I know it may not help now but hopefully in the future you can look back and think she went to sleep in her happy place ( the cottage ) and it will bring you some comfort xx
My mum was on dyalisis and it stopped working I’m glad it wasn’t the Alzheimers that took her she came home and I had 10 days with her it took me a long time to sit in her chair but I can now I didn’t put decorations up first year if you don’t want to don’t you feel like you have to do things for others but you don’t have to Xmas is such a hard time just take each day over the holiday as you can take some time for your selves even just an hour to get thoughts together and try and get through the day just think every day is rubbish at first if it’s xmas or not things will come together and one day you won’t cry every day maybe every other day and so on till life’s a bit better all have faith life will improve
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Thank you Tracy, kind words. Yes it was her happy place. It’ll always be her place. We are planning to scatter her there. It will however be traumatic going back to the same place and seeing the same bed and room but then the alternative is to not go at all and that would be a crime. The people who own the cottage are lovely too and did all they could to help us so it’s an obvious choice.
I’m glad nobody has yet told me I don’t look very happy and obviously our loved ones would want us to be happy, but as we all know, you can’t ‘just’ be happy as much as you can’t ‘just’ forget what’s happened. Some people probably think that emotions and memories are something that can be switched on and off at will! Reminds me that sometimes it’s best to not say anything at all.
Shaun x
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11 weeks today 
X
Shaun
I’m using mums decorations that she brought to our house when we all moved in together last year. I couldnt not use them either and one of those is a fibre optic village. Everything reminds me of my mum so I suppose there is no point trying to avoid any one thing in particular. Going into the garage was awful because there are still boxes which mum hadbt got round to unpacking yet even though we had moved in 10 months before she died. I’m dreading going through them.
Dealing with probate was hard enough without her personal possessions.
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So sorry Tracy it’s horrible counting the weeks I remember doing it to it’s so hard I still don’t like Saturdays but time is a great healer but take no notice of people do everything at your own pace don’t let people tell you what to do and feel as my mum died on my birthday people try and tell me I should enjoy my birthday because my mum wouldn’t want me to it drives me crazy it’s 2 years next Monday I go for a meal for my mum not me but people will send me texts happy birthday which it is not people expect you to get back to normal after time but you never do don’t let people bully you to be happy just take time and do things at your own pace everyone deals with grief in their own way things do improve and you do enjoy things again there is no time limit so just take each day as it comes my thoughts and love are with you all
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Tracy
I still count the weeks and it will be 26 on friday, 6 months on saturday. I’m not sure when I will stop doing that.
Cheryl x
You know it took me a long time to sort my mum’s stuff out don’t rush just when your ready I only finished a few months ago it’s hard whenever you do it everyday I look around my flat where my mum was and see her but I can smile now and think of nice stuff that we did you will all get there
Tracy six months is so short after six months I was still awful still raw it’s also horrible time of year everyone happy I think it is different for everyone the last six months I have sort of excepted my mum as gone and felt a bit better i miss her everyday but Tracy you will learn to live with it and enjoy things again my heart goes out to you because I know how you feel it is so hard thinking of you
Cheryl, There is some good to be had with the out of sight out of mind principle. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work as there are some things out of sight that are most definitely not out of mind. Certain possessions of mums like some Christmas decs are not out of mind. It’s a bit of rock and a hard place situation where it is difficult to see these things because they bring back wonderful memories of the past but at the same time I cannot just leave them in a box as it feels terribly wrong to do so. To me it would be like I’m ignoring my mum.
I have gone through some possessions but for a lot of them I’ve just boxed them up for another day when I feel more able to rationally go through them. Some things I may not keep in the long term but today is not the day to decide for me, it’s just too emotionally draining.
I’m sure you’ll go through your mum’s things in good time just as I will. It’s hard looking at stuff like this because it represents their ongoing life and future plans which of course they don’t have anymore and yet evidence of their existence continues.
Tracy, 15 weeks tomorrow for me. I hate this week counting but it’s hard to stop! It’ll no doubt mark a phase change in my thinking when I do.
Thank you xx
You wake up and just go through the whole day again, I try and keep busy but your mind just drifts off xx
Thank you, thinking if you to xxx
Everything is in minutes and seconds at the moment but the weekday one really gets to me, I sit and thinks it’s been 11 weeks today that I last sat and spoke to her, touched her xx
I just can’t seem to comprehend that i’ll never speak to my Mum again. The thought brought me to tears this evening. It’s 9 weeks since my Mum passed away suddenly.
Everyday, feels like a struggle.
Everyday is a struggle babe, I all seems like a really really bad dream, I was shopping today and thought what shall I get my mom for Christmas and then bang you realise that she’s not here, thinking of you xx
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I know daffy. I still think it most of the day. I cant believe it’s been 6 months on Saturday since she died.
The whole event seems so recent and it just doesnt feel that long since I last spoke to her, watched tv with her and lived with her.
The house always feels like someone is missing and her beautiful rooms just sit there unused.
It’s so awful and you feel so hopeless. There is nothing we can do to bring them back.
Considering how long they were in our life. Six months is nothing. i think it’s going to take me years to get over the lost of my Mum. If ever.
My memory at the moment is being triggered left, right and centre. Not just memories of my Mother, but also of my childhood. To suddenly be without both parents is both socking and thought provoking.
I haven’t stopped junk mail coming to the house yet in Mum’s name. I feel like I’m in denial the longer the mail comes through, the longer she is with me.
Mum’s room is unused. The emptiness shocks me every day.
It feels like some sort of Scrooge film. It’s all turned into a horror and Christmas, as we knew it won’t be the same. (Except without the money issue. )i walked around the shops today. I had to flee a few shops when certain songs came on. Just too much. i started to remember past Christmas gifts i’d given my Mum. Things from twenty years ago.
Let’s hope with time it becomes less of a struggle. x