The cost was unexpected ($700 - 425 pounds) - ouch - but at least I had some extra for emergencies - and this was…At another time this could have been a very hard financial blow to us.
I didn’t really realize just how much support she has been giving me. I sure do now!
Hope your pampered pooch gets well quick!
Hi, I was in the supermarket Quite a while ago and there was an elderly lady in front of me. She was having a good old chat to the cashier. When the lady packed her bag and went , the cashier turned to me and apologised for keeping me waiting. I told the cashier not to worry as she may have been the only person the elderly lady had spoken to today. Now I am alone , I also recognise the need to chat. I find myself talking rubbish and ‘over chatting’ just because I have found someone to talk to. I never thought I would be in this situation.
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Good evening from the Isle of Wight. Lovely weather today, blue skies and plenty of sunshine so spent the day walking with the dogs. Took them to a lovely beach which is always full of dogs and people. I always find it such a pleasure to see the dogs all playing together, racing each other through the water, never fails to bring a smile to my face and makes me feel good. I sat looking at the boats in the Marina and this was the part that made me feel sad. Brian and I spent a lot of time walking on this beach especially the last year as it is flat and he could manage it. I called him on his now disconnected phone as I would have done and told him where I was and how long I would be before coming home and of course told him I loved him just as I always did. So all in all not a bad day. A bit weepy early this morning but it passed.
So pleased Velvet is on the mend. Vet’s, what a rip off. !!!
Good night
Pat
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Thanks Pat - She’s doing well. I promised I would let her out today - she woke me at 5am with kisses,purrs and face pats with her paws. It sure rocked my boat having her get so sick so quickly. It’s taken me a couple of days to get some emotional balance back.
I’m off to meet my neighbours - women only. One woman has organized a coffee/tea/wine party for us all to meet. Went for lunch yesterday with a different group. I think of what someone said on here about meeting new people that didn’t know you before. It is a very interesting feeling - so far in the last week I’ve met 9 new women and more this afternoon. Turning into a social butterfly…
Well done you are making a real effort. Afraid I couldn’t do it, not yet anyway. I can’t even mix in groups with people I know let alone people I don’t. I’m not usually like this, I can chatter to anybody usually. I don’t mind meeting up with people when I’m out walking or at the allotment but that is enough. I’m afraid I can’t go to coffee mornings etc as I don’t drink tea, coffee or alcohol and it seems a bit unfriendly to keep refusing. I have always had trouble with this, trying to convince people that I don’t want a drink of any kind. I drink only water which I carry with me anyway, so I just keep away from these gatherings, then I don’t have to explain myself all the time and look unsociable. My father never touched alcohol either and said he had the same problem. I’m waiting for the time I can feel comfortable in company again but so far I am quite satisfied. I keep busy and meet up with plenty of people but don’t want to go out socially as yet. I refuse I’m afraid, it fills me with dread Big gathering at the allotment next week but I don’t want to go. I have thought of attempting an hour, just to see if I can do it. But so far departed as quickly as possible. I prefer the company of my dogs and don’t want to go out without them.
So pleased about Velvet. Must be a relief to have her back at home.
Pat xxx
Night night silver lady. Xx
Hi, I feel like this too, feeling very socially awkward & have turned down a few invitations to go out particularly big gatherings. However I have been out a couple of times recently but still feel a bit detached and I can get very anxious prior to going out. Being at home with my wee dog is just perfect xx
Thanks Mojo for letting me know your feelings also as I sometimes wonder if i’m going peculiar. I have met up with friends but only one at a time. No gatherings of people.
