Kathphil
So true iwas 58 yrs old when my husband unexpectedly died at age 59 it will be 2yrs 26th November , my friend’s still got husband’s they dont understand i get impression they think i should be over it ! They stopped asking how im doing now think they think im doom and gloom , grief really changes us, friends say chris would want you to move on and have fun , maybe he would but im just still taking one day at a time ive got kids and grandkids around me but feel so lonely, i put a coping face on when they around and break my heart when alone , dr gave me some antidepressants to see if it helps im still on long waiting list for grief counselling , because other than on ere understands what its like to deal with losing their other half
Hiya, think we can all relate to your situation. I’m the same, try and put on a face when out but completely go to bits behind closed doors, we all do it. Over the years we;ve all lost aunts, uncles grandparents etc and as sad as those times were it somehow seemed more “acceptable” if thats the right word, but losing your lifelong partner, the one person who was there day and night ,come what may, is a whole different thing and until they’ve experienced that no one can even get close to understanding just how devastating it is. I doubt any of us gave a second thought to one or the other of us not being here at some point, as obvious as it is, and when that time comes it hurls us into a whole different place that we have to somehow adapt to. It’ll take time, maybe a long time to get to grips with our new “life” but we;ve no other choice. I hope you get some help from your counselling and that your doctor can give you something to help too. Take care, remember we’re all here for each other
Thankyou so much got to keep going im a carer for mum and dad who will be 90 next year , mum got dementia its hard because some days i just feel like curling up in a ball buti carnt , bless them i never thought for one minute id buy my husband first
Yeah my darling, I know, I understand, I was only 57 , and only just- my birthday in July, and my husband died in the August.
Too young to be a widow (horrid/disgusting word!)
I’ve no idea how I’ve kept going. I think the only reason I have managed/coped is because I still (over 2 years) refuse to accept it’s true. I’m still in denial that it’s really happened.
Far too scary to accept it’s true!
No one understands, family are the worst. They still think that I can be ‘fixed’ ‘mended’ ‘cured’ that I will ‘get better’
It’s more and more exhausting to deal with people, who simply do not understand that I will NEVER be the same person ever again .
I don’t blame them for wanting the old me back, I want the old me back too, I miss her so much
… But she’s gone. She went the moment my husband died😢
Sorry, I’m rambling, just really struggling at the moment x
I know how you feel. My partner died on the 31st July last year and I miss him terribly.
I’m still in the house we lived in and there are too many memories here. I’m having to move out as I cant bear the thought of being here without him.
For some reason I can’t accept that hes gone my brain wont let me accept that notion.
I cant stop thinking that he’s at the hospital waiting to come home I have to get his sandwiches ready and his cuppa as well.
Thats the idea my brain will accept.
There’s not a day that doesn’t go by when I think of him and wish that he was here 
All I want is to have my papa bear back.
Stay strong 
You’re not rambling @Cathphil
I completely understand where you are coming from.
I’m almost 8 months in but my family are of no support to me at all and just don’t or can’t be with me in my grief.
Folks just want me to be my old self and when I’m not they disappear again - probably to return in another few months to see if I’m back to normal yet.
The more time I spend with my old friends the more they annoy me - telling me all about their holidays, plans for the future, promises to arrange coffee /dinner that never quite happen or the latest one is that I should go see a medium.
I’m fine if people see a medium and it’s helpful, but that isn’t for me. 3 times I had to tell my friend categorically that I did not want to see a medium. They just don’t listen.
I’m slowly making some new friends through new hobbies and it’s so much easier for some odd reason.
Now I’m rambling on - I do miss my husband as someone to vent and talk to. As I’m sure we all do.
Sleep well all xx
I miss my confidant. I could tell Richard anything. I could trust him with anything. I also miss the unconditional love he gave me. I could rely on him for anything. My goodness I miss this lovely, kind, gentle, funny man. 
Absolutely feel the same.
Such loss and heartbreak- it’s just utterly crappy.
I miss him always being there looking out for me and just knowing how I’m feeling.
No one else will ever be there for me the way he was - and me for him too.
I miss him so much it physically hurts. This life is cruel. I will never find another Richard. He wasn’t perfect, neither of us were. We had been together so long, we knew how eachother ticked. We would fall out and he would say “you were a right cow today” i would reply “moo” That was it, everything was ok.
That really sums it up.
