Reading all these posts my heart aches for me and every one on here. 3 months for Mick I have his dressing grown next to me on the bed his jeans when last worn hanging over bed frame still there every thing of Micks is where it was I won’t move anything on a cold day I wear his jumper or one of his hoodies we do what we think is good for us . X
The mornings can be very difficult because we have a whole day ahead of us, a whole day where we might suffer, and so it can get overwhelming.
It’s the same for many people who find evenings a really bad time, because the day has now gone, and now they have a whole evening that they have to somehow get through.
For me, I hate mornings, but by noon I feel better, because it is lunchtime, and I can occupy myself. Then by 2pm I feel really bad again, I have gone past the morning, but now I have the whole afternoon and evening ahead. By 5ish I feel better again, I feel as if I have got through most of the day, and only have a few hours left, but by 7pm, the anxiety and grief is back, as the day is now ending, shops are closed, and there isn’t much to do to occupy myself. By 9.30pm I am better, because I know it is close to bed time, and thankfully, unlike many people, sleeping isn’t a problem for me.
And then this all starts again the next day. That’s why they say it is better to take it hour by hour instead of day by day, just try to get through the hour and then think about the next hour, not the rest of the day.
So true Abdullah, hour by hour is the way to go. Because there’s no pattern to it we never know when it’s going to hit us. Morning, afternoon,evening, bedtime, so unpredictable. But somehow we all manage to keep going so should be kind to ourselves and not expect too much. Really, coming on here giving and receiving support,we’re all doing incredibly well. Love to all
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Hi Abdullah
Yes I completely agree that taking each day an hour at a time is the best way because grief is such a rollercoaster of emotions throughout the day. I always find mornings difficult, probably because each time you wake the reality of the situation hits all over again and leaves me feeling sick and panicky.
I find working helps distract me and I haven’t taken a full day off apart from the day of David’s funeral since he died suddenly at the end of March.
I have tried but find that all I do is think about him and the future without him and I feel horribly anxious.
Gardening helps and walking the dogs as they are distractions.
Take care !
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Yes @bjane and @SarahJ01, it’s just really sad, isn’t it? You see other people planning for their future, what they’re going to do tomorrow, next week, next year, in five years time, and we just plan to try and get by hour by hour.
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I would like to thank you guys. All the last lot of comments have helped me. I struggle every morning as the loss as she not in bed with me. Then the various triggers throughout the day. Then in the evening when it get all quiet. I sit in the living room with just a candle on Infront of a favourite photo. I now have a cat which gives a little distraction and I know I’ve just gone the 5 week mark. But hearing the experiences of others do help.
So thanks again.
Hi Jay glad you have your cat will distract you in some ways
I’m pleased you have a cat now Jay. What have you called him/her? Do you have a photo to share with us? x
She’s lovely Jay. Yes I remember now, Ally cat 
. How old is she? She looks quite young. Has she settled in nicely? You’ll become great friends…x
So glad you’ve got your Ally cat Jay, we all need some lovely creature to look after and you look like you’ve found your Ally. Caring for her will really help and ease some of your loneliness. Also, lovely to have a living breathing presence to talk to! So pleased for you x
Hiya,
What a lovely photo,
Do hope you are enjoying her.
She settled in really quickly. I think she’s about 4-5 years. She likes sleeping a lot till 3 in morning when she wants to talk. Gives me a reason to get up in the morning. After I’ve dealt with the total loss and lonleyness I feel every morning
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I know what you mean about mornings,
The deep feeling of loss just wipes me out. I wake up and all there is are her pillows. Just Hurst so much. Never felt torturous pain like it
Tell me about it,you are so ŷoung to have lost your wife I did have longer than you not it is easy,but you had such a short time .
Do you manage to cook,not easy for one .
A beautiful little cat, she will help you so much
I often feel panicky, my chest feels heavy and I well up at the slightest thing.i usually know what the day is going to be like as soon as I wake up. I never knew that grief would be so physically painful or exhausting. You are not alone with these thought and feelings .
Hi,
No we are all n the same boat and none of us want to be.
As you say when we wake we know if we have even been to sleep.
Horrendous does not even begin to say how bad it is,physically and mentally.
I cooked for 23 years. But I can’t now. I have lost all enjoyment. Not had a proper dinner for 6 weeks. Feel sick all the time and surviving on microwave snacks. Just so broken and alone