I’m sure we will daffy. It’s just sad that they are missing out on everything.
I still cant believe she is gone. I keep going over the say she died in my head. She was so apt going in for her operation and I wonder if she knew something had gone wrong?
I wonder if she knows she died as well. I hope she doesnt.
Its just so surreal like another lifetime ago even though it feels like yesterday she was sitting in her living room or making my daughters packed lunch.
Got to get through the next few days x
I agree totally with you my mom loved life and she would of been worse than the kids today, tears won’t stop today to many painful memories, dreading tomorrow, she would phone me at 5.30 just to make sure I was up lol, thinking of you all xxx
It’s so bloody crap. Thinking of you all. I keep getting told to do it for the kids. Well I am doing it for the kids. But that doesn’t mean to say I won’t cry.
Of course we are doing it for the kids!
But I wince every time my 12 year old tells me how excited she is. I think how can she be?
This is the equivalent for me of her losing me and her dad. Then I think she is just a child and doesnt realise. Life hasn’t hurt her enough yet x
Tracy,
Mine was a big kid too. This house would be noisy now with mum singing away and dancing instead of walking. She would probably be on her first glass of wine by now.
I just cant believe she isnt here. 27 weeks without her and I still feel the shock enormously.
Wishing you an ok time, as good as it can be.
Cheryl x
Jooles45, C1971, Cheryl, that’s the only reason I’m doing it for the kids, if I had my way I’d sleep through the day and forget the bloody lot, mom loved Christmas and same as your mom she would be hyping everyone up, 13 weeks tomorrow mine, not coping today, dreading tomorrow, thinking of you all xxx
Its such a shame isnt it? Mums xmas wasnt affected like this when her mum died. Although my ban did have a long life dying peacefully at 91 years old. My dads mum was 74 and died a horrible death with breast cancer but my dad didnt seem to let it ruin his xmas that year.
I, on the other hand can barely think of anything else but mum. Why she had to die, why she had to get to only 74, thinking of ladt xmas in which none of us had any idea of what was to come in 2019.
I honestly thought mum might outlive my partner and I, she seemed so strong and healthy.
Life can be wiped out in an instant.
We have to get through this everyone xx
I have no kids but I just trying to not completely ruin Christmas for my partner. I want to cry out that Mum should be here. I intend to try and “do” Christmas, as well as I can and in my own way. I will try and embrace it, if that is possible. If I dwell upon it, I crack up.
I’m aiming to watch Scrooge on Christmas day, with Alaster Sim on Channel 5.
How sad it took the death of my Mum to realise what really matters in life.
Sending a big hug to all x
Big hug back to you daffy.
I’m currently ironing watching death on the Nile…my favourite film of all time x
Just want to say that I’m thinking of you all today and for tomorrow. These past few days have been so busy for me that I’ve not had much chance to think about stuff too much. The working week was hell so I’m glad that I have a week off. I’ve travelled with my family to spend Christmas with my wife’s stepmother and her daughter and granddaughter. Only 6 of us so not a huge crowd which suits me fine. I can’t help but think that mum should be here with us and she is never far from my thoughts. I’m not too fussed about Christmas. It’s not so magical these days anyway but for my daughter it is so she is very excited. It’s through her that I find happiness and a reason to go through with it all. I had a melt down a couple of nights back but today I’m in a contemplation mood. That’s probably because I’m away from home in a place I’ve never associated with mum. I got really sad when I was wrapping presents for my daughter because it dawned on me that she wouldn’t get a huge bag of stuff from grandma this year. I remember when mum would turn up at our house with a huge back of presents and then we would groan because we knew we had no space the all the extra things. We often told her to not spend so much and to save her money. She would never listen of course! Oh how I miss all that now. I keep looking at photos of mum from this year and I can’t help but think that she doesn’t look that old which just adds to the weight of disbelief. Anyway, I’m still here with you all. Shaun x
Hi shaun,
I was wondering where you were. I also had a busy weekend working which brings alot of relief now that I’m back working full time.
I have bought so many presents for my daughter to open and I think its because I dont want her to notice all the presents missing from my mum.
Mum always did her stocking too so I’ve done that. I will try and enjoy xmas but it will be filled with disbelief that mum isnt here
The house is so serene, it just feels that mum has gone to my sisters for xmas.
Such a sad time for us all these last few months but we will get through.
Keeping busy certainly seems the order of the day.
Have an ok time shaun.
Cheryl x
I’m breaking a few Christmas traditions which i associate with both my Gradma and Mum, just so that I don’t get emotional. All of us in the scheme of things are in the early days of grief, no wonder it is raw. Our mothers knew us before we even knew ourselves. No wonder we miss them, so desperately.
Maybe, in four or five years time it will all feel more natural and less painful at Christmas.
Shaun
I love the words that you say it’s through your daughter that you find happiness and a reason to go through with it all. This is exactly how your mum thought and indeed all parents. They lived for our happiness which made them happy. This is the true meaning of their legacy. The unconditional love that was their “gift” to their children. I hope tomorrow the focus is not on our own pain and misery but on their love and all that they gave selflessly, especially at this time of year. Only the ego reflects on self. Raise the energy and send positive love and thanks for their lives and how blessed we were to have them as long as we did. Christmas is about love and peace. So I will wish you all a happy, peaceful and a Christmas surrounded by love
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Very true daffy x
Year Daffy all our mum’s are with us definitely not long after mum went I went to a spritualist and mum thanked me for looking after her and said IL always be with you I feel her hugging me it’s great thinking of you all tomorrow IV been busy but now on own thinking of me and mum we would of been cooking the turkey and watching a Xmas film tonight ,so sad all the lovely things we all miss doing with our mum’s, it’s not fair I think the longer without mum the more I miss her I really can’t believe it’s 2 years since iv seen her Xmas is so sad without her my brother keeps me going he as Asperger’s so I really try for him me and him going family tomorrow hope you all can get through it my thoughts are with you all love jage
All had best for the next few days jage xx
Thank you. Sounds like you are a lovely mum yourself. Your daughter will be very happy. I’m sure she will bring you happiness. Amazon photos just reminded me of this time last year. I love these reminders but I also hate them. I expect I’ll get another reminder tomorrow. I suppose I could turn them off but I don’t want to despite the pain they can cause.
This time last year we were all in the Alps having one of the best Christmas Eves ever. What a difference a year makes. Shaun x
Thank you very much
That’s why I hate Facebook shaun. Always displaying old photos or reminding me of anniversaries. I’m also reminded that mum is a mutual friend of someone else and I stare at her photo not quite believing she is gone forever.
Thinking of you Shaun x