There will never be another person like my husband.
I miss him so much, it hurts.
I feel the same i miss my husband who was taken so suddenly without warning so much. It hurts. 10 lonely traumatic weeks that ive survived with an amazing family of children and grandchildren.
This forum helps me because i know im not going mad rather than those who want me to see someone for medication or how to manage triggers. Everything is a trigger at the moment . Just leave me to grieve and cry . I have a few hours every day when i dont cry but who wouldnt grieve and cry when youve been with someone you love for so many years. Its normal. Wishing us all a better day today. Heartsand
My loss was just over a year ago and although anticipated, it was a shock. I’ve just come back from a long drive and the empty passenger seat really upsets me. It’s things like that when what was normal has disappeared.
The very act of helping her with the seat belt, leaning across, getting her settled. I remember after several weeks in the care home I took her out to a cafe. Just to have her back again in the car, doing something together, just as a couple, it was heartbreaking to have to take her back to the home, to return to the family home on my own. I cried all the way back.
There’s so many things I miss. Ordinary stuff.
Peter
Peter I’m totally with you on this. Like the saying goes “You never know what you’ve got, till its gone” is so very true. We’d all give absolutely everything just to have back even the normal, mundane things, things that we just took for granted. When I lost my wife to cancer she spent her last 2 weeks in a hospice and even though we knew the eventual outcome it was still an enormous shock and something I’ll never get used to. If only I could have the old days back again with my soulmate would be my one wish… Take care mate, hope things become a little easier for you
Hello @george73 . Thanks for the reply. Doesn’t get any better does it. Just sucks.
I do wish I could “ see the bigger picture” as they say, instead of continuing to concentrate of the small intimate details. I guess it’s the stuff that makes the biggest impact on our minds. Ordinary stuff tends to be taken for granted.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Someone you love slipping away from you is too hard to bear, and I personally felt a bit of a failure in that I couldn’t protect my Bridget. Unrealistic I know but, like you, these unresolved issues I think I’ll live with for a very long time.
That is so true, if I could bring him back what a feeling that would be, I miss him so much it’s just so hard. Of course I know he no longer suffers with the cancer but I also know he didn’t want to leave by the sad look he gave me just before he passed he looked as if he was going to cry and that image tortures me now, cause he was not a man to show if he was upset xxx
Sorry I have nothing positive to say tonight its just one of those evenings where he’s on mind, probably because I was out for lunch with family and I feel guilty, stupid I know cause he would be the first to say go and enjoy!
Hope you are all having a better evening than me xxx
@roni52 & @Mbg
I can totally resonate with you both - word by word…
Life with my angel was so precious… the connection so deep …nothing will ever replace those 37 beautiful memories of our 37 years together…
Take care.
I have been on this journey for 2.5 years, it will be his birthday on Saturday, the 3rd without him. He was only 52 when passed, I have my family and work colleagues and still have our 19 year old daughter living with me but it’s in the evening , when my daughter is up in her room that I find myself all alone and miss him so much, I have good days but a lot of days when I think it’s still not real and he’ll walk in the door from work, it hurts not to see or hear him, to tell him about my day. My daughter is a good listener but I know she finds it hard when I’m upset. All any of us is take it a day at a time. 
Hello all my understanding grief friends.
Having a tough time dealing with family over the dreaded C word!
How is it they can all have ‘legitimate’ reasons for not making certain dates… Cos of work dos, couple commitments, their children
… But apparently being widowed for 2 years, means I should be able to do what suits them because I don’t now have a husband, and we were not blessed with Children.
I wish I was an animal that could hibernate over winter, and so avoid Christmas.
Sorry everyone… Feeling extra vulnerable tonight, and I don’t even know or understand why 
Oh @Maria7 it is so hard without them.
I am also finding the time on my own so hard.
I still feel like he’ll come walking through the door and miss him all the time.
I also have 4 young adult kids and my youngest is just 16 - they are finding it so hard without their dad and my heart breaks for them. The thought of the years ahead on my own don’t near thinking about.
Sending hugs and strength to you on this awful journey xx
I’m so sorry @Cathphil you are having troubles over the impending Christmastime.
We always loved Xmas and I could never really understand why people didn’t.
Boy, do I get it now.
I’m sorry people are being less than considerate- hopefully you can do what feels right for you. It’s such a hard time for us grievers.
Sending some hugs and strength xx