Nor can I all I keep thinking is I’m in a nightmare and I will wake up and he will be there
It is so hard when you have been with someone for so long
Sending hugs
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I am so sorry for your loss. I can resonate with how you feel as we too used to do everything together - the only time we were apart was when we both went to work and during the lockdown when we had to work from home - being together 24/7 had brought us even closer than ever! Now, I try to carry on doing exactly what we used to do - but very sadly - doing it alone - it’s sad and empty but thinking about him and feeling him besides me has helped me to carry on…
Please take care…
sending hugs 
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Sending hugs and strength…
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Hugs
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Thank you, I understand that it will be a case of getting use to the massive loss. The brain accepting it. Yes I do take a day at a time it’s all I can do.
My husband would hate me feeling so bad, but he knew I would. He was the kindest most compassionate person I ever knew or will ever know. Thank you x
I am so sorry for everyones loss on here. I am 12 weeks in and the pain is so bad but i am leaning heavily on my amazing children and grandchildren to find a way through. I am very mindful of how much my children are grieving too . My husband died traumatically in front of my daughter and myself. We had been together for half a century. A lifetime of love.
My two other children were round in 10 minutes just after the paramedics arrived. I have to hold it together for their sake. And the grandchildren. And me. My husband lived for me and his family and would be devastated to see us like this. I know he will want us to smile again and this is driving me on through this terrible sadness. This forum is stopping me going mad. Its not a group any of us wanted to join. But selfishly to know all my emotions are normal and im not going insane is helping.
I feel half of me died too on that terrible day in August but the other half wants to be there for all the family events, to see my grandchildren thrive and grow up. Its what my husband would want. I wish you all well and lots of hugs
XxHeartsand
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Im feeling annoyed today im suffering with foot/ankle pain got pysio this afternoon my frieds and i have got a group chat i had told them about my appointment told them ive not got a clue where im going ? Not one off them offered to go with me which upsets me because im always the one to take them for appointment shoping etc (idrive) is it me over thinking or am i being over sensitive,
No I think one of them should have offered. I’m finding out who real friends are, I’m feeling used. I’m in a bad state because of the obvious and I’m struggling to not be in goods of tears all the time now. I look absolutely terrible I caught sight of myself in a shop mirror and didn’t recognise myself. Yes I am still helping friends, yes it is keeping me occupied but I don’t think it’s really appreciated. I’m realising with my husband gone how much I need people and that makes me vulnerable.
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Bless you yeah im a people pleaser beging to realise people take advantage of my kind nature , they no longer ask how im doing if i mention ive had a bad tearful day they seem to change subject i dont want any of their sympathy just for them to understand i need to talk about my husband ,i went to doctor last week because my head was such a mess told my frieds in chat but they replied hope you feeling better soon … i felt like saying im not poorly! But they dont understand
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Decided to visit Bridget’s grave this afternoon. It’s a woodland site and very exposed so couldn’t stay long. I always think I’m doing a bit better until I sit on my camping chair next to her and then it hits me. I miss her so much and the finality of the grave rubs it in.
Anyway, I talk and tell her what’s I’ve been doing and what we used to do, the good life we had before bloody dementia.
I’ve calmed down now but all this heartbreak stays with me.
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People definitely take advantage, I’ve found that out quite a whole ago. Nobody can understand this crippling grief unless they have had or are having it, it would be impossible.
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I feel your pain and sorry for your loss I lost my fiancé to drink etc last July he was only 51 had 3 years with him he wasn’t an angel and neither read I but we cared for each other a lot and I loved him dearly engaged to be married and that’s what breaks me as it will never happen I miss him every day I too don’t talk about him much to friends anymore or family as they change the subject I cry every day and night doctor has given me tablets but all I want is my fiancé back I blame my self for not saving him come the end I found out he cheated not sexual but other things that his has destroyed my faith in human people especially men I have no desire to move on and meet anyone else I feel a failure but I wake to fight another day I have to for my girls just take each day as it comes and if you need to chat I’m here xx
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I go to the cemetery every weekend (when I am not out of the country) since my angel passed away. I tell him what I’ve been up to each week. I feel so loved and comforted while driving back home every time!
I miss him so much and find myself loving him more now than ever!
I find that there’s a tremendous need in society to return to normal as soon as possible. Us who have lost our love ones can never do this as our world is no longer recognisable in many ways.
Those around me, my friends, family and neighbour’s, even those who I consider the most understanding and caring, even they never ask how I am when it comes to losing Bridget. She on my mind each day, sometimes it’s harder than others and then I have periods of calm.
Maybe it’s the fear of upsetting me, of embarrassment, lack of just not knowing what or how to say it. We’re never taught this stuff.
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Peter11
I find same my friends know i got to point where i needed to see my doctors because im feeling so low as soon as i sat down i just broke down crying , she was so nice understanding she gave me sertaline tablets i go back to see her tomorrow but even though my friends know this only one of them aked how i am but i just say ok because if i say how im really am they change subject, im supposed to be going to shopping centre with them after my dr appointment but im dreading it ! its exhausting to pretend im ok when all i really want to do is scream at them to understand they have lost the old me
I also think we remind them of what is to come.
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I’m finding same, friends don’t ask me anymore. I think they think I’m back to “normal”. I’ll never be the same again. Yesterday I didn’t have a bad day but today is my husband’s funeral anniversary and I can’t stop crying. I was out in garden this morning (in slippers!) and a robin came and touched my bare toe. I’ve never had one come that close before. I am hoping it was a sign from my husband. Lots of hugs xx
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Sending a big hug xx
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Robin was definitely a sign letting you know hes still with you sending hugs to you all
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