Yes, detached that’s a good description of how we feel. I have only just mastered going into town and the supermarket was a nightmare. As soon as I become surrounded I panic. A gathering at the allotment next week, with food and bonfire but can I go, I doubt it. I take the cowards way out these days and stay in by my own fire and dogs. Nice crowd, friendly, but Brian isn’t there anymore and the realisation hit me like a ton of bricks, causing tears.
xxx
Che & I lived a very solitary existence. I have a couple in town that are my friends, but other than them I have no one local, and no family. I realized from early on that I had to get myself involved with people, that I could not isolate myself all the time, which would be very easy to do. Meeting the other women in my immediate neighbourhood was important for me to do, especially with winter coming on. Many of them told me not to hesitate to ask for help, and I will if needed. They meet for lunch once a month so that will be an easy winter outing. The other group is more spread out, but full of interesting,friendly women. For a “loner” this is quite an immense step. Surprisingly I enjoyed myself both times, and felt quite proud at this huge step I have taken. And I know that Che would be happy and proud that I’ve done this for myself…I get anxious and have to force myself to interact with others. I tell myself I have to go, but I don’t have to stay. The women were lovely to me and it was not stressful at all…It was what I needed…
Well done Heather it must be an effort for you and you are putting me to shame. I have very little family as my daughter lives in Spain. My son is 13 miles away but I have only seen him once since Brian died although he did come on my birthday and said he would keep in touch, but nothing since. Seems I have to make the moves. My grandson and wife have been great but their visits are becoming less. I have always been the strong one in the family so I suppose they think I’m doing all right.
I must admit that I have never liked groups of women. I joined a mother and baby group years ago and I didn’t enjoy one minute of it. I felt the odd one out all the time. The only women’s group I liked was when I played darts and we had a good night out every week. Then I moved to this town and tried another team but it wasn’t a success, the team folded. So a bit apprehensive to risk it again. Might have a go at the bonfire night next week being held at the allotment, as know all the people. I can always run for home if I become stressed out and doubt anyone will notice me sneaking away. I do join a group of people all grieving once a month. I’m persevering but can’t really call them friends but we manage to chat.
I don’t want to join up with people for the sake of it. I want to have something in common with them or be doing something useful for me. I don’t know of any women’s groups by me. I don’t do ‘meeting for coffee’ as I don’t drink it or like the smell of it, so rarely go into cafe these days if they sell coffee, I don’t drink alcohol either. Goodness, does that make me sound unsociable, not really.
Brian used to say he married me because I didn’t drink as I was cheap to take out and I could drive him home which was another bonus.
I’m certainly not really a loner but at the moment feel safer in my own company although I have had a chat with seven people today, one of which I had never met before (dog walker). My mother however was a recluse and I wonder if it’s in the genes.
Weather really nice today so took advantage to stay outdoors all day.
Take care Pat xx
What’s happened to you all for the morning and evening ‘meetings’. I enjoyed knowing what you was going to do or had been doing that day. Good or bad.
I’m sorry to say that so far I am not having a good day so will be having a moan and know you will all understand.
Decided to make an effort and go to an exercise class nearby. However I found the time had been changed to later so my effort to mix wasn’t to be. I then decided to make a GP appointment while in town. No appointments available, can you believe that. This year is the first time I have bothered GP’s in fifteen years and now I can’t even get an appointment after having surgery in the summer and being concerned about how I feel. The hospital has discharged me so no help there.
Just opened an e-mail to see that a get together at the allotment on Saturday which I was actually going to attend has been cancelled because of the weather that is forecast
Raining today and although I usually like rain I could do without it today. So all in all not a good start to the day. But I will press on and try to do my best.
Sorry about being a misery but your the only people I know who will understand. Little things can seem a monster problem at the moment.
Hope some of you can have a reasonable day.
Pat xxx
Yesterday was also a letdown. I received my credit card bill yesterday and although I thought I had taxed my car there was no amount on the bill for it. But there was two other amounts that I had no idea what it was but something to do with the DVLA or so I thought.
I rang them and they confirmed that my car wasn’t taxed as although I had used the online address that was on their tax form I had in fact gone into a rogue address who had taken the money out of my account (Not a big amount thankfully) and I would have to ring the credit card people and tell them myself. After six tries still not got through, keep being cut off. So it’s a visit to the bank this morning. Why does this have to happen to me. Brian had taxed the car online for years and said how easy it was. Everything seems to be so complicated these days. So that’s two days getting nowhere. Still tomorrow is another day so I can only keep my fingers crossed no complications.
