So sorry for your loss and please no need to apologise for joining in - this forum is what we all need to air and share our grief and support one another through this sad and traumatic journey. I found grief counselling to be of enormous help - it was recommended by my GP, provided by a local charity, free of charge but donation was welcomed. In between the sessions I found myself looking forward to the next session each week and by the end of 12 weeks I requested for additional sessions and was granted another 6 weeks for which I was ever so grateful.
Big hugs 
x
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I have had 3 group sessions of counselling through the hospice where my partner died.
There is only 5 people in the group with 2 lovely ladies running the group. I am finding it helpful to personally be sitting with others who have lost someone close (but not necessarily their partner or spies) and like Angel 1309, I look forward to the sessions.
I have a block of 6 but already feel that I would be happy to continue beyond that.
However the need for these services is so great, that I am happy that I was offered 6 sessions.
Sending love to all our friends on this forum. Xx
I’m feeling lost today it’s 52 weeks since I lost my husband
I just keep crying I wish I could feel better
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Oh Pam im with you as im sure are all others on this group.
Stay strong .
I was ok till about 10 minutes ago too.
Think happy thoughts . Im sure thats what our husbands would say
Heartsand x
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Sending a very big hug on this very sad and difficult day xx
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sending hugs
Morning everyone.
I know I’ve posted on here before. I don’t want to repeat myself but I’ve got nowhere else to go.
I lost the love of my life on 26th June this year, after almost 10 years of marriage.
We did everything together. Everywhere I go I can see him. I have to go shopping but still see him nipping round on his mobility scooter and it “kills me”.
I’m crying far more now than a few weeks ago. I don’t want to but the tears just keep coming.
I know we’re in this together but I feel so totally alone. I’ve got no family of my own, Bill was my life. When he passed away my life went with him. I’m sorry to go on but I don’t know what to do any more. I know nobody can really help. I have to get through this but I miss him so much it’s indescribable. I just feel I can’t go on. He’s left me with a lovely house and all the things we bought together but the love has gone.
There’s no point to anything anymore.
So sorry to put a dampener on this morning.
Love and hugs to you all. 
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It’s still very early days for you
Have you tried counselling? It may Help you I’ll try and join a group that’s helpful. It gives you other people to talk to see if you’ve got a sue Ryder Grief, kind group in your Area
It’s my first anniversary today of my husband‘s passing my days are not very easy We were together for 42 years and did everything together I have no friends
It’s very hard trying to make a life on your own when you don’t really want it
Thinking of you sending hugsX
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Thinking of you xx
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I am so sorry.
It is very difficult and painful.
The only thing I can add, which you may be doing already, is I tend to shop where we didn’t go.
I know it’s not much but it has helped me with the shopping.
Keep sharing on here.
Sending a big hug xx
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So sorry for your loss. We are in this together but we deal with our grief in our own way, whichever works for us we just have to go with the flow. The most important thing right now I believe is our physical & mental wellbeing so please take good care of yourself - I know it’s easier said than done but we’ve been dealt a very cruel card sadly.
My angel and I used to do everything together too, my whole world fell apart the day I lost him and now I try to carry on doing exactly the same but on my own thinking that he is beside me doing, going with me everyday - that works for me and I am settled for that!
Almost 18 months in, I still miss him so terribly, upon waking every morning without fail! It’s been no change since his passing so I don’t think it’s going to change anytime soon and I have now adjusted to that.
I don’t believe it will get better but I believe we just gradually get used to grieving as time goes by, but the love, sadness, loneliness and emptiness will never leave us.
Sending hugs and strength
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Hello @Harriet4Bill. Don’t worry about repeating yourself, I do it all the time.
First of all good morning. I’m so well aware of those feelings you have. I lost my wife of 34 years last September after her long struggle with dementia. We all knew it was inevitable but still a shock when happens.
I find many things difficult. Just getting up in the mornings is an achievement. Sometimes I’ve no energy for life and little motivation. Like you I have this lovely house but without her life in it. And yes, we have to do all this on our own.
