.
I find anyone outside of my children in the family just upset me with it will get easier mantra
Sending a big hug.
Heartsand
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So very sorry Pam.
It is so difficult when you don’t receive the support from those you thought would be there.
Sending a big hug xx
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I totally agree - I love and miss him even more now…
sending hugs and strength 
X
Sorry to hear…sadly money is the root of all evil as they say! I would try to focus on self care and put aside all the things that bring us down as right now our mental wellbeing has to come first! We need to be able to grieve in peace in order to survive this dreadful journey.
Please take good care.
Hi all, this is my first message on here so please forgive me if I have jumped in a conversation that has been ongoing for a while but each and everyone of you resonate with what I am feeling. The effort to just keep putting one step Infront of another and keep on keeping on since my angel passed 3 months ago after her brave fight with asbestos at such a young age has destroyed me. The loneliness and loss of direction identity and just the small things like cooking her favourite meal or cuddling up to a box set together, the little things. I want to see that it will get better and I want to keep going to honour her and live the way she always wanted to but with our anniversary being Halloween and her birthday Christmas day every day seems to be getting harder not better. But the promises made to live and be happy feel like a million miles away at the moment. Reading all your own posts gives me some comfort in a warped way to know these feelings and what I am going are normal, even though a some what wicked normal. I think it’s time for grief counselling, so if any one out there could recommend services they have found to be of great comfort it would be greatly appreciated x
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I’m very sorry for your loss. I lost my partner 3 months ago. We had lived together for the best part of 40 years. He was 61. The shock and numbness of losing him. Turned into the most unimaginal grief and loss. If I hadn’t found this site. I would seriously have thought I was going insane. I never imagined anything so deep and hurtful. Have a good read of the topics on here. Start a topic of your own to ask specific questions. Take care and be kind to yourself.
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Hello @LeeBl
Really sorry that you’ve lost that one person so dear to you. We on the site are here to support you.
I have found after losing my wife just over a year ago that it’s just a matter of plodding day after day through the awfulness of grief. There are good books that I can recommend ( I’ll post later) that may help.
Counselling may help but there is a long wait for free counselling. A private one is around 50/60 an hour but be careful who you choose as they do vary enormously in effectiveness. Go to one who only does grief, not one who covers everything like smoking, flying, spiders,etc.
Just keep posting. Just keep going
I’m So sorry for your loss
All I could say is just try and take one day at a time. It’s just coming up to a year since I lost my husband.
I have had Counselling and found it a little Helpful I’ve just joined a Sue Ryder grief kind Group which I am finding helpful
The best thing you can do is be kind to yourself and take one day at a time
Take care
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Hi thanks for the kind words, the honesty is appreciated. As you all know the waves of emotions are insane but it’s being around people that are open with how they are feeling no matter how dark or how encouraging they may be. Fri nds and family just don’t seem to be able to say the right things, they all come from the heart I am sure but telling me I need to find a way to move on and what have you makes me so mad. I don’t want to forget, I don’t want to live on not thinking about her or saying good night to her picture or put the things away that reminds me of her. I tried visiting the places she loved and do the things we loved but they generate more loss. I am at the early stages I know but Vicki had a terminal illness for over two years so I thought the shock wouldn’t be as great as it is, after telling myself I was grieving the whole time. My brother also passed several years ago from bowel cancer and Vicki was my rock then. I thought that loss was hard but there’s no comparison to losing your soul mate.
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@LeeBl I’m so sorry for your loss . I hope you get some help from seeing the posts on this site . My son accessed counselling from our doctors . He didn’t think that helped . He goes to Andy’s man’s club and I think that is helping . I haven’t had anything myself .
So sorry for your loss and I’m sure u will find some comfort on this forum. I cannot help with the counselling as I never went down that route but I’m sure others will be able to help x
I have started counselling. As yet not sure.
Again counselling is a bit hit and miss. If you find a counsellor that helps you ( as I did after several tries) then they are very helpful.
I used to go once a week now I dip in when the mood takes me. She is okay with that. 55 pounds an hour. I suppose she has made me think more realistically about the situation. We all need different things because the one thing we want and long for has gone and I’ve never really accepted that my Bridget won’t come back. But at least I don’t wake up at 4 o’clock crying for her. For me that’s some progress.
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@Ilovehorses oh my love it’s not . I too lost both my parents my mum was only 50 . The pain of losing my soulmate is on a different level I agree . It’s so different and difficult now . I try and fill my life with stuff to do but he has left a massive hole that I will never fill
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I am tired of being told it will get easier. It isnt and i dont like cutting my husband out of the conversation like he didnt exist.
Some friends and family are good. Others not so. I guess its the same with everything.
Stay strong . Heartsand
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I’ve been the same some friends are ok some not so they tell me to move on and find someone else don’t think so I have no intentions I only had 3 years with my fiancé and he passed suddenly last year she 51 so sad they say it gets easier no you just have to take each day as it comes find counselling not so good and I take medication for depression he had his whole life ahead of him and loved his music being a well presented DJ I miss him so much grief is just love with no place to go this group helps me sometimes other days I listen to his music and other music to help me Anita to life without him sorry for your loss just take one day at a time x
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It is so hard @LeeBl - we too have our wedding anniversary coming up on Halloween. This year would have been our 32nd anniversary and he died aged only 56.
I’m 7 months in and it doesn’t feel any less sad or less devastating but I have found that he isn’t in my head all the time as he was for the first 6 months. I still love him with all my heart and I am still always sad but the pain is easier to manage - perhaps we just get used to carrying this heavy burden.
Time in itself doesn’t heal but it makes things less raw perhaps.
Just try to get through the days and don’t think too much of the future.
Sending strength and hope xx
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