My beautiful man gone forever.

Thank you Matt
I find the smallest of things undermine my confidence and I feel my loss all over again. Ongoing problems in the house with the heating system - which came on despite being switched off. Yet another visit from the plumber planned for tomorrow. I have spent a lot of money trying to sort things out which we should have done earlier but Roger didn’t want the hassle of it and trades people in the house. I find coming back to the empty house very challenging. I hope you get things sorted with the notary
Take care
Kate x

Hi Jonti,
Arranging the funeral can be so stressful. Is there anyone else who can help you with this? A local clergyman, who knew both of us helped me with that and it took some of the weight off my shoulders. I don’t really have a faith, but the people from the church were a source of some strength when making the arrangements.
There is so much to do in this situation and all of it seems unbearable. I found that after the funeral things calmed down a little and help give me some space to breathe again.
Take care and be easy on yourself.
Matt xx

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Hi Matt
Thanks for continuing to reach out to me.
I’ve had to come back to work but I’m finding it all very difficult to concentrate or have any motivation. At least there are people around me but the pressures of work are only actually adding to the turmoil going on in my head already.
I was contacted by a Minister yesterday and am meeting with him on Thursday. Hopefully he will also give some further guidance.
I went back home yesterday after work and thus was the first time going back to an empty home following work. It was difficult but I made it through with two lengthy phone calls and a session of texting.
Life is so different already and I know will continue to change. Thoughts and memories are bringing tears and the feelings of suffocation but I know I need to continue to do what I can

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Tomorrow is the day of the funeral. It is almost 4 weeks now. I’m finding it really difficult today. Went into work but was so emotional that I couldn’t cope and had to come home. I don’t know how I will manage the day tomorrow.
I’m going to see him for the last time today. That will be hard.
Keep thinking about an empty future. It seems such an empty space ahead.

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Jonti
This is a very difficult time. Have you anyone who can support you? Sending you hugs and sincere condolences
Kate

Thanks Kate. I know I have people around who all say that they are here if I need anything. However there is only one person I want and they are not here. Also, where are those people who say they will always be there? I know they also have lives but in the 2 days since the funeral J gave just sat at home alone. Now just laying on the bed at 4pm