My take on it is this - I have to congratulate myself for the things I do do. Even if it’s a walk to Morrison. The time of year doesn’t help😩. The sad fact is that we have no choice but to go on even if we feel like “what’s the point?”. I’ve thought about ending it all but I only think about it as I’m sure many here do.
It will get better for you, but it takes time and that’s not much comfort to you right now I know.
It’s said that suppose it would have been the other way round - he loses you. He’s saved you that. My poor Bridget doesn’t have to mourn me and go through what I’m going through. Grab any comfort you can, as I do, from anywhere. We are allowed to feel the way we do because our whole world has been turned upside down and makes little sense.
Peter
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Hi. Thank you for all you’ve said and I send you my sincere sympathies for the loss of your wife.
I know you’re right in so many ways. I know we have to get through this but with no-one to “let off steam to” it’s difficult.
Bill wouldn’t want me to be like this but it’s because I love him and miss him so much that sometimes I just can’t stop the tears.
Thank you for your kind words and understanding. Let’s hope that, however difficult, we will eventually get through. We just have to take a day at a time and deal with the emotions when they occur.
Sending you my love, thanks and hugs.
.
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First of all I am sorry for everyones loss on here.
I was hoping after 9 weeks that the pain of losing my husband suddenly after 49 years of marriage would ease a little but its getting worse with dare i say it an emotion of me feeling sorry for myself for the years ahead without him and lost opportunities.
My children and grandchildren are amazing and grieving themselves but everything in the last few days is a trigger. Im trying to keep myself busy. The children are trying to keep me busy. My daughters and I are just so so sad
I see now how peoples lives are going on around me and i know my husband would be distraught to see the family he loved so much and cared for in this state.
I know im going to become ill if I carry on like this adding more to my childrens anxiety.
I am struggling, functioning but struggling.
Can you help on this wonderful forum to see some light. Thank you
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I know that dying is part of life but losing someone close seems so mysterious and peculiar. I mean, one minute they’re there breathing, still alive, and the next they have stopped breathing and died. I find it so unacceptable,
What’s it like to die? I keep wondering what my Bridget would have experienced, if anything. She had a massive stroke and spent 10 days slowly fading away. I went home after spending all days and nights beside her bed and the moment I go home for some rest they let me know she’d died.
And although I know she doesn’t know anything now, she’s at peace, I still feel for her suffering and continue the to need to care for her. I cared for 4 years while she was in the care home and it’s difficult to stop now even though she’s not alive.
Peter
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You still care for Bridget. You have never stopped. You care and keep the love going in her memory. Love is very special, To love deeply is a gift. Sending a hug
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Hi
Im so sorry to hear of your recent loss.
It is so early and i remember these days well.
For me now 1year and 5 months since my husband passed away.
It has been lots of ups and downs over these months although not as intense as earlier days. I dont have any family support but have managed to get through with help and support from friend’s
I also have joined widows group and new hobbies line dancing bowling and volunteering for Macmillan.
It is not easy this new life but just taking one day at a time is the way forward.
No two days the same some good and some not so good but we get through these days.
Take care look after yourself Lynne
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Worked from home today…so busy but so empty and so lonely…kept glancing to the right where my angel used to sit and work alongside me… 
…I hate life without him
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Am I like some others in that I find this whole business of dying totally mysterious and, for me, unacceptable.
I wish I could accept what some say that dying is part of life and quite natural. Bridget took ten days to die from the large stroke that happened in the care home. Ten days in the hospital sedated and with me there day and night just waiting. She took her last breath without me there as I took a break.
To go from breathing to nothing I find extraordinary. I just can’t get my head round it. I can understand being unconscious as I’ve had a general anaesthetic myself. But to die, to go into oblivion I find awfully scary. I hope and pray that she felt nothing - no pain, no fear.
Even now, when there’s nothing I can influence or alter, I still feel for her and cannot let go of the need to care for her. Is this abnormal? Should I be this way?
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We spent all of our time together. He went away to our caravan. He died alone and I will never get to hold him again.
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