It never is jooles the shine as definitely gone even now I hate carols and Xmas songs I went to see a show with work first time glad it wasn’t Christmasey I didn’t go for meal or drinks but you do feel you have to make effort and glad it was November couldn’t of gone in December I’m having a night out on 28 th December it’s 70 s and 80 s night with my best friend she as lost her mum so understands I couldn’t go out for a year and a half for big night after mum but my friend and I live to dance so will be good
That fuzzy feeling of Xmas I haven’t got any more try and make the best of it that’s all I can do love jage
Such a shame. Isn’t it. I hope it comes back one day for sake of my children. I need to make their childhood Xmas ones to be remembered. Like my parents did for me. Take care Jage. Thank you for your comforting words.
Jooles I’m sure you will I think being on my own doesn’t help I’m hoping I will meet someone in the future and then things will get better ,I haven’t been in a frame of mind to meet a guy but now things are getting are looking brighter I am so I’m sure that will make a difference in my life ,you will enjoy Xmas with your children it is so early days for you I’m sure next year will be alot better and happier I hope so for you and your familyou take care jage
Jage I’m sure when you are ready you will meet someone. And you can make new memories. We will all have to make new memories. They won’t be the same. They will be different. And Xmas will always be full of longing for that person. But one day it won’t be as raw I hope.
Year jooles your right I think December is not the best for me my mum’s anniversary Xmas and I buried my mum over Xmas I do feel alot better than I did I do enjoy things I have changed as a person IV realised who matters and who as been there for me you will find out who really cares I used to run after everyone in the family no more just the few who have been there for me I’m hoping next year is a new start for me, just get through the next week the best you can that’s what I did last year I’m hoping this Xmas day will b lot better than last year as time goes on you do get used to that person not being here it’s hard but we all have to carry on I think the first b day anniversary and Xmas are bad but as the years go on it does get easier sending best wishes jage
Thank you Jage. Best wishes to you too. Hope each day gets a little easier. You will never know what comfort your words have made. Soothed my broken heart. Xx
Hi Cheryl.
I totally understand. Although my Mum was a little older than yours. We had no reason to believe she would die. None. She was fit & healthy. Had just recovered fully from a hip replacement. Was as independent as always
Yet today. She is gone ???
I do so hope you are having as good a day as is possible
Sending love
Justine xx
Thankyou Justine. I hear of others who only make it into their 50s and 60s and think to myself that mum was lucky. Apart from arthritis she had no health scares, no cancer, no illness or suffering. But then I feel cheated that she was only 74 and should have gone on well into her 80s
Thank you for your kind words and support. Luckily I’m working 12 hour nights shifts this weekend so keeping myself busy and distracted and barely noticing xmas nearly upon us.
Cheryl x
Oh my dearest Daffy
Sending love & strength. I know it doesn’t help too much. But I’m thinking of you xxx
Justine xx
Oh Shaun
I so understand. Work at first was a distraction. But as ( I feel) people start expecting me to “ get over it” perform as normal. I too am ready to explode. I understand it’s uncomfortable for all around me. But I want sometimes to just shout “ I’ve lost my mum” and I’m not the same. My concentration wanders. My head is full of memories. And I can not. Just can’t bring myself to enjoy this years xmas celebrations. I will contribute of course. But don’t expect too much of me
Work is closed now for a couple of weeks. So now I’m home alone with the foreboding of Xmas. Seems I can’t win either way
Sending much love. Justine xx
Justine Daffy and Shaun the way people think after a few months that your back to normal is horrible I just don’t understand it and because it’s Xmas everyone thinks you’re going to enjoy it no matter what but when your grieving time does stand still for a long time that bubble your in is awful it is so hard to get out but you all will slowly bit by bit I know life seems endless at the moment but there is light at the end of a very long tunnel I can’t put decorations up because my mum died in this room while tree and everything was around her next year I should be moved and hope to put them up in new place send all my love jage
Thank you Justine. Your kind words do mean a lot.
It’s lovely that everyone on here understands what we are going through.
None of this is easy, but slowly it should get better for all of us. x
I’ve just found a message on Facebook from my mum 6 weeks before she died she’s at work and dancing to the music that’s playing in the shop. I don’t understand how someone can die from cancer without knowing it and be dancing just 6 weeks before. How does that happen? Im having such a weird day of denial today.
Joules
I’m the same as you. Working, not interested in the least in going out, partying socialising at all.
I’ve got no interest in xmas and if mum was still here, we would have been watching the corrie xmas special.
I’ve got no interest in that either. Instead I’m on the internet researching strokes and brain hemorrhages wondering why mum got one and wondering why she didnt survive.
Why I didnt see the signs and wishing so hard that June never happened and we were still in may with a hot summer ahead of us.
But it didnt happen that way and instead mum did get a brain hemorrhage and she did die. And we will never watch corrie again.
I still cant believe it 
I research cancer and symptoms and signs. I want Xmas to be over with. But think I will dread the summer. Mum died on one of the hottest days. I’ll never forget how hot that hospital was. How I would step outside of the hospital into that heat. Everyone in shorts a clear blue sky. Then I would go back into that bloody hospital with the machines. And the bleeping and the noise of her oxygen mask and her wide scared eyes. I look at my photos of the summer before she collapsed and it’s like a different life a different person. A life I was enjoying but unbeknownst to us mum was slowly dying
I know and we had no idea what torture lay ahead for us did we?
I hated my time at the hospital too.
I wonder why these things happened?
My sister would say, we all have to die cheryl.
You know what everyone one of the worse things for me is the acceptance it was horrible, that pulling yourself together thing whenever I have a bad day I always say that to myself but I think even as time goes on were all allowed to still have them all our mum’s were special, and you never get over it but pain gets a bit better and we all find our own way to live with it I got a tattoo with mum on I love it and a heart just a little thing for me and mum for her anniversary thinking of you all this holiday love jage
Well, I’ve just received a Christmas card from my partner who I’ve been with for over a decade. On the front it reads “ I’ve never known a Christmas, as wonderful as this.” I’ve said nothing.
At the moment I wish I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon, so I could clonk him a few times.
It’s a loosing battle. The vast majority of people just don’t think.
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I would HAVE to make a sarcastic comment