Pat
morning Pat or should i say good afternoon not moved far or very fast this morning ,it is strange but i find everything happening in threes these days also an old superstition in the part of the world i originate from his past week for me car broke down fixed it myself parts alone £100,my little dog got a skin infection £82 at the vets {didn’t mind paying for her would be lost without her,i then knocked china cups and saucers off the dresser while dusting felt really bad about it they used to belong to my wife Janes grandmother i glued them back together then looked at some of the others one had been glued back together before whether it was Jane or her grandmother i don’t know still felt bad but not quite as much,whatever happens in the future its always going to be a matter of sorting any problem out myself now no matter how big or small.
Kind regards MM69
afternoon Pat and MM, I’m guilty of not posting morning and evening greetings, going through some tough days at present, reverting into my hermit mode. this persistent cough isn’t helping either, thought it had eased off only to return with a vengeance.
feelings of isolation keep creeping back in but do try to overcome them. as the nights are beginning to draw in earlier, I’m setting up plans to occupy the long dark evenings and find I’m actually looking forward to it. may be a safety net away from the outside world, only time will tell.
hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today
blessings
Jen ☆
What a lovely idea!
It’s a little early to wish everyone a good night but I hope you all have sweet dreams tonight.
X
Hi everyone, sorry for being so pessimistic this morning. I had decided that I was going to make the effort to start mixing again and then find that the class had changed it’s times. So much for plucking up the courage to go. Obviously not meant to be is how I usually look at things.
I went into town to the bank who kindly let me use their phone to call the credit card people after seven attempts from home. Eventually got through to a nice young man who sorted things, refunding my money and putting a stop to the bogus interloper who went into my account but when I came out of the bank I felt like screaming like a mad woman, it’s all so uncalled for and at the moment I don’t want complications in my life. Thankfully it was pouring with rain and I think this calmed me down. I really have changed. I used to work for the local council and my job was working in finance. I sorted out all sorts of problems and yet today I felt snowed under with a stupid credit card problem. It just shows what this grief does to us.
So I went shopping in the pouring rain, got soaked.
I’ve had two days full of silly things to annoy me and that haven’t been my fault so let’s see what tomorrow brings.
Sleep tight
Pat xxx
Jen, I know exactly how your feeling. Don’t know quite what is happening to us but I also feel as if I’m going backwards. I am so disappointed in myself as I thought I was slowly finding some acceptance. This week I made a decision that I was going to do something each day to help me, something I could be pleased about, well that plan didn’t last long. I also have made a plan for the long dark nights. I’m going to bed early. Prop the pillows around me, hug my dogs, and we will watch TV (if I can ever find anything worth watching) until I drop off.
I agree the fear of that isolation and anxiety is constantly niggling at us. Never expected this.
Take care and good night.
Pat xxx
morning Par, working through some papers I’d stored away in my office until such time I could deal with them. started yesterday intending a drawer at a time. hot all 4 drawers worth out on the lounge floor, could only do this as Ada is at our daughters, working through with piles that require further attention reducing and piles for recycling increasing. one little pile left then out comes the shredder, shed a few tears when coming across things that should have been elsewhere. otherwise making some progress.
had a couple of hours out last night with a friend who has lived on her own for over 20 years since she and her long term partner split up it was a pleasant evening and we’ve arranged to do it again next thursday. was only 2.5 hours but it made all the difference. ☆
booked in for a back massage tomorrow, can take Ada with me, they have a pug too so they can play together of cause mayhem which is usually the case
hope you’re day is a better one today.
hope today is an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today
blessings
Jen ☆
Today I made myself go to a class to improve my core strength!
How is it when instructed to raise the left arm it becomes difficult to remember which is the left and which is the right?
The other people there were lovely but I felt I was looking on from the outside.
Can’t do chatting about nothing at the moment.
Perhaps another day it might be better.
Tired out anyway, so I shall wish you all a good evening and a peaceful good night.
Good night everyone.
I hope each of you sleeps well and that tomorrow will be better than today.x
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